Patterson, I wonder if you’d care to bring us up to date on developments in this sad but interesting little saga?
Well, thought I’d give this a new post. Nothing like a fresh page.
The situation is as follows, I have spent the last few weeks trying to look at the situation constructively. I have sat down with my girl and her parents and tried to get some info about the situation. Her mum seems to be happy that I am living there, which is a bit of a surprise. Her dad is still quite a cagey fellow, and plays things close to his chest. Well, they are just the in-laws, so I dont think about them much beyond when i see them. Things with my girlfriend are still up and down. I still blame her for her laissez faire attitude to the whole shebang, but for her part she has started looking for a job, and is taking more resonsibility for ensuring I get some respect in the house. Although… I still get interrupted all the time. It seems that when I am speaking it’s ok for people to just start talking to my girlfriend at the same time, and its ok for her to walk off and talk to them, and just forget what I was saying.
I have seen about 20 crap holes located here and there in Taichung, and have finally found a place to share with a guy who lives an a swanky apartment. I hope to move in there next week.
Conclusions: 1) I had no idea about what Taiwan would be like. 2) My girlfriend and I are both very stubborn. 3) Miracles take hard work.
Taiwan is what you make of it! TRUST ME!
Let’s hope that you save the relationship. Relations to inlaws in general improve over time. You just have to get used to them and vice versa, and that seems to be ticking along fine.
Sounds like all positive steps in the right direction!
Maybe now that your girlfriend can see you once again as the independent person she met in the UK, her respect for you and the relationship may reblossom…You never know.
Taiwan can be viewed in so many different ways…hung over at 5am and wondering why the hell I came to Asia…Or watching the sunrise over the pacific while riding down the East coast highway in shock over the sheer beauty of it all… 
As for the inlaws, you maybe surprised to find the father mellowing once you’ve left. If he sees his daughter’s commitment to the relationship continue and strengthen once you’ve moved out, he very possibly will offer his grudging support at a later date…Be patient.
However it works out for you, have a fantastic stay! 
Great news.
I’ve seen Chinese families that do the same thing to each other. There is a pecking order of who is permitted to talk over who. I’ve also seen Chinese families that treat other people speaking in English the same as the sound from the TV. In other words English is always at the bottom of the aforementioned pecking order.
I guessed the latter some time ago. 
That realisation is one of many reasons why we should believe that you may succeed where others have failed. In fact, it sounds to me like you have made great progress in a very short time.
Good luck!
Always nice to hear when things work out.
You are already accepted by your father in law. Trust me he’s showing it all right: you live in his house. You want him to show that he respects you? No problem, just be older than him and that will solve itself quite quickly. My father in law smiles when he sees me, and that more than he does to his own wife, but to reach that stage took 6 years. He’s not treating you much different than the youngs in your family, so I would not waste braincells on figuring him out. If he seems cagey, then it’s just him acting the role as the Chinese family father.
The only thing that I’ve learned from having relationships with Chinese girls is as goes:
Reasons for staying with you:
- You’re filthy rich.
- You’re a respected person in society.
- You’re something NEW (a foreigner).
- You’re a good lover(sxx*).
- You’re their servant.
- You’ll listen to her commands.
Reasons for leaving you:
- Found someone who has more money than you.
- You have lost the respect of family and friends.
- Foreign goods don’t feel special anymore(might want to try locals or ABCs)
- Can’t stand the length of the sxx*.
- You won’t be their servant.
- You have a mind of your own now.
*You know what it means.
[quote=“danny”]The only thing that I’ve learned from having relationships with Chinese girls is as goes:
Reasons for staying with you:
- You’re filthy rich.
- You’re a respected person in society.
- You’re something NEW (a foreigner).
- You’re a good lover(sxx*).
- You’re their servant.
- You’ll listen to her commands.
Reasons for leaving you:
- Found someone who has more money than you.
- You have lost the respect of family and friends.
- Foreign goods don’t feel special anymore(might want to try locals or ABCs)
- Can’t stand the length of the sxx*.
- You won’t be their servant.
- You have a mind of your own now.
*You know what it means.[/quote]
These could be excuses for ANY girl from ANYWHERE to stay with or leave a guy.
First, these people are not your in-laws, they are the parents of the girl you are dating. Living with the family of your girlfriend is weird and could only be uncomfortable and induce pressure.
Good that you get out. I mean, who lives with the parents of their lover/spouse unless there was something peculiar going on?
Come on up to Taipei. Plenty of fish in the sea up here. 
“It’s hard to be a man when there’s a girl in your head.”
Tears for Fears
true for boys like you guys, but no action for girls, that’s for sure!! 