I’ve dated one Taiwanese girl about eight times in the last couple months. On about date four, when I leaned in to kiss her goodnight for the first time, she said just kiss her on the cheek because it’s embarassing (out on the street). The next date, I dropped her off at her place when no one was on the street and leaned in again. That time, she says just kiss her on the cheek because she’s conservative. The next time, in the same situation, she said, “why do you want to kiss me on the lips?” I said, “because I like you.” She said, “so you think just because you like someone, you can just kiss them on the lips?” Last night, coming home at 6AM, it was the same situation.
Background – she’s 25, pretty, studied in LA for five years, comes from south of Taichung. I speak Mandarin just fine and she speaks English nearly perfectly. I said to her last night, “I assumed because you are very pretty and sweet that you’ve had boyfriends” and she said not many.
I’m sure she’s into me because she holds my hand whenever we go out, tells me I’m really handsome, smart, etc., stayed out with me late on Chinese New Year’s eve before heading home the next morning because “it’s romantic,” told me on New Year’s that she wishes I was with her and that she wants to bring me home, gives me little presents, leans up on me when we walk in the park, etc.
I’m willing to take it slow, especially sex, but for me, at the end of a really fun night to not even be able to touch lips or cuddle is really frustrating. It also leads to an awkward moment at the end where I could either be so patient as to show less interest than before, or keep trying and seem pushy.
To be sure, there are a few things about me that could lead her to take it slow – I am leaving here in less than a year (but not going too far away), she could think I am a foreign playboy-type (which I’m not much, especially if there’s one person I like). But rather than guess about it, I think on our next date, I need to have a “where are we going” conversation.
She did say when we started going out that she wanted to take it slowly, and I said I did too. But I’ve never dated anyone who was this “conservative.” I’m writing here to see if any other foreign guys have had similar experiences, or if any women here have any perspective.