If we colonize them does that mean we have to deal with dodgy ass engrish teachers running amok, jumping customs counters and grabbing girl’s butts on scooters down in the lower 48? I do realize getting the sophistication and worldliness of these chaps would be a great tradeoff.
I think someone else needs a 6 month course in diversity. 
[quote=“bobepine”][quote=“Toe Save”]Welcome my Amerikan Kousins…come on in, have a beer, put your feet up and smoke this…the hockey game is about to start…[/quote] 
:bravo:
Canada is missing the warm sea and the awesome beaches. We’d need that, too.[/quote]
Yeah, but from San Francisco, British Columbia, it’s be a quick hop down to Tijuana North (formerly San Diego for dirt cheap flights to Cozumel.
Furthermore, with Global Warming, we’ll have Coconut Palms on Wreck Beach afore-long.
[quote=“Doctor Evil”][quote=“Toe Save”]
I’d want Alaska back.[/quote]
Unfortunately for you, Canada never had Alaska. And, more importantly, you’re getting the parts of the US without much in the way of military force. If you really want it, you’re going to have a hard time getting it. Hell, the Alaskan National Guard is bigger than the Canadian Army.[/quote]
Fortunately, The New Improved United Provinces of Canada would have little use for a military. But we’d have the crackeriest of SAR teams and First Responders in the world. Use all that money for smart books, not smart bombs.
And Alaska now is a geographical line. 150 years ago (not that long really), it was known only to a few Inuit. Let’s ask them, shall we? Wouldn’t it be great to finally have a real Pacific Northwest?
[quote]
But look at the bright side, you get Compton. Sure hope you like N.W.A. up there in the Great White North. [/quote]
See above. We are taking from as far south as Northern Cali. Or Cali as it’ll most likely be called, as the surfers will be hanging ten off The Sierras, the HIGH Sierras, as the rest of it has fallen into the sea. Compton has been renamed Swampton.
Wasn’t Canada home to the original N.W.A.s? Came by way of a little thing called The Underground Railway.
You see, we embrace all cultures in The UPC. Even Amerikan. 
[quote=“Doctor Evil”][quote=“Toe Save”]
[/quote]
Actually, I could go along with how that map is laid out. No problem at all.[/quote]
Why would you want to give up all the states that make such a large net tax contribution? I mean, it’s not like all of those farmers and ranchers in the heartland could break even without $100k/year in national farm subsidies. How are you going to fund those? A Waffle House tax? Jesusland would be begging for some IMF hand-outs within five years.
Yeah, and who provides the technology and research for the US military? We put up some technology embargoes and Jesusland’s army will look like the PLA in 15 years.
Look on the bright side. All those southern states that are always ranked 47th out of 50 or 49th out of 50 in science and math education could now be ranked 31st out of 34 or 33rd out of 34. That’s a great start!
[quote=“Toe Save”]Invade Canada? You’ll soon discover a pot plant behind every blade of grass. 
Wouldn’t it be better to beg Canada to let you become the 11th province? I mean, come on. Canadians are obviously far superior to our bigoted, gun-toting, in-bred cousins to the south. We got the water. We got the diamonds. We got the trees. We got the arable farmland. We got Holyweird North. We got the sense of humour that extends beyond simplistic shadenfreude. And we got Whistler Blackcomb…the finest ski/golf resort in Norht America. We have all the best things America needs. We will give each person that agrees with me (that the USA should beg Canada to allow them to become the 11th province) an honourary iron-on flag for your backpacks and a new passport that gets you out of a terrorists sights for free…
[/quote]
You forgot tar oil sands. But please stop, you’re awakening the blood fever in us. We know you have resources. That’s why we want to conquer you. Several southern and western states in the US are going to be experiencing major water problems within the next 50 years. The water wars are coming, make no doubt about it.
Let’s pull out from Iraq and occupy Canada. Iraq is causing us too many problems. If we occupy Canada we can be sure resistance will be meager at best, and the loss of life will be far less than in Iraq. Canada already has a well-built, stable infrastructure for harvesting, refining, and distributing its natural resources, and a local base of experts and workers who for the most part speak English and thus can receive instructions and commands more easily than the Iraqis. And yet their military is vastly smaller than our own. Sounds like the perfect target, no?
[quote=“Toe Save”]Invade Canada? You’ll soon discover a pot plant behind every blade of grass.
Wouldn’t it be better to beg Canada to let you become the 11th province? I mean, come on. Canadians are obviously far superior to our bigoted, gun-toting, in-bred cousins to the south. We got the water. We got the diamonds. We got the trees. We got the arable farmland. We got Holyweird North. We got the sense of humour that extends beyond simplistic shadenfreude. And we got Whistler Blackcomb…the finest ski/golf resort in Norht America. We have all the best things America needs. We will give each person that agrees with me (that the USA should beg Canada to allow them to become the 11th province) an honourary iron-on flag for your backpacks and a new passport that gets you out of a terrorists sights for free…
Welcome my Amerikan Kousins…come on in, have a beer, put your feet up and smoke this…the hockey game is about to start…
[/quote]
I livew in maryland, I cant tell if I am in canada or jesusland.
living in illinois puts me in the US of canada. sweet.
we shall be assimilated. the north american super union will happen without the consent of any voters anywhere. the rich have deemd it to be done. it shall be done. just last week, it was ruled that mexican truckers driving mexican trucks will be allowed to roll thru out the US. now we can even kiss truck driving away as one of the last jobs a working class guy could support a family on. US trucking companies will relocate to border towns, skip US safety regulations and make bigger profits while we all suffer a decreased quality of life (and crappier trucks clogging up the trafficways).
Turn those aircraft carriers around: full steam ahead for Hudson Bay!
Scramble those jets!
roll those tanks!
Let’s go! 
It did invade Canada once, but the Americans lost.
You guys forgot that we could expand our maple syrup production. I think Maine is about tapped out.
Do you guys want the White house to be burned down again? 
ha ha
Oh and Jesusland, do you guys want Mormon country or no?
That’s a popular urban legend in Canada, but it was British troops shipped over the Atlantic via the Bahamas that actually burned down Washington.
It was a revenge strike for American troops burning down Toronto (Fort York).
Anyway, the second war between the U.S. and U.K. was, literally, a tie. The British failed to recapture the colonies and the Americans failed to expand their borders into the northern portion of the North American part of the British Empire.
True true, it’s 1/2 British troops and 1/2 Colonial troops, and Canada was under British Sovereignty at the time, so technically it’s British troops. ha ha
Most of the population in Canada was French at the time, anyway.
Hey, if it wasn’t for the native americans, Canada would have lost that war big time. Of course no one remembers that the Indians basically saved Canada
Here’s a question for you Canadians: If the US really did invade Canada, would you die defending your country or bow before your new masters? :fume:
Two questions for you:
- Why the ire? Do you have issues?
- The U.S. can’t even win wars against backwards third-world countries like Vietnam and Iraq. And you think you would be able to take over Canada? Not a chance.
Two questions for you:
- Why the ire? Do you have issues?
- The U.S. can’t even win wars against backwards third-world countries like Vietnam and Iraq. And you think you would be able to take over Canada? Not a chance.[/quote]
I don’t think the Americans would ever invade Canada. However, some provinces could possibly join the US in the future or become independent countries, although I find these scenarios to be longshots at best.
For example, if Quebec seperated from Canada one day in the future (won’t happen anytime soon with coke-snorting Bosclair leading the seperatists in Quebec), the Maritime provinces would have to re-evaluate their role within Confederation, since many Maritime provinces would no longer be joined geographically to Canada. Would they join the US? I don’t think so (although many of Newfoundland’s elite [particularly in St. John’s] didn’t want to join Canada in 1949 [e.g. former Tory Cabinet Minister John Crosby’s family] and most business merchants favoured joining the US). However, these days, the Maritime provinces receive a lot more money in transfer payments from Ottawa than they send, so I think they will always remain part of Canada. In other words, they won’t bite the hand that feeds them.
In my opinion, the only province that would ever consider joining the US would be Alberta. If the Feds ever implemented another “National Energy Program” against Alberta, I think between 40 to 50 percent of the population would be in favour of joining the US or becoming independent. Again, I don’t think this will ever happen. Alberta is being better represented in Ottawa these days [Harper and the Conservatives). However, given the historical demographics of Alberta (lots of US ranchers settling in Alberta in the early days), its conservative politics, and the pro-American viewpoints of many Albertans, I think it would be the only province in Canada to consider such a move under certain circumstances.
Two questions for you:
- Why the ire? Do you have issues?
- The U.S. can’t even win wars against backwards third-world countries like Vietnam and Iraq. And you think you would be able to take over Canada? Not a chance.[/quote]
I thought Canada was a backward third-world country? The Atlantic Provinces like Newfoundland make the Ozarks look right cosmopolitan.
Anyway, if you country actually had helicopters that flew…it might be a contest. 
Two questions for you:
- Why the ire? Do you have issues?
- The U.S. can’t even win wars against backwards third-world countries like Vietnam and Iraq. And you think you would be able to take over Canada? Not a chance.[/quote]
One might be tempted to say this was just a clever dodge. My question went unanswered.
I was really just trying to rile up you Canadians, with little success apparently. But seriously, I do get a little tired of all the quasi-pacifistic, guilt loving, let’s-all-hands-and-sing-kumbaya-give-peace-a-chance Canadian nancy boys. As I said, I don’t include you in the list.
We won every single major military engagement in our decade-long struggle with North Vietnam, but eventually the American people got sick of the casualties and wanted us out. We toppled the Baathist regime in Iraq pretty damned quickly, didn’t we? I think we “won” in that regard. Think the current crop of Canadian quasi-pacifists will strap suicide bomb to their chests and rush American firebases? Mine all the roads in the country? Think Canadians can match the NVA/Viet Cong and Iraqi insurgents in their willingness to fight to the death to defend their country?
Of course I don’t really want to invade Canada. You’re allies! As I said I am just tired of all the foppish Canadian liberals.