This has not been my experience. As I have said elsewhere I had major problems with my in-laws in the beginning, to the extent they boycotted the wedding and called my wife the night before to decry the evils of Western men. Fortunately neither my wife or I share your viewpoint that it is “childish” to refuse to bow before ignorant, racist bullies.
And it turned out to be a short term problem. Once they got it through their thick skulls they could do nothing further, suddenly they wanted to bury the hatchet. I grudgingly agreed, and now everything is fine except for that reoccuring hatred and disgust which occasionally rages in my heart when I think back to those days.
I know all too well the feeling of the then not-yet-in-laws trying to set her up with bound-to-be-rich Taiwanese guy who was about to graduate from Caltech with a triple major in physics, astronomy, and engineering or something like that. My darling would have nothing of it and told them to shove it. Now keep in mind her parents were fully aware we were engaged, but refused to recognize this fact. They would not speak of me and refused to let us see each other. An entire summer went by and I could not see or speak to her they had her so well locked away. I was beyond furious in that incredibly hot Texas summer of 2000 :fume: :fume:
They did everything they could to break us up during our engagement of over two years. Everything. The OP’s story is different from mine but with the common thread of jerkhead future in-laws. The real issue here is not the a-hole parents but the fiancee. My estimation of her would depend on how she reacts when they try to set her up with all these Taiwanese guys. Does she humor them by going out on dates? Does she say she’ll think about? Or does she tell them (and him) to go f*ck themselves and stay with a friend for a few days?
I don’t buy this whole fiancee’s mother depression story either. Sounds like an obvious ploy to keep the OP’s fiancee at home.
This has not been my experience. As I have said elsewhere I had major problems with my in-laws in the beginning, to the extent they boycotted the wedding and called my wife the night before to decry the evils of Western men. Fortunately neither my wife or I share your viewpoint that it is “childish” to refuse to bow before ignorant, racist bullies.
And it turned out to be a short term problem. Once they got it through their thick skulls they could do nothing further, suddenly they wanted to bury the hatchet. I grudgingly agreed, and now everything is fine except for that reoccuring hatred and disgust which occasionally rages in my heart when I think back to those days.
I know all too well the feeling of the then not-yet-in-laws trying to set her up with bound-to-be-rich Taiwanese guy who was about to graduate from Caltech with a triple major in physics, astronomy, and engineering or something like that. My darling would have nothing of it and told them to shove it. Now keep in mind her parents were fully aware we were engaged, but refused to recognize this fact. They would not speak of me and refused to let us see each other. An entire summer went by and I could not see or speak to her they had her so well locked away. I was beyond furious in that incredibly hot Texas summer of 2000 :fume: :fume:
They did everything they could to break us up during our engagement of over two years. Everything. The OP’s story is different from mine but with the common thread of jerkhead future in-laws. The real issue here is not the a-hole parents but the fiancee. My estimation of her would depend on how she reacts when they try to set her up with all these Taiwanese guys. Does she humor them by going out on dates? Does she say she’ll think about? Or does she tell them (and him) to go f*ck themselves and stay with a friend for a few days?
I don’t buy this whole fiancee’s mother depression story either. Sounds like an obvious ploy to keep the OP’s fiancee at home.[/quote]
WOW WHATA STORY. good job hanging in there and doing whats right for you and for your lady !!! you get the GOLDEN FINGER AWARD, for not giving in AND to give it to em in the face of adversity. BRAVO.
I would likely agree with the sentiment that there is no ‘one’ person who is your magical fit for the rest of your life.
It takes a bit of work and the outcome is not guaranteed.
Having the out-laws oppose decreases the odds of success or at least makes thing mroe difficult, but it is by no means a show stopper. I would look at it from the perspective that if you can’t even overcome something like that, what’s going to happen when you hit really tough issues?
[quote=“Elegua”]I would likely agree with the sentiment that there is no ‘one’ person who is your magical fit for the rest of your life.
It takes a bit of work and the outcome is not guaranteed.
Having the out-laws oppose decreases the odds of success or at least makes thing mroe difficult, but it is by no means a show stopper. I would look at it from the perspective that if you can’t even overcome something like that, what’s going to happen when you hit really tough issues?[/quote]
Its what elderly people say when they want to try to emphasize that their words carry more weight than a younger person’s. I do it myself all the time, even though I KNOW it makes me look like an idiot. I just can’t help myself sometimes.
I’m a western dude and would defently not let my kid marry the kid off a lawyer eather.
So you would not give up your job in Melburne for her and move to Taiwan even if you could?
Brake up, you probartly don’t love her enough. I could make 7times more a year by staying in norway, but still I’m here.
Her mother neaded a day or to to acept me, but after cleaning some tables and carry a few tonn’s off vegetables into her resturant I’m ok. I’m more acepted than her sisters Taiwanese boyfriend.
Her father was a litle harder, he though it was ok we was together, but did not want us to get married, but the last couple off mounths this has changed and he try to make shure that my promise to take good care off her is valid.
He wondered WTF I was doing in Taiwan after he found out what kind off money I was making in back home so I gues he figured out what kind of secrifase I did to be with her.
Her older sister was concidering girls dating westerns as bad, but she seams not to care at all.
Stop to worry about your job and make up your mind if you want her or not.
No, age isn’t an excuse to look down on the young. But the fact is that people tend to look at relationships both romantic and familial with different points of view based on their relative ages. Twenty-somethings look at things differently than people in their forties, who have different viewpoints than people in their sixties, and so on. And in most cases, this is due to amassed experience – their own and that of others. Why do you think every generation says that the following one just won’t listen and will repeat the same mistakes?
[quote=“Stian”] I could make 7times more a year by staying in norway, but still I’m here.
[/quote]
Yeah, but you’d be paying at least 4X more in taxes, you’d be living in virtual darkness for a large chunk of the year, and you’d have to pay steep prices for beer. liquor, and snus at the government stores. Aren’t you a little bit glad to be out of the “nanny state” for a period of your life?
[quote=“Stian”]I’m a western dude and would defently not let my kid marry the kid off a lawyer eather.
So you would not give up your job in Melburne for her and move to Taiwan even if you could?
Brake up, you probartly don’t love her enough. I could make 7times more a year by staying in norway, but still I’m here.
Her mother neaded a day or to to acept me, but after cleaning some tables and carry a few tonn’s off vegetables into her resturant I’m ok. I’m more acepted than her sisters Taiwanese boyfriend.
Her father was a litle harder, he though it was ok we was together, but did not want us to get married, but the last couple off mounths this has changed and he try to make shure that my promise to take good care off her is valid.
He wondered WTF I was doing in Taiwan after he found out what kind off money I was making in back home so I gues he figured out what kind of secrifase I did to be with her.
Her older sister was concidering girls dating westerns as bad, but she seams not to care at all.
Stop to worry about your job and make up your mind if you want her or not.[/quote]
well said !! taiwanese parents are just overly protective. Just keep hanging around and they WILL accept you. If you wont give up. And a job is just a job. A person can never be replaced. NO one will be EXACTLY the same as her.
the seeking of knowledge IS part of learning and IS part of “experiencing” life.
Perhaps i didnt communicate my thinking well enough (certainly NOT the first time thats happened )
i meant that if one knew everything that was to happen to one and one was not empowered to change anything, then it wouldnt be so fun would it? really.
and even if one knew everything that was to come and could change some parts of it, that would be wonderful and even ideal , but, that would affect THE PRESENT of ones life , would it not?
thats what i meant by life is for living. but i never meant that one should not LEARN all there is to learn, because in fact that is part of the natural progression and education of ones soul. I often think that we are on earth as souls who are students of life. And later we graduate onto other things.
the OP has thrown a question out there that obviously he is struggling with. And is to be commended for throwing that question out there to gain perhaps a different perspective on the situation (sometimes one fails to see all the trees around him and continues to look for the forest).
its a valid question for which the answer to him will change his life. I myself know what it is I would do, but thats just me.
I think its great that hes willing to gain some insight from others and thus will be better armed to deal with what is correct for him and his situ. Based upon all the facts that he is aware of, and of course we are not aware of all the facts .
I am 32 years old and my girlfriend is 28. Hope that helps!!!
What do you guys think of fortune tellers?? My girlfriend’s mother went to see a fortune teller with my girlfriend sometime ago to try to find out whether our relationship would be succesful.
At that time which I think was about a year and half ago the fortune teller said our potential future marriage would not be very good. This time they went to different fortune teller and he told them we would would have a good marriage which has made my girlfriend quite happy because the pressure from her mother has slighty eased since then.
I am a bit of sceptic and tend be very suspicious of fortune tellers. To me they are all just con artists but it seems to me Taiwanese put alot of faith in these strangers to help them make decisions. Has anyone had any personal experience with fortune tellers in Taiwan??
My ex wife would believe anything a fortune teller told her - he got the advice to prepare for a divorce, which she did.
I think that’s what they call a self-fulfilling prophecy, but then a semi-decent cold reading would have given the fortune teller enough to work with, I guess.
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