Maybe he bats for the other side now…
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Thank you for your input people:) I’ll just reply here.
Yes, we do sleep together on the same bed, with a goodnight/morning kiss and occasionally a light slap on the butt, more friendly than sexually.
and yes, things were pretty hot before the pandemic.
Also yes he talked specifically about what he’s worried about work and other things, which I do relate with, and has made me shut my mouth right away(the world is going to end woman and you only think about sex!? - voice in my head)
As the possible “side girl” situation - we never talked about being exclusive, I don’t date other people because I am more or less emotionally committed. If the feeling is not mutual, then I should adjust my expectation.
Performance issue/depression - this I can’t comment and I am not going to ask. He can talk if he wants to, it’s rather personal.
We do support each other emotionally, somewhere in between good friends and 60 ys old couple. I’ll need an opening better than Hey are you shaxxing someone else and if we ain’t shaxxing I’m gonna find someone else to shax:)…maybe something more adult-like. What is a good opening?
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Have you tried initiating. Maybe he is confused.
Maybe he is not emotionally invested.
Do you argue often with him? He may have lost interest due the the arguments.
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Can’t ask partner about performance issues or depression, but can ask on internet about his lack of willingness to put out? Yea…
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Was he vaccinated? I read somewhere on Forumosa about a guy getting vaccinated and then becoming impotent.
You have put yourself at a disadvantage. Definitely try to communicate and set expectations for both sides. It’s only fair to you and him.
“Hey babe, I’ve been feeling empty inside recently…” 
Seriously though, more important than the sex question should be the relationship status question. What are you to each other? Does he see a future with you? Or are you just a friend with benefits?
haha thanks…no he’s not vaccinated but did suffer from a psychotic episode…I wonder if it’s a midlife crisis but people said that’s a myth ~
It’s not, but it’s not necessarily a crisis either. More like an ego re-alignment.
It can be very frustrating when women think we all just want to have sex all the time and if we don’t, something is seriously wrong.
I get really stressed, or mental and physical tiredness is really a killer of my libido. I just don’t even want to think about something so intense as physical intimacy sometimes. It adds to the stress when the girl is getting on you about it. I also don’t necessarily want to talk about the stress and what’s giving me metal blockage.
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Maybe this well help:
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Then take the catheter out! 
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excessive nagging and insufficient attention to personal hygiene have also done it for me in the past
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For the record, me and others guys here don’t have such problems. Move on
Ewwwwwwwwwww. Right back at you. 
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I couldn’t resist!
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Sure if over 40, with no exercise his testosterone levels will drop, and his circulation will decline. Perhaps get him lifting weights.
Being unfit at his age will limit his ability to get a hard boner , it will become floppy.
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Maybe…
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Did he try Cialis / Viagra to remove doubts about the physical side of the situation?
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I’d argue that if the stress level is so high it kills you’re libido, something is seriously wrong. That shit ain’t healthy.
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especially if he drinks and smokes
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I thought they were both pretty people.