Woah! I just read the OP and skipped the rest. I’m guessing people have told you to call some kind of helpline and all the usual stuff. And I agree with them. I’ll just add one thing in case no-one else has mentioned it:
memes and videos… especially of cats!
Seriously. If you can’t afford anything else but still have internet, distract yourself from your negative thoughts by looking at funny stuff. Already seen every cat on the interwebs? Start over again and see you favorites. What’s the worst that could come of it?*
(*Actually it’s possible to die laughing, but that’s pretty rare.)