That is so true about kids , plus I think he plays guitar. Kids just love that and it brings joy to them and money to the pocket.
It would help to shorten that link…
But in summary, my relationship with my parents from childhood is basically make me question my own sanity, makes me think I am a failure, and makes me not trust any adult at all.
Because too many instances (as a child) my dad would meet with some other adult, and as soon as I got home I get a bad spanking because I acted weird, said something I shouldn’t have said (one of the many schemes my parents are running to conceal facts from other adults??), and basically I was a bad boy. No child abuse or anything but psychologically it was like they just took me and whipped me with a cat o nine tail for not doing what they said.
According to my dad the reason my life is a failure is because I did not obey him enough, that I am stupid, have no wisdom, etc.
My mom passed away when I was 17. She wasn’t around much at all to provide any real guidance. I was much closer to my mom than to my dad. My dad was a retired Colonel who demands obedience, nothing more, nothing less. I messed up because I disobeyed his order.
I do not know how to get a busking license. I can play guitar but I am out of practice and not really good with timing, and I’m told there’s a test I have to take and I am not sure if I would pass.
I did a demo class at American Eagle school (somewhere in Tianmu) and the boss said I was too rigid and therefore not fit for duty.
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Not true at all!! Yes, some girls and friends like nice cars and such but not all. As I also try cut down on spending, I found some people (dates too) do not need go out and spend big, even a NT$80 meal was ok for dinner date and long chat and more for me. I think just most people want be happy and happiness does not mean lots of cash to everyone.
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also I will mention the reason my life is shit is because I decided to be a republican and play with guns, which is somehow illegal if I were in the country illegally. My dad will never ever admit that it was their fault to begin with. He says it’s my fault that my life is messed up. So in his eyes I am a failure. My dad takes responsibility like Donald Trump takes responsibility.
And now COVID-19 just about messed America up and so they’re probably in desperate situation now. Karma is a bitch.
You’re meeting most of the ideas offered here with resistance, which says to me your depression has poisoned your mind and made it impossible for you to think about pursuing any new goals at this time.
I hope you will speak to a doctor soon and then refer back to this thread when you’re ready. Good luck.
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yea, I heard truth serum makes people more suggestible…
There’s a lot of things in that statement and added together they ain’t very nice.
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They have professional counselors at the Center up in Tianmu. They will work with you on the fees depending on your finances
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Do you always give up on your first try ? I was told the same or worse in a couple of cram schools. I sucked. I’m not a natural jump around the class kind of guy. Doesn’t matter, try the next one. I’ve worked in about ten different cram schools in the past (all part time), never enjoyed it, just did it for the money. Making a living. Over time I got good enough to not feel like a fraud and I worked hard too.
For my job now I did at least six interviews to get it. Six! Over a period of a month or two. I gave myself one year to try my best and here I am many years later. It can still be a tough job at times and what job isn’t these days ( was working from morning to late last night and I don’t always sleep well). That’s life .
Prior to that I did multiple round interviews with other companies, even got a job offer which suddenly disappeared when I needed it the most. Soul crushing. They never explained why they withdrew the job offer. Just …poof. Could have been anything.
Do you think white people always get the first job they want because they are white ?
It doesn’t work that way . You have to keep trying and get your foot in the door…Somewhere…Anywhere ! Once you built up experience and confidence , you will get a better position and most likely better pay as well .
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Edit reading this back it’s too harsh for an anonymous Internet forum.
Remember the world is your oyster. You are born and it’s up to you to live your life. It’s not out Others to live your life for you.
There is some fantastic advice in this thread. But you need to work on why you are so angry.
Every issue you have presented has an easy fix.
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Start simple maybe, do something physical, start small. Preferably something that involves contact with other people. Local fitness meet up or something.
Even shallow interactions with people, like fixing up your bill with the person at the coffee shop, has been shown to stimulate endorphins and ward off depression, so suggest just pushing yourself to get out there, starting slowly.
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I just talked to the landlord and explained about the COVID-19 and having jobs canceled. He told me just pay what I can as long as I don’t go over the top (I assume this means don’t go missing rent for several months).
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That’s too bad. Sounds like your shop is nearby (I think I saw 新莊 earlier) so I could’ve gone for lessons and provided you with some much needed dough.
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I can teach basic guitars, and basic chords, I just cant teach you how to shred or play sweep arpeggios like Ywengie. I can teach you to play easy songs with simple pentatonic scales, that’s probably about it. So for basic guitar I am probably fine and I’d thrown in guitar maintenance too.
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Sorry to hear about your situation.
My advice is to count your blessings, be grateful and treasure what you have.
Find inner peace independently in our inhumane human world.
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Sorry to hear about what you’re going through. If I was living in Taiwan at the moment, I’d shoot you a message and ask if you want to hang out. I know what it’s like to be depressed and lonely there.
During my first couple of years in Taiwan, I was depressed as fuck because I was teaching English to bratty children and I hated my life. I wanted to go back to England so badly, but I was scared everyone would think I was a quitter so I stuck it out. Plus, all I had ever done before teaching English was work in retail for nearly 10 years, so I felt like there would be nothing for me to do if I did return, except to go back to dreaded retail. Teaching English to children in Taiwan pays well (relatively speaking), but it isn’t a good idea if your heart isn’t in it.
Because I was so desperate to get out of teaching English, I spent much of my free time doing the only thing I could think of that might realistically take me out of English teaching as a foreigner in Taiwan - I taught myself basic programming skills. My background was in linguistics and I wasn’t technical at all, so this was a big deal and I constantly worried that I was wasting my time. However, I was desperate enough to get out of the English-teaching game that I persevered. Between programming and Chinese studies, I didn’t have much of a social life at all. Not that that really made much of a difference, because at that point in my life I was still too depressed and insecure to have much of a social life anyway.
Eventually, I landed an entry-level tech job in Taipei and it was one of the proudest moments in my life, even though the job paid the minimum amount required for my visa, which was considerably lower than what I earned as an English teacher. All my colleagues had computer science degrees and impressive tech backgrounds, but I got in completely on my own and at a relatively late stage in my life after two unfulfilling “careers” in retail and English teaching were already behind me. Having long since consigned myself to being a “failure”, I can’t express what a boost to my confidence and mental health this was. I now have a very successful and fulfilling career, having worked for some of the biggest tech companies in the world.
However, I still struggle to make friends and wouldn’t be able to get a girlfriend if my life depended on it. Yes, even in Taiwan where local girls are said to be so “easy” if you’re white. But now that I’ve achieved some level of success and fulfilment, not being able to get a girlfriend doesn’t really bother me anymore. That’s actually made it much easier for me to talk to women and make female friends as I’m no longer anxious and desperate.
As somebody who used to think I was a gigantic failure who would never amount to anything, I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying. I think in my case, I was just so unbelievably unhappy as an English teacher (and I dreaded going back to London to work in retail almost as much as I dreaded stepping into those classrooms) that I had the motivation to push myself to get out of it. Because I had a vague idea of how things worked in Taiwan, I could realistically envisage myself getting an entry-level tech job. I know it’s easier said than done, but I think you also need that vision and realistic goal to work towards, whatever it might be.
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I’m getting myself out of retail by repairing guitars but the work is just so little… so right now I’m just trying to see about printing T shirts. I’m not an artist and I’d be content to print T shirts for organizations or whatever if that paid the bill. I spent a lot of money trying to get set up for that.
Yea I get tired of woman sometimes because honestly I feel they get their power by withholding sex. I take away that power by saying I’ll sleep with a man or a woman, doesn’t matter. It’s just as pleasurable to me. At least with men I can go to saunas for that.
I used to have this idea that going to the West solved everything but I realized Taiwan has its merits. And they’re somehow able to keep the corona virus at bay.
This is not a healthy attitude and it can lead you down some dark paths. Sex is not something that women owe you but are deliberately withholding just so they can wield power over you.
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So why do people buy expensive things for their girlfriend and all that?
Because if they didn’t the girl would dump the guy and find some other guy that would. And the guy only do it because they want sex. So I bet many of them got the idea that they can just use the withholding of sex to control their man.
Because they like her and want to do nice things for her that make her happy.
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