Well, I looked at the Taipei Times Website today to see what fascinating enhancements they have come up with. And the latest exciting feature is … a dictionary! Bloody useful it is too! I mean, looking up China for example, we are told it is “a country in Eastern Asia.” Now the Taipei Times reporters have a veritable goldmine of information at their fingertips. An “idiot” we are told on first reference is “a man in private station, as distinguished from one holding a public office.”
I tried looking up “Taiwan,” but there was no reference. Presumably because it isn’t a country?
Keep reading:
Moron
(n.) A person whose intellectual development proceeds normally up to about the eighth year of age and is then arrested so that there is little or no further development.
Moron
(n.) An inferior olive size having a woody pulp and a large clingstone pit, growing in the mountainous and high-valley districts around the city of Moron, in Spain.
I did not know there was a specific age limit for morons…
I like their definition of “nakedness” as “the privy parts.” Hmmm.
Oh well, credit for trying.
Buffoonery
(n.) The arts and practices of a buffoon, as low jests, ridiculous pranks, vulgar tricks and postures.
I also just discovered what a “merry-andrew” is … now I can’t wait to insult someone using it !
Now for the piece de resistance: “tit”
Tit
(n.) A small horse.
Tit
(n.) A woman; – used in contempt.
Thanks for the dicktionary update, Monkey. Whatta a farce!
BTW, what’s with the TT now NOT publishing those come on ads for sex services as they did as usual for as long as I can remember? Suddenly, as of March 1, the sex ads have been yanked, no pun intended. WHY?
The China [Taiwan] Post still runs them, as does the News. Of course, we all know what happened to THAT MONTH IN TAIWAN! Fired the editor, whoever he was…
But did the president of the TT sudddenly get religion, after publishing a very good letter to the editor on Thursday defending free speech and the right to advertise sex ads. Good letter, then the TT pulls all the sex copy. What going on there?
Monkey know?
All their on-line dictionary does is make them look even more incompetent. I hope noone tries to use it, 2 others to look up - ‘chinese’ and ‘gay’. I think I’ll stick with dictionary.com if I want to know what something means
“Taipei Times - Entering into the global village of strategic alliances” sounds like it belongs on a 50cc scooter
But don’t they have quite a lot of readers who, in their own words, are “loose, dissipated, lewd” members of “that yellow race with oblique eyelids”? Let’s hope none of them needs to use a dictionary.
Another conehead classic from the Taipei Times’ online dictionary. 
I mean really, WTF were the management thinking? How could this be of practical use to anybody?
Lesbian
(a.) Of or pertaining to the island anciently called Lesbos, now Mitylene, in the Grecian Archipelago.
Lesbian
(a.) Amatory; erotic; – in allusion to the reputed sensuality of the Lesbian people and literature; as, Lesbian novels.
Where on earth did the nutbags at the TT get this “dictionary”? It almost seems like it has been filtered through an online translation program first. Could this be what the students get on their hand-held electronic dictionaries?
The president of the TT is surnamed Lee. Thought I’d have a go with that:
Lee
(v. i.) To lie; to speak falsely.
Lee
(n.) That which settles at the bottom, as of a cask of liquor (esp. wine); sediment; dregs; – used now only in the plural.
Wolfman writes: “Drudge alleges that it is a hoax. That does not make it one.”
Quite right, mate. But if it turns out to be a hoax, will TT admit and do a follow up piece for readers? Wolfie, you used to work there, right? Can you forward this to the proper department, say, the department of news clarification? Thanks.
F.
by the way, that dicktionary is just a goof. don’t take it so seriously, monkey. It wasn’t meant for you anyway.
And who is Professor Lee, Wolfman? Is he the man who actually runs that place? Did you know him? Calling him a very to be LIAR is pretty strong language. Did he ever lie to you? All I can say is wowsers!
adding: a talk forum in UK right now about the alleged memo:
By the way, der spiegel mentioned pretty much the same story as the observer did. spiegel.de/politik/ausland/0 … 12,00.html
Someone mentioned the Hitler diaries earlier on. That is actually a pretty good reason, why the observer story is more than likely not a hoax. “der stern” printed “die hitlertagebuecher” and never recovered from that hoax. They lost too much credibility.
Rokossovsky - 11:20am Mar 2, 2003 GMT (#294 of 558)
If you read my previous posts … about the unleashing of the Israeli Mossad to kill in the U.S. and West … you can see how deeply I’ve opposed the Iraq War, but this “NSA memo” is an obvious hoax, from the spelling, etc.
Maybe it was “leaked” to discredit the GUARDIAN and the TAIPEI TIMES a liberal press in Taiwan, which it certainly does, if they’re rating it as newsworthy.
Pussy
(n.) A pet name for a cat; also, an endearing name for a girl.
White
(n.) A person with a white skin; a member of the white, or Caucasian, races of men.
Negro
(n.) A black man; especially, one of a race of black or very dark persons who inhabit the greater part of tropical Africa, and are distinguished by crisped or curly hair, flat noses, and thick protruding lips; also, any black person of unmixed African blood, wherever found.
Pornography
(n.) Licentious painting or literature; especially, the painting anciently employed to decorate the walls of rooms devoted to bacchanalian orgies.
Ha! That’s what you think. It’s perfect fodder for anyone who loves to make the management of the Taipei Times lose face. After all, through their professional incompetence they embarass the workers who actually bolt the newspaper together every day and they embarass Taiwan as a whole. I think we’re doing sterling work, don’t you?
This might be a good one for the professor to read over. I’m going to put “sovereign of the universe” on my next business card to encourage people to “god” me more.
God
(a. & n.) Good.
God
(n.) A being conceived of as possessing supernatural power, and to be propitiated by sacrifice, worship, etc.; a divinity; a deity; an object of worship; an idol.
God
(n.) The Supreme Being; the eternal and infinite Spirit, the Creator, and the Sovereign of the universe; Jehovah.
God
(n.) A person or thing deified and honored as the chief good; an object of supreme regard.
God
(n.) Figuratively applied to one who wields great or despotic power.
God
(v. t.) To treat as a god; to idolize.
Wife
(n.) A woman; an adult female; – now used in literature only in certain compounds and phrases, as alewife, fishwife, goodwife, and the like.
Hmm … we have “croquet” and “horsemanship” but not “soccer” and “america.” The dictionary has not heard of “television” and the only definition for “computer” is “one who computes.”
Keep your eye on the ball, Formosa. I looked up the word ‘lee’ in the ‘e-dictionary’ on the TT Web site. The definitions were what I copied here.
And if you want to contact the TT, go ahead. They do have an e-mail address, you know.
[quote=“monkey”]
Wife
(n.) A woman; an adult female; – now used in literature only in certain compounds and phrases, as alewife, fishwife, goodwife, and the like.[/quote]
Oh dear, it’s such a pity to lose that useful word “wife” from the language. I’ll have to make sure to keep it out of all my writing in the future. But of course it must be right to do so – we can’t argue with those language mavens and lexicographers at the TT, now can we?
P.S.: Though I join in ribbing the TT about this hilarious dictionary, it does not detract from my very high opinion and appreciation of the generally excellent newspaper that they publish each day. I don’t want to discourage the people who make such an important contribution to my daily life in Taiwan.
sorry about that Wolfman! I was nOT keeping my eye on the ball. NOW I see what you done did. WOW part II! I wonder what is says for FORMOSA?
"Quote:
Calling him a very to be LIAR is pretty strong language. Did he ever lie to you? All I can say is wowsers! "
Keep your eye on the ball, Formosa. I looked up the word ‘lee’ in the ‘e-dictionary’ on the TT Web site. The definitions were what I copied here.
And if you want to contact the TT, go ahead. They do have an e-mail address, you know.
amazing graCE!
I have found out why the ‘Dictionary’ on the Taipei times website is sooooo wrong… it is from about 1937, no, really, it is.
the biggest giveaway is the definition of ‘Pound’:
(n.) A British denomination of money of account, equivalent to twenty shillings sterling, and equal in value to about $4.86. There is no coin known by this name, but the gold sovereign is of the same value.
The exchange rate hasn’t been that since the 1930’s
Whilst it doesn’t have names of countries (except China) it does have adjectives from names of countries. If we place relevance on existance and non-exsistance of words, then ‘Persian’ places it post 1935, and the lack of ‘Thai’ places it pre-1939. In any case, ‘Pound’ places it firmly pre-world war II.
Others that date it badly: Aeroplane, Rocket, Computer, Automobile (Anyone who knows about cars like to comment on the horsepowers ?)
What I can’t work out is ‘Why ?’ Why go to all that trouble to make yourself look stupid and untrustworthy as a source of information ?
Webster’s 1913.
India:
A country in Southern Asia; the two peninsulas of Hither and
Farther India; in a restricted sense, Hither India, or
Hindostan.
Using that entry and searching for “hither india,” you can find other 1913 Webster’s dictionaries online.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Jez! Look a gift horse in the mouth, will you? The dictionary is FREE! It has lot of words, too. OK, maybe not ALL the words you university-educated egg-heads know, but how much has the world changed since 1913 anyway? I mean we had airplanes back then, you know. And the important words are there like … well, the important ones!
Just remember: What you get for nothing is worth nothing.
Well, there’s no “America”, no “United States” and no “USA”.
Rule Britannia, Britannia rule the waves … 