Catholic AND traditional slaveholding taiwanese parents. Let her know your feelings, let her decide. Perhaps sugest moving somewhere together, preferably very far away from her family. Being a catholic family in taiwan, ironically, tends to make everything a special kind of hell. If no movement on her side, highly suggest cutting your losses and move on.
Most people wait till the point of divorce and/or suicide to make that decision.
In the end, Taiwan has some amazing women, but having one that makes your life unhappy/stressful needs to be dealt with band aid style.
How so? My wife is Catholic, and I get along with her family just fine. In fact, I’ve found them to be more open-minded and accepting than your average Taiwanese family. They have no problem, for example, with the fact that I’m an atheist. I’ve found Catholics in Taiwan to have a very live-and-let-live attitude in general.
It appears OP and his GF’s values are different. In actuality, TW family tradition is that women move out when they’re married. If OP insists on living together before marriage, perhaps he should find a “non-traditional” Taiwanese family or American family where he’s from. Imagine TW father‘s, mother’s, grandpa‘s, grandma’s (especially grandparents) reactions. I won’t repeat some grandparents’ reactions I saw lol. Out of all Taiwanese families I know, I can personally count with only 2-3 fingers that’s “non-traditional”. And one of them is a perpetual bachelorette against her wishes. All the other girls I know moved out when they got married.
This is pretty common in Taiwan, I always see men and women into their late 20’s still living at home with mom and dad. Many taiwanese will always put their parents 1st no matter what, and basically be slaves to them. If she is almost 30 and her mom is calling her at 9 pm to come home for curfew that is a huge issue lol.
It sounds like the catholic thing isn’t coming into play as much as the taiwanese culture thing. Sounds like you gotta get her over to America, or move in with the parents (lol).
I think the bigger question is this: what’s your game plan? Do you wish to live and work in Taiwan—and if so, starting when, working where? Will you be happy doing so?
Or: do you have options to study, grow, start a career in the US? Would that be what you want?
Clarify your goals first. Then the rest will be clearer.
If you aren’t going to marry her now, why should she move out…to give it a go with you for a few years to see if she is the one you want to commit to ?
You have your answer here already. And most Taiwanese families I know will give the same answer.
Many Taiwanese and mainland Chinese too are straightforward when it comes to dating. They’ll say upfront whether they see themselves getting married to each other later on. If yes, they’ll continue with the end game in mind.
I applied this on Western men and it’s surprisingly a super effective way to weed out indecisive or non-serious men. In the end I had 3 men who were dead serious about settling down. One of them is my current husband.
Of course, if one just wants to have fun then no need to do this.
Any chance your gal spent a magical week in Anchorage, Alaska before you two met…? This would be 2015, March…
Sorry, never mind.
This has unhappy written all over it, and you need to get some outside perspective.
Most people get relationship counseling after they’ve made some mistakes in either selecting or mistreating their partners. In this case, just for fun, go see a marriage counselor or relationship coach before the fact.
They’ll give you the usual, love yourself, invest in yourself, and then while you’re taking over your world, you will undoubtedly meet another gal when you are more than ready to make her Mrs Jimbob.
Guys, Here in Taiwan people date for 8, maybe 13 years, then get married. They hook up in high school, go through college, graduate, save money to buy a house, then, marry. It is perfectly acceptable to marry at 40 and beyond.
That said, many women are virgins at 40 plus. It is not because they do not care or want or whatever. They may be waiting for the perfect guy, perfect background, etc. They are financially independent and basically, travel and have fun and do not want a complicated life. Or fear the unknown. Who knows!
That said, if after 4 years, OP is still on first base… metaphorically speaking, still treated as a guest, instead of a partner, .there may be necessary to talk sincerely about goals and expectations and beliefs. This last I think the clash of civilizations is insurmountable, but that is my opinion. Only OP knows.
