I’m going to get a tattoo.
It will read “I am a sailor and I’m not stupid,” only in Chinese: 屁股為租
But how would you know?
If you’re a Maori or a Pacific islander. Otherwise they’re just silly. Like blonde dreadlocks. Or Prince Charles in a kilt.[/quote]
Though technically, only the Maori nobility/royalty/warrior class were allowed to have tattoos. Ie. those with an important lineage or brave deed to tell, etc.
I gave myself a tattoo today on my right butt cheek with a sharpee and a safety pin.
It’s like a cartoon caption bubble coming out of my sphincter that says, “I’m ugly and stupid…and I stink”.
I can’t sit right now because it hurts, but oh the laughs I get when I show it to my friends.
I’m ugly and I’m stupid and I stink. Is it my anus or is it the tattoo speaking? That rocks.
Ouch, I just tried to sit down. What have I done? I should have made my nipple talk instead. Then it could have said, “I’m ugly and I’m stupid, and useless”.
At least I could sit on my sore ass.
PP was right, tattoos are stupid. And ugly, mines bleeding; hope it doesn’t get infected. Too late, it’s too near my bum.
Signed,
not JM, someone hijacking his pc. sucker.
Reading John Moss’ post, I am eerily reminded of Jackass 2, where one of the guys gets a brand (a double-brand even) of a penis and balls image… on his right cheek… his ass that is. And it gets infected apparently.
Never saw that episode,
Wish I would have now.
I picked up a 5 litre bottle of H2O2, so I’m good to go.
I decided the nipple design is a go as well. Easier to keep clean.
Now if I could only find my lucky safety pin…oh, there it is, on the floor. Sweet.
That was super-funny, though. That guy is my dreamboy.
(Actually, I like the “Beehive Limo” sequence more.)
That was super-funny, though. That guy is my dreamboy.
(Actually, I like the “Beehive Limo” sequence more.)[/quote]
The last skit almost made me puke… ie. the words “crabs in the hair” and “I had that shit in my mouth” makes me wanna gag.
He’s hot, isn’t he!
Oh, yes. And not just because of the face, but because he is willing and able to make a ton 'o cash by branding a big cock and balls on his arse.
Bam got the branding, but would you really call it a tattoo?
Steve-O, the man who famously staples his nuts, has this masterpiece:
Then there was the “off road tattoo” - when Jeff Tremaine tried to give Steve-O a smiley face tattoo in a Humvee driven by Henry Rollins around a BMX track.
Tribal Style Tattoos are historical and cool.
They found an ancient iceman in Italy, and he had tattoos. I thought they looked very cool.
Yes. Yes. My man says that my love for Bam is proof that we are meant to be together.
This actually worries me a bit 
When I was single, it was useful for thinning the herd at last-call time when women had “Arschgeweih” (ass-antlers), a.k.a. the “tramp stamp”, above their ass.
Key problems with many tats:
-
Poorly thought out – i.e., what was I thinking when I got Wile E. Coyote smoking a cigarette?
-
Poorly executed – i.e., why did I go to the discount parlor to get a blurry Wile E. Coyote?
-
Poorly positioned – i.e, why did I get a Wile E. Coyote that just sticks its blurry, cigarette-smoking head up over the collar of my dress shirts?
Into category 1 goes all the Chinese tats strippers in America get where they’ve told me: "Yeah, like, that character means ‘wicked’ in Chinese… " (Me: “That character?”) This category could include tattoos in which the owner lays in their allegiance to a sports team of which they are not a participant, but I do realize that there are diehard fans who see nothing wrong with permanently connecting the appearance of their skin to the accomplishments of others.
Into category 2 goes all those Chinese tats done by American tattoo artists that look like a first-week Chinese-language student using a ballpoint pen to do their homework. However tattoos over a certain age also get a lot of leeway – we can all forgive the U.S.S. Maine for sagging on grandpa’s chest after his pecs have lost the ability to “fire a broadside”. However, “generation x” and younger doesn’t have a good excuse for crappy blurry artwork acquired during civilian life conditions.
Into category 3 goes all the tattoos you see at American waterparks that might have looked fine with a tube top but get blocked by the strap when worn with a swimsuit or evening gown.
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
People choose to have their tattoos removed for a variety of reasons. Dage Decuir holds a picture of one of the tattoos she is having removed because she said they would distract from her strapless wedding gown. Ms. Decuir has gone through five laser tattoo removal sessions.
Robert Hurtado went to a Dr. Tattoff center for his tattoo removal.
Mr. Hurtado’s tattoos being removed.
Here’s the scene: youtube.com/watch?v=esyK3WL48bI
Be sure to watch till the end of the clip to see how beautiful it turned out. 
Oh man…that was rich. That Bam vid had me howling. Funny on many levels. Priceless. 
You gotta watch it.
One of the reasons I married my first wife was that she had a homemade tattoo of a rose on her pelvic bone, just above her vulva. (this was back in 1983) That and the threesome she so lovingly arranged for me on my 27th birthday. (With a skinny Native American woman, a woman totally confused about herself, weighing maybe 100lbs. Of which 35lbs was tits. At least.)
Christ did I love to fuck that tat.
Key to our relationship, though, was that it put me straight to rut. Which is where she preferred me, to better control things.
The too-obvious image a tattoo provides, though – one that’s fixed permanently in time and space and lacking anything resembling Maori soul – can prove useful when one naturally measures one’s personal growth. What I mean is that once I realized that I’d married an extremely attractive woman whose lifelong goal was to see the look on a man’s face when he ejaculates into her, her tattoo became instead a reminder of just how stupid I thought her for her obsession, and me for mindlessly obliging. Honestly not sure that would have happened when it did, if not for her tat. And timing, as they say, is everything. They also say that a picture is worth a thousand words.
So thanks, Cecelia. That tat, that fix in time, was the sign that things were due to end. Which they did forthwith.
Tats are extremely powerful reminders of what was. The key is this though: can the other forgive. The answer is, not always.
I suspect other men (and women) will feel the same, given time.
Also, poor quality tats really look like shit on old skin.
They hurt my eyes. Their presence in a room lowers the mean IQ quotient by at least 10 points, thereby increasing the likelihood of an accident, for gawd’s sakes! [/quote]
The proper term for that, according to the book of Imanisms, is [color=blue]IQuity [/color]- the sum total of intelligence in a room which can fluctuate, negatively or positively, just by the presence of a certain person in said room.
And I disagree that tattoos are ugly. Some can be very artistic, but it doesn’t make the person who has it look any less trashy. My little sister has a Japanese carp tattooed on her foot. It’s a beautiful tattoo. But it ruins her foot aesthetically, in my opinion…
Holy shit, that was an oxymoron - aesthetically-pleasing foot.
Anyways, I do think that Maori tats are cool, but they also have a cultural connection to them and were not done just because they were on their last spring break with the girls/guys before college would change their lives.
And don’t fool yourself that any tattoo done on someone’s back or arms is for only the tattooed. If it were, they would put it somewhere a little more visible to themselves and less visible for an audience.
Asslers especially included.
[quote=“ImaniOU”]Holy shit, that was an oxymoron - aesthetically-pleasing foot.
[/quote]
No it wasn’t.
BroonAnkles