I don’t really care to leave, but I am facing some very tough circumstances. There is a slim chance of returning to Taichung to teach… but then I’m back on the wheel. Doing something my heart isn’t into and eventually having to look for a job again.
I’ve done desktop support, phone/email support, field repair work for DELL, data center and NOC administration (Intuit and Microsoft), software testing, IT management, phone system administration, WordPress admin/design, instructional design, multimedia design and I’ve taught classes in computer technology.
For almost seven years, I’ve had a job feed coming into my email (Monster.com)and have seen so many jobs back in the states pass me by. I lost a PhD at dissertation and just feel a sense of loss being here. I don’t know what it even means to have resident rights. What can I do?
I’d like to have the feelings I had before leaving the US when I was a research assistant at UNLV… when I had colleagues who were pursuing the same dream. When I could come home after work… sit in the hot tub and enjoy a Newcastle (or three) beer.
Teaching does not challenge me to be better. In fact, I’ve found it hard to believe that so many teachers I’ve met lack the basic skills in Excel to design a grade book. At the last job, I redesigned the grade book for the school. Complete with weighted scores, conditional formatting for failing students, ranking for top three and bottom three students, counts of failing/passing students and averages for each (respectively).
It astounded me that nobody knew how to do this. Not that I am any “prize pig”, but these things can be picked up fairly quickly if one uses the tools (Google + brain) at their disposal. I even had to show others how to remote into the school computers to access or upload data to the shared directory using Google Remote.
With hardware, I’m not too shabby either. When doing field. repair work for DELL I could disassemble and install new motherboards on six laptops (due to counter space) at the same time. Teaching was something I took up as a substitute to fill the gaps between contracts… and it has been something I have used as a vehicle to get my APRC. But I still don’t know what that means.
I know I can get a credit card on my own standing, but what else does it mean? Going back home sounds good on paper… but to really get off to a decent start I’d have to save a lot of money. My biggest quandary comes from a lack of income at the moment. It’s the “in between time”. Presently, I’m stuck in a hostel barely surviving and don’t have an abundance of friends who can or will help out. My family is in an imposition given that my father is on permanent disability and my mother doesn’t work… because she takes care of him. I hate borrowing from people… I truly despise it, but what can I do.
Neither the ex-wife nor the ex-GF did a lot to help get me onto a job board (Chinese) or translate my resume. Not that it was their duty to do so, but it sure as hell would have helped. I suppose I could go to the to the Employment Bureau and apply for the subsidy for unemployed foreigners… but I’d really like to do this on my own two.
Going to Taichung was a terrifying experience… I know Taipei well and feel safe here. I’d imagine going back home after seven years would be the same. While it might be the US, it would be a shock that would be diffict to cope with.
Mostly, I feel a lack of confidence in myself. I know I wasn’t a great husband… but I was a damned good boyfriend to this woman. To the point that she commented on it even as she left me. But none of that really matters. My “mojo” is missing and it seems each year gets better at first… only to fall completely apart.
I’d like to know the advantages of what I’ve gained access to and possessed for only four months. Because as of yet, I still use TEALIT to find work… and I’m growing very disgusted with schools, school administration and the educational system in Taiwan.
Please… tell me… what have I gained access to. What does it even mean to hold an APRC other than I can come and go as I please… and hold an open work permit? I really need some wisdom and guidance here because I’m quickly losing this battle.