My bf and I met in China around 6 years ago. He didn’t like working in China so he decided to move to a surfing village South of Taiwan in 2019. I decided to apply for job in Taiwan, got an offer from an international school and then the pandemic came. I got stuck in China whereas my bf was in Taiwan. We continued our LDR until the borders reopened and I was finally able to get into Taiwan. I got a job in a school, an hour and a half away from him. Then, our problem started. We’d been away for almost 3 years and I would assume that he would be really be excited to see and be with me. But, it was the entire opposite. The past months that I had been to Taiwan, we were never physically intimate. He never prioritized to be with me and would rather spend time with his friends at the weekends. We rarely celebrated holidays together as he would always have other plans. I have talked to him about this problem but he seemed not to understand. Also, I have broken up with him so many times and he would just always tell me to give him another chance.
The last straw was when I got an offer from another IS in another county , 6 hours away from him. I told him about it and he seemed to never cared about it. I totally broke things off and blocked him.
What’s bothering me is that he told me that I was evil and horrible. Terrible!
You’re not evil or horrible, it’s him. Move on. Plenty of Taiwanese men would be interested and intimate. I know it hurts but he clearly isn’t the one.
Long story… I was suppose to be in Taiwan in July 2020 to be with him but the borders closed so I had no choice but to stay in China and wait for the borders to reopen. He didn’t want to go anywhere, just stayed in Taiwan.
Right, I knew that part. What I didn’t know was that the borders were closed even to foreigners like you who were trying to leave China. That’s pretty crazy.
But Taiwan’s borders remained open to foreigners coming in on work visas, right?
Sounds like he has someone else in that surfing village talking for him or telling him what to say. People that hang around in those areas, or anywhere really, for awhile tend to hook up.
Sometime maybe will need to acknowledge he’s moved on. For your own emotional and mental health.
I have thought of that as well. We were away for almost 3 years and from the time I came to Taiwan, he has never been physically intimate to me… Which is really nearly impossible for a guy… I asked him if he has someone else or sleeping with another woman, but he denied it… I have been in Taiwan for the past 7 months, and we spent less than a month together. He always have something to do at the weekends. I broke up with him many times but he just kept on coming back.
We women feel the need to be nice. Even with jerks. Not only is this unsafe, unnecessary and demeaning, but it takes away a bit of your soul. You know it in your heart. Enough is enough.
As my dear auntie Damaris used to say: te quieren o no te quieren. Either they love you or they don’t. Lesson learned: this is not what loves looks like, feels like. Next time will be better.
Always two sides of a story, I don’t know what I am supposed to do with the limited and one sided info you gave us besides tell you to move on and good luck.
