Oooh, sounds sexy. Monkey shit brown bag lady cottager…
You sure are painting a graphic (puke) picture, Sandman. Maybe Wolf will get itchy soon. Facial pubes are like, gnarly, man!
In the old days when I sported a beard from time to time, I’m sure it used to turn off far more Chinese girls than it attracted. But the latter seemed to enjoy it enormously when I wielded it as an instrument of pleasure around their nipples and in other equally sensitive erogenous zones.
In younger days, when the beard was still soft and silky, I believe that it looked and felt rather nice. But now that I’m no longer quite so young, I’m sure it’s lost those appealing qualities, so I haven’t let it sprout out since many years past.
I did, however, make a rather silly mistake on the facial hair front early this summer. I succumbed to the whim to grow a moustache, and allowed its ends to curl around my mouth and creep halfway down my chin in what I deludedly thought must be an awfully dashing bandido lady-killer look. My girlfriend obviously didn’t like it, but accepted it philosophically enough. The problem was that, when it was already a few weeks old and well established on my face, we decided it was time to get our wedding photographs taken (the actual wedding won’t take place until the month after next). She hinted that I’d look much better without the moustache, but didn’t press the point. When we met with the photographer to discuss the pictures a few days before the shoot, he also very delicately suggested that I might consider removing the moustache, or at least trimming off its two extremities. Unfortunately, I ignored him. When the pictures were developed, I realized just how right they’d both been – the moustache was a huge mistake, making me look a great deal older and, I have to say, downright sleazy. The moustache went very soon after that, and all my gf’s family and friends who saw the pictures before they saw me say I look much better and younger without it. Now we’re seriously thinking of having another set of wedding pictures taken (yes, repeating that awful ordeal) so she can show off and keep a memento of the clean-faced and much more youthfully handsome version of her husband-to-be.
Moral of the story: think twice, and then think some more, before you let that hair sprout out – and heed what others have to say about it, especially the wife and/or girlfriend.
Isn’t the moral not to think twice about facial hair, but to think twice about having expensive and important pics taken with said facial hair?
Or don’t have wedding pics taken at all. Better to go to the Print Club and take pics in the booth so you can send postage-stamp sized stickers to all the relatives to put on their mobile phones… 
One of the biggest problems with beards or moustaches is the gunk they pick up when you eat or drink.
One of the biggest advantages is that you can leave off trimming your nose-hairs and no one will notice.
Wolf, now that you’re a mod, you might want to hold off on the beard growing and only grow it when you need to disguise yourself.
Or you could grow one like this:
Viva la revoluci
What a fine example of a bearded one to hold up to us, Alley – one of the greatest men of our times, and one of the world’s most distinctive beards.
Omni, yes. Just be thankful I didn’t put up a picture of my Portuguese great grandmother.
I thought the “pencil test” was how women could determine whether their breasts are sagging.
Aside: one of my college girlfriends could hold an entire copy (paperback, unabridged) of “Mobby Dick” under either of her breasts without it falling down.
I thought the “pencil test” was how women could determine whether their breasts are sagging.
Aside: one of my college girlfriends could hold an entire copy (paperback, unabridged) of “Mobby Dick” under either of her breasts without it falling down.[/quote]
The only way that would have worked was if she had those udder breasts; you know like on National Geographic.
So, what you’re saying is, if you’re Mobby Dick you get nestled in some lovely gal’s bossom. If you’re Moby Dick you get shafted by an old salty pervert.
Alley is right. It is a disguise. 
And my feeling is that you need to grow the beard longer than you want, trim it shorter than you want once and then grow it out to the length you want to keep it trimmed. This ensures a nice, thick pelt…
Omni,
Take those negatives from the wedding pics and scan them in hi-res. Photoshop out the soup-strainer. This is pretty basic design work. Saves doing all that crap again.
It seems the wolf is not at the door, but behind the Iron Curtain.
I am a mole…
Not a bad idea, Wolf.
I don’t think my Photoshop skills would quite run to that, but perhaps I could find someone with experience as an official censor to do the requisite air-brushing for me.
Or, perhaps, give your woman a mustashe and turn all the pics into gag photos…
There was some sort of global beard competition in Nevada this weekend:
story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=s … 1102015724
Here is what Wolf can aspire to:
Where did you get that pic of Sandman? 
Are you a
- Dont trim the top of the beard – the woodsy look (or the unibomber look…)
- Trim the top of the beard so it looks sculpted – the Count Dante look.
- Don’t trim anything, top or bottom, and look like _________.
:?:
I thought that the beard on Saddam looked pretty cool. A wash, trim and combing would have given him a pretty nice one. And in the Arab world, a beard is an important thing. He’d have looked more clerical or scholarly.
As for me…
Does Sir Reinhold really like that?
re saddam, cool beard, yes, i thought he looked like that hanyu pinyin guy dan jacobsen in Taichung area. ever seen his photo? spitting image of saddam bearded