We went to Subway. When I told the salesgirl six inches, my wife said, “I wish!”
A friends wife said “When you back up you have to open your door so that you can see where the tires go”. Whenever we argue mine always tries to end it with a “So, :raspberry: Chinese have 2000 years of history!”. Or when I ask “Why do you walk in the middle of the road?” and she answers “Because it’s safer.”. I could quote from now till, well you know when and I still would not finish with all the ones she has come up with. Mine has also said the toilet one too, so that was a real good laugh.
On another note: When in Canada my wife saw a big magpie and asked my father what kind of bird it was. My father replied" It’s a magpie." Her response was “Does it taste good?”, “In Taiwan we don’t have those, maybe we ate them all.”.
Several locals have told me that they have around 5000 years of history. Each time I advised them not to mention that to foreigners. When they ask why, I point out that they should have accomplished quite a bit more given that amount of time they’ve had to worth with. I then suggest using a more sensible number like 50 years unless they are in Taichung which only shows about 5 months of evolutionary progress.
I agree with you on that one, that is what makes it soo funny as well. By the way, the 2000 years was a typo. I meant to type 5000 but pushed the wrong key. I am not used to the combination of a keyboard and adding machine together. Some screwups are bound to happen, even to you young lads. I did not reread the message before I sent it so I knew there would be comments back if I made a mistake. Good catch though.
I also say that you had 5000 years and you could not invent a toilet? Also they must think that they were the only humans on earth for 3000 years because they also come back and say “Yeh, the west is only 2000 years old.”.
PS I’m not going to reread this one either so if mistakes, bring it on!
My ex was watching that terrorist movie with Ben Affleck in it with me. And after the part where an American city gets blown up by a nuclear device…she asks me…“Is this a true story?” :loco:
You are wrong, China has not had 5000 years of history.
Just 50 years repeated 100 times.
Honestly, only chinese scholars claim that China has 5000 years of history, I would put it a tad over 3000 years.
My wife cannot say fart. She says frat. I correct her time and time again, but it’s always, “Did you frat?”
Yes, the does it taste good seems to come up with just about everything.
Mine stopped at Koala’s and Fairy Penguins. Just a little too cute for eating.
What that really means is they memorized the book, but understand not a word of it.
What that really means is they memorized the book, but understand not a word of it.[/quote]
Couldn’t agree more! I have a theory about the Taiwanese(maybe all Chinese). They have NO DEPTH PERCEPTION. They wait for you to get close and then they pull out in front of you. Also many others.
Heres one from a friend. He turned left on a red light and his wife asked him why he did it. He replied "That’s the best time. That’s when everyone does it, isn’t it? Welcome to Taiwan, where green means GO, yellow means GO FASTER, and red means STEP ON IT!
I asked my wife once “Why do Chinese eat everything?” Her response “Because we can.”.
Another story about my wife. The first winter in Canada she looked out the window and saw it was a bright beautiful sunny day(3 feet of snow too). She marvelled at how great it was and was so happy. She then said she was going outside and promptly ran out the door in her pajamas(it was morning). We all looked in amazement and tried to stop her(half heartedly) but she was out the door in a flash. Next thing we heard was this VERY loud scream and some nasty words. She rushed back in and proceeded to yell at myself and my family about how cold it was and how strange Canada is. She said “If it is sunny outside then it is warm, that’s the rule!”. We promptly replied “Whose rule?” She said “Everyones rule, natures rule. We learned it in school.” She learned a valuable lesson(or 2) that day. Now, she doesn’t trust her teachers, nature, me or my family. It sure was a good laugh though. Her jumping around in the snow in her bare feet.
The quality of new houses are very good…
Soon they are going to have bi-langual school, gymnasium indoor and out door swimmingpool, and its gonna look as in the pictures.
I think you should go this way … (refering to a map held upside diwn)
Why did you do that???
-When a car cut in front of me, breaking down, and nowhere else to go at 110km/hr, I break to avoid any pile-up on the freeway - her tea got stired…
Me: Let’s go up north to take a plane from CKS International Airport (look at my handle).
Her: …but we always say “go south to the airport”
Tip: Look at the map if you live in Taipei area.
“You spend more on drinking than I ever can spend on shopping”
-After buying a NTD 10.000,- bag - second bag that month…
(I would probably have dropped dead if I spent 20K for drinking)
This is the way it is, you will probably not understand it, even if I try to explain .
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I was consoling my wife after she got her scooter towed away. I said " don’t worry about the money. It’s only an hours pay. It’s nothing"
She replied" it’s not the money so much but i just feel so dum…ba
(get it??? after a half second delay,she pronounced the “b” in dumb.)
I told her she shouldnt fell dumb about getting her scooter towed but she should about saying dum…ba.
wait another one
she puts shoes in front of the door when we leave so criminals with think we are home.
[quote=“dix2111”]wait another one
she puts shoes in front of the door when we leave so criminals with think we are home.[/quote]
I did that once. Make sure she only uses OLD shoes for that purpose! 
My wife just won, tonight, a 31" LCD television at her companies weiya party.
She says we should sell it because she is never lucky.
But, because she rubbed my belly this morning she now thinks that maybe she is lucky and wants to buy lottery tickets.
She is most confused with her good fortune.
For our honeymoon, my wife wanted to go to the Maldives. Once during our stay there, she remarked (with some displeasure) that she was turning 'black" (i.e. getting a tan, which I thought looked rather good). It didn’t seem to have occured to her that spending 10 days wearing a bikini on the beach would darken her skin.
[quote=“dix2111”]wait another one
she puts shoes in front of the door when we leave so criminals with think we are home.[/quote]
Why is this so dumb? Strange perhaps but dumb?
[quote=“TainanCowboy”]My wife just won, tonight, a 31" LCD television at her companies weiya party.
She says we should sell it because she is never lucky.
But, because she rubbed my belly this morning she now thinks that maybe she is lucky and wants to buy lottery tickets.
She is most confused with her good fortune.[/quote]
Her confusion is your good fortune? 
I used to teach recent immigrants to Canada (in Saskatoon). This misapprehension was a common one, and it seemed the older the student, the more times he or she had to freeze before they would finally believe it.
To be fair, they come from places where, if it’s cloudy, it is cool, and if it’s sunny, it’s hot; so they look outside and see the bluest sky they have ever seen and the sun shining down, and the fact that there’s snow all over just doesn’t register. In Saskatoon, the sun can be so bright you can hardly see for the glare, on days when it is minus 40.
[quote=“X3M”]
This is the way it is, you will probably not understand it, even if I try to explain .[/quote]Don’t worry, I understand perfectly