I’ve forgotten the best ones, but here are a few from my gf:
We have one of those surge protector-type of extension cords for the computer equipment. You know, a 6-plug strip outlet with individual fuses and toggle switches per outlet. She insists on flipping the toggle switches to OFF for any outlet that doesn’t have something plugged into it “so we don’t waste money”.
She doesn’t like being cold either, but unless I’m physically present, she will always unplug the little electric heater and sit around wrapped in a blanket.
She still doesn’t understand the basics of air conditioning (leaving it on after the room gets cool, etc).
She seems to be the equivalent of a information black hole. I can give the most informative explanation possible, it goes in, and then nothing. There is no physical evidence that the explanation ever existed, was delivered, or is interacting with anything in her head.
My favorites are her answers when I forget myself and fall into the conversational quagmire of asking her “why?” about something she does or thinks. Her answers are normally totally unrelated, illogical and/or unconnected, but she gives them to me anyway and then smiles like she has achieved something. After one too many of these episodes, exasperated, I’ve actually heard myself saying, “You know, if I ask you what color something is, your answer actually needs to have a color in it.”
The scariest part is that I’m not talking about a 19-yr old xiaojie from some backwater village. She’s over 30 with a graduate degree.
I couldn’t agree with you more! These stories seem to all be coming from MY wife. Is it the water? The food? The culture, education? Or are we all just a bunch of know nothings?
My wife once blamed me for global warming because I like my house warm in the winter. :s
I also got blamed for her sister not making money on the stock market.(No mention of the millions I saved her. No need to thank foriegners)
Just some of the fun of mixed cultures.
One I like is that we have to have all the windows open all the time when home, any season or we will die. We will suffocate! Didn’t you know?
I have fixed that one. Well, most of the time anyway.
My wife:
You’re in Taiwan now, that’s the way we do it in Taiwan.
My answer:
Ok, but this is a Belgian restaurant/coffeeshop, so to speak a small piece of Belgium and here we do as if we were in Belgium… and in my kitchen I’m the boss.
Think about kids that have to go through this the whole day!
Last Sunday
Venue: Gasthof zum Adler, Taipei
Me to Kids: What would you like to drink
Kids after discussing: Coke and Sprite mixed
Mother: If you drink warm water then you can have a ice cream!
Me to Wife: :raspberry:
Wife to me: :fume:
Kids: drink Coke and Sprite mixed, loved the Ice Cream
"you know that thing the blacksmith uses, the fire gun. you hold it like a gun and it shoots out fire. you hold it against the thing you want to melt and fire comes out. do you know what I try to say, ( I’m writing this as she is talking to me)
Okami, do you have any clues on this “fore gun” she speaks of/ Is it some magical ancient chinese folklore?
[quote=“dix2111”]While asking me how to fix a broken metal chair.
"you know that thing the blacksmith uses, the fire gun. you hold it like a gun and it shoots out fire. you hold it against the thing you want to melt and fire comes out. do you know what I try to say, ( I’m writing this as she is talking to me)
Okami, do you have any clues on this “fore gun” she speaks of/ Is it some magical ancient Chinese folklore?[/quote]
Just a note to you all out there. A blow torch uses butane, an arc welder uses electricity(220 volts) and a mig or tig welder uses electricity and gas combined. The acetelene torch mentioned uses oxygen and acetelene combined to form a very hot fire. These are all a type of welding gun or torch. They are used for different applications and different types of metals and welds. Just a note to help clear things up. Hope this helps out.
My wife just said “I do not want our children educated here or with this system. I want them educated in an open system like Canada.” Then she went on to say “I have my family here so I don’t want to move.” When I inquired about how she proposed to do both she just said “I can do it. I am Chinese.” :s Now, can anyone explain to me what that means? I, being a dumb foriegn male, queried about how she planned to do this and I got back this. “You idiot, the kids will live in Canada.” To that I, again stupidly, asked “By themselves?” “Of course not you idiot WE will be with them.” Me: “But you said that you did not want to leave Taiwan.” Her: “I won’t.” My only guess is that she must think that she/we can be in two places at one time or she knows something that I don’t. :help:
[quote=“Surf”]
My wife just said “I do not want our children educated here or with this system. I want them educated in an open system like Canada.” Then she went on to say “I have my family here so I don’t want to move.” When I inquired about how she proposed to do both she just said “I can do it. I am Chinese.” :s Now, can anyone explain to me what that means? I, being a dumb foreign male, queried about how she planned to do this and I got back this. “You idiot, the kids will live in Canada.” To that I, again stupidly, asked “By themselves?” “Of course not you idiot WE will be with them.” Me: “But you said that you did not want to leave Taiwan.” Her: “I won’t.” My only guess is that she must think that she/we can be in two places at one time or she knows something that I don’t. :help:[/quote]
I hear this kind of self-contradictory stuff all the time from my gf. When I point it out I get a big round of, “You think too much” or some other vague dismissal. In my experience, it just means that both desires are equally important and she hasn’t figured out which one will win out when it comes time to make a choice.
[quote=“bob_honest”]My wife is one of those highly-intelligent, who knew everything they teach in school already in maths and stuff. Thus, she stopped listening to the teachers. Consequently, she skipped to learn about all those little facts of life, which make our life easier. Okay, her parents should teach that also, but TWN children education is usually done my grandma and she puts the kids in front of the tv with Japanese cartoons. So…
we went on 2 weeks vacation. She pulled the plug of the refridgerator, because she thought it is like TV.
This happened when she opened the fridge door on the first day afterwards…
She: “woooooaaaah, all the food is bad … green. What happened?”
[…]
Bobh: “…um…ever heard of bacterias ?”
She: “what?”
Bobh: “…they are germs …”
She: “I know you are German.”
Bobh: “… em … no … I mean they are small and nasty”
“… no, I don’t mean our nephew from upstairs!..”
I later described them as “tiny bugs”, so since then she cleans the fridge like crazy, as she probably thinks they will become those nasty 1" sized Taiwan bugs otherwise
To clarify: in my IT hardware job, I am learning from HER, as she is an engineer. She forgot which university or colleage that was, though [/quote]
Okay…Off topic on the wife thing, but it seems your wife shares a little something with a certain Australian rugby player (this then just to prove it’s not just Taiwanese). Stephen Larkham, plays flyhalf for the Australian rugby team, has a B degree in Physics (or Maths, I can’t remember), but apparently he doesn’t know how to use a washing machine when the team goes on tour… :loco:
[/quote]