And just where would you draw the line? 11? 12? I don’t think a 30-something guy (be it Taiwanese or foreigner) has any business being with a high school kid. They may look cute, sweet, and a lot of fun, but there’s a whole lot of emotional baggage and issues that a pubescent teenage boy is dealing with that I’m sure those “older” guys aren’t going to take responsibility for. Perhaps they think they just want some fun, but when they have a crying, “desperately in love” high school boy showing up on their doorstep every day (we’ve all seen the “psycho xiaojie” threads), whatcha gonna do? High school boys belong with other high school boys, learning about their sexuality and exploring together … not with 30-something men, regardless of their intentions. Physical sexual maturity doesn’t equal emotional maturity, especially in a culture with little to no sex education, and very few resources for young gay kids.
On another note, it’s true that “man-boy love” was acceptable in ancient China, up until the early 20th century (and in Japan as well). However, the society and times were different, and even then a lot of the “relations” in question were forced or bought (Matthew Sommers’ book on sex and crime in Qing dynasty China is an excellent resource, with lots of statistics and hundreds of specific cases).
And just where would you draw the line? 11? 12? I don’t think a 30-something guy (be it Taiwanese or foreigner) has any business being with a high school kid. They may look cute, sweet, and a lot of fun, but there’s a whole lot of emotional baggage and issues that a pubescent teenage boy is dealing with that I’m sure those “older” guys aren’t going to take responsibility for. Perhaps they think they just want some fun, but when they have a crying, “desperately in love” high school boy showing up on their doorstep every day (we’ve all seen the “psycho xiaojie” threads), whatcha gonna do? [/quote]
I agree. I have no idea what a 38 year old would want with a 16 year old. Well, actually I do know–a nice unspoiled body that constantly looks up to you. In my observations here these relationships seem to be more like implicit business arrangements–you worship me and let me do your nice, fresh body, and I’ll give you free English lessons and help you fill out your overseas school applications so you can get the heck off this island.
[quote=“LittleBuddhaTW”]
High school boys belong with other high school boys, learning about their sexuality and exploring together[/quote] :shock:
I agree too. Messy, messy, messy. On so many different levels.
[quote=“LittleBuddhaTW”][quote=“Flicka”]
High school boys belong with other high school boys, learning about their sexuality and exploring together[/quote] :shock:[/quote]
[quote]In the nation’s most far-reaching decision of its kind, Massachusetts’ highest court declared Tuesday that the state constitution guarantees gay couples the right to marry… In its 4-3 decision, the Supreme Judicial Court gave the Legislature six months to rewrite the state’s marriage laws for the benefit of gay couples.
Although courts in other states have issued similar rulings, some legal experts said this one goes further in its emphatic language and appears to suggest that gay couples should be offered nothing less than marriage itself - and not a lesser alternative such as civil unions, which are available in Vermont.
And just where would you draw the line? 11? 12? I don’t think a 30-something guy (be it Taiwanese or foreigner) has any business being with a high school kid. They may look cute, sweet, and a lot of fun, but there’s a whole lot of emotional baggage and issues that a pubescent teenage boy is dealing with that I’m sure those “older” guys aren’t going to take responsibility for.
On another note, it’s true that “man-boy love” was acceptable in ancient China, up until the early 20th century (and in Japan as well). However, the society and times were different, and even then a lot of the “relations” in question were forced or bought (Matthew Sommers’ book on sex and crime in Qing dynasty China is an excellent resource, with lots of statistics and hundreds of specific cases).[/quote]
Well in case you missed my earlier post – where I told you where I drew the line…I will repeat it again…at 21 years old…that’s my line.
Now back to your issues…how can you be ‘sure’ those ‘older’ guys aren’t going to take responsibility…are you pyschic???
And I haven’t heard anyone advocating ‘man-boy love’ on this forum…where did that come from? But for the sake of this argument, obvioiusly times haven’t changed as much as you think if it is still going on. Maybe it’s not acceptable to me or you but it must be to someone if you are seeing these guys in Taiwan (and it’s a fact they exist in every other country in the world).
And you still haven’t answered my earlier question…whose standards are you applying here…American (midwest conservative, SF straight liberal woman, Chicago black gay male, NYC 50-something draq queen…you get the idea), Asian (Thai, Japanese, Korean, etc.), European (same range as American)…
As I said earlier, I haven’t seen any boys in school uniforms hanging out with older gay men…of course I’m not pyschic so I wouldn’t know if they were gay or straight but I do know most Asians I have met look a hell of a lot younger than they are so I usually check someone’s age before I start dating them.
Once again, just for clarity…I draw the line at a verified 21 years old…but I also draw the line at being a guest in another country and judging the people. Actually, I pretty much draw the line at judging anyone anywhere but if I wanted to be an activist, I would go back to the U.S. – there is plenty of work to be done there.
In a moment a la Sally Field: They agree with me! They really agrees with me! How many of you are willing to admit you’re old enough to remember that?!?!?
But, back to reality… as I said, it is a question of maturity and, though maybe the high school boys are physically mature enough to “get it up” and “get it off” with a significantly older guy, they are most likely not mentally/emotionally mature enough to be in a relationship. Very few people, male or female, who are that young are going to be mature enough emotionally for that kind of relationship. Hell, many of them aren’t truly mature enough for a serious sexual/emotional relationship with someone of the same age, let alone an adult. But, at least there is a less chance of… shall we say… problems when the two people are the same age (i.e., in their teens).
The problem is, how and when do you become an “adult.” Unlike the onset of puberty, there are very few (physical) signs. The US says you have to turn 18 to be an adult. But, many countries say 16. How is that age chosen (rhetorical question)? Is it based on emotional maturity? I would think not. Is it physical maturity? Maybe. That might be why we can have a 35-year-old man who is physically (and legally) an adult, but emotionally still a 16 year old.
As we get older, I think age difference mean less, especially if they two people involved in the relationship are relatively mature, mentally. But, personally, I think anyone who is over 20 or older (especially significantly over 20) should not be in a relationship with somone 20 or under. And this is whether you are gay or straight.
So have we killed this thread yet? Is there really nothing gay left to talk about? Shall we move to something new? Or shall we just get our own private salon?
I say that from now on, anything Pink Martini Salon related should begin a new thread with the initials “PMS” at the beginning. ie:
PMS-Going Anybody?
(sorry. couldn’t resist.) Seriously, though, shall we branch out? I would like to see some sort of initials or something used to let me know which threads are gay related. I guess we could use (yawn) “LGTB–Anybody been to Going?” What do you think?
[quote=“scooter”]Dear moderator, please out a new thread and call it “Why can’t we have an LGBT forum?” (that would include all the posts after Two navels’ post at 12:35. All the Going related stuff should probably go with it. This pink martini is big enough to be considered a pink hot tub by now.
Thanks.[/quote]I’m trying to, I think it might have got too long already, I’ll keep trying. In the mean time, please make other threads, with meaningful names that everyone understands(unlike this one). One topic per thread please.Gay bars go in “Bars and restaurants”, Being gay in Taiwan goes in here, Gay health issues go in “Health in Taiwan” Gay Technology goes in “Technology” etc…
These last bits go in “Feedback”, I know… I might ask to Maoman to help if I still don’t have any luck.
Besides, it was said in another thread that you can’t ‘out’ any posts without their permission
How many of you are willing to admit you’re old enough to remember that?!?!?
