It has always been my policy to allow the students in my classes to bring whatever they want to class, providing it doesn’t become a distraction for them. As soon as I notice it has become a distraction, I take it, but it is always returned at the end of class. I treat all my students this way without distinction and there has never been a problem. Until now.
This girl, whom I shall simply refer to as L, has always been somewhat introverted. Recently, I removed her pencilcase as it was distracting her. About 5 minutes later she burst into tears, and there was a mighty wailing and a great gnashing of teeth. The CT saw to her while I continued with the lesson at hand.
After class, the CT went immediately to the laoban. They both came to me, and the CT said L told him she felt that I didn’t care about her and that I had treated her like a fool. It was suggested I talk with her. I told both of them I had treated her no differently than any other student, and that I would willingly speak if either would care to assume the role of interpreter.
My original thought about the whole incident was that kids will treat even the most trivial thing as if it were the end of the world, but will quickly forget about it and move on. No such luck. For the last two weeks L has come to school with a long face. She sits there like stone, head bowed, snivelling, tears running down her cheeks. Every day I expect to hear her mutter, “Ah me! The sun shall never rise again.” Like some Shakesperean tragic character.
The laoban has talked to her a few times. Twice it was arranged for the three of us to sit down and talk after class, but both times L quickly left.
I can’t help but wonder what’s going on in this poor girl’s life that she should act this way.
She’s acting up. Don’t feel sorry for her, kick her butt. (Not literally, of course.) At her age you can expect better behaviour from her than this. If she’s crying, send her to the washroom to clean up. Tell her to come back when she’s in control. If she isn’t/can’t, keep her out of the room. Also, make her sit up straight - none of this head bowed crap. If she doesn’t, make her stand. Tough love, baby.
I’ve had several students like this and have been successful in turning them around. Tough love is it. Usually they lack confidence and when you build it up they magically become like smart.
Explain clearly what you expect of her and why you took her pencil box away; feed her ego with positive candy and things should be ok.
I would just let it go. Give her some room. Hormones are a frightening thing, especially for today’s youth, whom have not much for a frame of reference except vapid commericals.
I usually give students like this a wide range of latitude. I also try & let them know that while I can’t really understand what they are going thru, I can help them keep their cool. Especially in this kultur with regard to face, and all that that entails.
I have let it go, but she hasn’t. This has been going on for two weeks. It can’t be allowed to continue. It’s a disruption in the classroom, which isn’t fair to her nor the other students.
Did you ever say you do care about her (as her teacher)? Maybe that’s what she needs to hear.
You can explain you are treating her “no differently”, but maybe that’s not what she wants. Maybe she wants you to show her that she is an individual and that you care about her as a person.
Once you’ve established that you do care you can explain your concerns about controlling the classroom and that education is your primary concern.
You’ve probably done this, but perhaps you haven’t been able to because of the language barrier. Don’t worry about the language. You can express care just using what English she knows and your facial and vocal expressions.
[quote=“Dr_Zoidberg”]This girl, whom I shall simply refer to as L, has always been somewhat introverted. Recently, I removed her pencilcase as it was distracting her. About 5 minutes later she burst into tears, and there was a mighty wailing and a great gnashing of teeth. The CT saw to her while I continued with the lesson at hand.
After class, the CT went immediately to the laoban. They both came to me, and the CT said L told him she felt that I didn’t care about her and that I had treated her like a fool. It was suggested I talk with her. I told both of them I had treated her no differently than any other student, and that I would willingly speak if either would care to assume the role of interpreter.
[/quote]
This girl has a long history you don’t know. Maybe her parents take stuff from her all the time. This act of taking away the pencilcase. What it means to her. What the pencilcase means to her. Who knows.
Whatever the case, it’s likely she feels much more isolation, rejection, pain, and abuse than the average Chinese kid.
Sad, education sucks everywhere in the world. It’s been bad for at least most of human history. But our race is young so I can’t expect much.
Sad that psychology has gone less than 1% of where it needs to go. And the average person knows less than 1% of where we have gone. Ah well, not anyone’s fault. History is at work.
Forced education is slavery. Work too. At least with work, some people like Bertrand Russell have said it.
[quote=“gary”]This girl has a long history you don’t know. Maybe her parents take stuff from her all the time. This act of taking away the pencilcase. What it means to her. What the pencilcase means to her. Who knows.
Whatever the case, it’s likely she feels much more isolation, rejection, pain, and abuse than the average Chinese kid.[/quote]
I don’t think there’s any necessity for these extrapolations. She’s a pubescent girl, which explains about 90% of her behaviour.
[quote=“Fortigurn”][quote=“gary”]This girl has a long history you don’t know. Maybe her parents take stuff from her all the time. This act of taking away the pencilcase. What it means to her. What the pencilcase means to her. Who knows.
Whatever the case, it’s likely she feels much more isolation, rejection, pain, and abuse than the average Chinese kid.[/quote]
I don’t think there’s any necessity for these extrapolations. She’s a pubescent girl, which explains about 90% of her behaviour.[/quote]
I see. And voila, the average persons understanding of what is personality.
Ive had the same problem without the taking away stuff. I just ask them a question about the lesson that she should and did know.
A minute later she was crying. I felt better when her friends were looking at her like ‘huh’. No one knew. A week later i asked her and she said she didnt know why either…she just felt like it.
