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Never marry a tennis player, love means nothing to them.
FML…someone stole my fav coffee cup. Now I have to go to the police station to look at mug shots.
Here is a Toe-riginal:
What is the most flexible car on the market?
The Mercedes Benz.
Make it stop @Toe_Save 
Sometimes silence is louder than words!
Not a stretch limo?
A buzzard was gonna fly south for the winter like he had done many times, but this time he decided to take a plane.
He put a few dead racoons, a dead squirrel and a dead possum in a sack and went to the Delta counter at the airport and asked for a ticket to Acapulco.
The clerk asked, “Would you like to check your baggage?” to which the buzzard replied,
“No thanks, its carrion.”
Give me your best flat tire puns.
There’s no pressure 
But it’s only flat at the bottom 
Two puns and I’m already tired of this
Someone actually got that published? 
