This is so 2021! 
Punchline: They outed themselves by asking for a free ride back to the airport. What kind of self respecting evil zillionaire would make such an amateur mistake? 
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This is… not 2021, but still a good cautionary tale. Hopefully, no-one will start an “inhale your jewelry challenge” viral video. 
A 41-year-old woman with a background of asthma was preparing for a party on New Year’s Eve when she developed a mild wheeze. Concerned her symptoms would develop and impact on festivities, she located her uncapped salbutamol inhaler in her handbag. Ignoring the coarse rattle as she shook it, she proceeded to take a deep inspiration. Instantly, she felt a painful scratch in her pharynx followed by a harsh cough, which persisted over the next few minutes and became associated with haemoptysis. She was taken to the accident and emergency department. Chest X-ray revealed a radiodense foreign body in the distal right main bronchus. During endoscopy, an earring, causing subtotal occlusion in the right lower lobe bronchus was found and extracted. Her observations remained within normal limits throughout. The importance of replacing caps on inhalers when not in use is illustrated and should be encouraged when inhaler technique is taught or reviewed.
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Too bad Subway is privately held. Otherwise we could unleash WSB on the company. For the tuna.
Say hello to your future overlords…
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I always knew spinach was better and more capable than people.
Please Romaine calm…
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I’m as cool as Iceberg lettuce.
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Don’t even get me started on the cucumbers…they’re having their way with people’s wives as we speak.
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I won’t get you started on the cucumbers if you don’t get me started on the eggplants.
Sad story. No drivers license, speeding.
Most in high school, 16-22 years of age. 
Very sad, indeed.
But I don’t think it’s a WTF story of the week…
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The WTF part is including the dog in the headline.
Not that dogs aren’t important and lovable, but not quite on same level as 6 human lives.
Important parts of the story are missing. One of the 16 year old girls had run away from home 10 days ago. Why? Because her parents did not approve of her 22 year old boyfriend. Seems like the parents were correct in their assessment of the dirtbag.
Also, the families will invariably sue the government for wrongful death due to the previously known problems with that stretch of road.
Forget about the speeding, forget about the driver being unlicensed and uninsured. It’s all the government’s fault and they deserve compensation for their losses. This is how it’ll end up playing out. Standby.
This is the part that is wack.
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Kind of strange the headline emphasizes the fitness instructor instead of a military coup.
More sensible and correct emphasis would be “Myanmar coup is unwittingly filmed by fitness instructor”
Courtesy of Mr. Repressed:
Tldtranslate: Woman stabs husband after discovering photos of his lover, then discovers photos were actually of her when she was younger. 
@mad_masala it’s not a satirical website, is it?
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