“I have this great move that I call “The Walrus”, where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing.”
The guy does at least have a sense of humour. As usual, he seems to be just trolling. I can’t believe the BBC actually ran that as a serious story. It’s more Babylon Bee material.
That’s it, I’m moving to Spain!
Wait, no…
Yikes
Yesterday, the news broke that millionnaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of a rape charge because the jury accepted that the teenage girl took Abdulaziz’s hands (which were covered in his semen), and forced one of his hands onto her vagina. It was also accepted that he may have tripped while his penis was hanging out of his boxers, and fell onto an 18 year old - possibly penetrating her in the process. And it was ruled that he was innocent of sexual assault.
Ehsan Abdulaziz: Tripped And Fell Rape Verdict | Marie Claire UK
This is why you should never walk around with hard, sharp objects like scissors or uh…
I hate when that happens.
Surely a scandal even back in those days!
If you laugh while reading this, does that mean you’re a horrible person? Asking for a friend. 
A warehouse employee who heard the crash alerted authorities. Firefighter Antonio Dusi said it took responding rescuers about 12 hours to find the man because they “had to move the cheeses and the shelves by hand,” Barron’s reported.
Yes.
Unless you are a space octopus.
Then you are a horrible space octopus.
Then it’s a good thing I’m not a space octo-pus! 
(I’ll leave it to your imagination how many tentacles I have, as well as whether or not I laughed at the cheese thing.)
I always laugh at cheesy jokes! 
“Congratulations! It’s twins.”
This week’s winner:
This one wins the year!
Jesus Christ. “Well, I’m afraid there’s been a slight complication. We seem to have, uh…decapitated your baby.”
Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with the family and all those impacted by this tragic event. Our prayers also remain with the dedicated team of physicians, nurses, and staff at Southern Regional Medical Center who cared for this patient. Our commitment is to provide compassionate, quality care to every single patient, and this loss is heartbreaking.
– Southern Regional Medical Center statement
. . . the couple claims the medical staff forbade them from holding the baby after he passed, showing them the infant firmly wrapped in a blanket with the head raised to hide the decapitation. The parents also assert in the lawsuit that staff members told them an autopsy wasn’t necessary and pressured them to cremate the remains.
Hospital also up for Cognitive Dissonance of the Year award.
Data from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows that Black newborns are three times more likely to die in hospitals than white newborns when treated by white doctors. The neonatal death rate among white patients under the care of white doctors is 290 per 100,000 births, while the Black infant mortality is 894. The data further notes a significant decrease in Black infant numbers when a Black physician is in charge.
