I know Tommy I read your posts 
.
Indoor cats are way safer and live healthier, longer lives. As long as they have you and a window, they will be fine.
Look who was brave enough to follow Ollie upstairs to get some food tonight
Too bad him and Ricky sleep outside as it gets around 7c at night these days while Ollie sleeps in our living room set to 22c
So funny Ollie took to his collar very well and last night when I took off his collar he was very concerned and wanted it back , kept reaching for it.
I decided to take off the bell that was on the collar which was nice as it allowed me to hear Ollie coming but I decided to take the bell off because Ollie leaves our house just at day break and we have had sightings of coyotes within a mile of us
When Ollie is on his way back to his hiding place which is a platform high above the bushes where we put his food he may be in danger of a coyote locking on to him due to his bell
We hope the coyotes donāt come into our complex but you never know
Ollies collar has our phone number on it
He liked his collar back although he seems to miss his bell
We put a bandana on him while he is in the house because whopper wears one often and he seemed to like it as well
Tammy went off to night school and said Ollie was at home, I came home just now from work and she had left the balcony open and Ollie jumped off the second floor balcony onto the top of the wall, about 3 feet below then made another jump bout 7 feet onto the grass. He has done it before. But usually doesnāt as he has become a bit too portly to fit through the gap that allows him to access the top of the wall .
Tammy says āoh well he can stay outside tonight if he wants (will be the first time in 2 months)ā I will see if he follows me home when i park my car" .
Meantimes āah-purr (whopper)ā does not seem to mind that Ollie is not here in the least bit.
edit: ricky and goldie followed tammy home for food. but now we need to go out and look for ollie. Hope he didnt get hurt jumping off the balcony. I told tammy to keep that thing closed from now on when we are not here. He wonāt jump when we are here.
wow accidentally came across this old thread. i guess an update is in order.
The three kittens are now cats and live in the Sunset and there is a lot of drama.
Ollie and Goldie had a falling out a few months ago and now Goldie will not leave the bedroom. Because if he does Olllie immediately attacks him. RIcky has an incurable leakage of fluid into her lungs and was supposed to have died a year ago but still hanging in there. The docs remain pessimistic long term about her remaining alive. But so far sheās doing well, just gets winded a bit after running but otherwise in no distress so she can still prove the docs wrong.
But Ollie and Goldie will not be able to live together anymore. Itās not fair to have Goldie restricted to the bedroom
Meantime, tammy and tommy are not doing well anymore as a couple and may part ways , we dont get along believe it or not , how can anyone not get along with tommy?? Mystery of the centuryā¦! Very sad but such is life. She is going to take Goldie and i will keep Ollie and Ricky (whopper passed away a few years ago).
And she will keep one of the Savannahs. Her friend has given away the other one to one of her friends who lives in the east bay and has a three story house and a Bengal cat. I do think its sad to separate the sisters.
But i cant get a word in with tammy. I suggested letting the two sisters go live with the Bengal . But shes insisting on keeping Miura. I think because she spends so much time out of the house she should just have one catā¦Goldie because Goldie is very placid and doesnt run around much . He basically sits around. And will be a good cat for people who are not home much.
Also Goldie is not very social he can be ok as a single cat in a single cat family as Whopper was.
The SF house has not been a happy one for our 3 cat family in the two years we have been here . We are being kicked out because the going rent is three times what we are paying and Bro needs the money now (he didnt before i guess).
The cats like the extra room but something about this house made enemies of ollie and goldie when back in the old house they were good buds.
Ricky got sick (or discovered to be sick) while in this house.
and tammy and tommy are not doing well. I think this old wooden home is not filled with good luck.
all sounds like a soap opera doesnt it? Lets have the Koreans make it into a drama. IM sure it will sell.
Sorry to hear. I hope things will improve with new digs. 
Sorry to hear that.
You got along for 10+ years; what changed?
Weird thing: Years ago, an acquaintance left me in charge of their acquaintanceās two indoor cats. Iām not a cat person even for one cat, but Iām especially not a two-cat person (and both of them were young and energeticāa nearly-grown mama, and a half-kitten which was still occasionally forcibly nursing from mamaāsort of āmilk-robbingā).
For a good while, I hated those two crittersā guts and resented the folks who I felt had snookered me into that deal. But the catsā behavior toward me went from fleeing in terror (all I did was growl and sort of āmonster-lumberā at them) to treating the whole thing as a comedy routine.
Those two stayed at my place a good while. In fact, when the earlier temporary caretaker finally came to take them away, the kitten had pretty much become an adult cat. As the cats were leaving, I remember thinking something like āgood riddance to bad rubbish.ā But I also sort of felt a tiny bit like crying.
Take care Tommy we are rooting for you.
Do you think itās because Tommy is hitting on young girls at the swimming pool and only stopping because heās āprobably as old as their dadā and no other reason?
Cāmon, thatās uncalled for.
People change and change changes people
I didnāt want to get into details at this time but since you asked I work very long hours and really had been neglecting her due to the work hours
This has led to her being unhappy and emotionally unfulfilled for a few years now
Unfortunately sheās the kind who keeps it all in and the volcano grows everyday while Tommy was oblivious to this
I thought things improved when we moved to the city and she found some girl coworkers to spend a lot of time with and I kept on working
And to be fair our cards were stacked against us from the beginning with our age gap and cultural differences I am frankly surprised we stayed married now past ten years and I had thought we got along. Not too badly
But people are people and people change as they grow older and have different t aspirations
The twenty something year old Tammy was happy with Tommy but now sheās a 30 something lady her aspirations and requirements have changed
Iām pedaling back in this period of my life and sheās on full
Power
So thereās less and less of a connection
Unhappiness leads to more unhappiness
One day she met a guy on her walks and they had a mental connection which later led to a physical connection
I came home early from work one day as I felt a little unwell six months ago and discovered a man taking a shower in my house
The affair was discovered
Tammy had thought a
Little affair didnāt hurt anyone
But affairs lead to divorce and thatās
What we are headed for
People should realize before having an affair that it almost always leads to divorce . Thatās the reason I have never had an affair because I knew this and didnāt want it to happen
The guy is closer to her age and is apparently a charmer
Supposedly divorced with two kids
I took a chance with Tammy knowing the cards were
Stacked against us but I had no other girls
In my life at the time and we had been net friends
For years so I accepted her proposal to consider marriage
I wanted to give her a better life and I think I did and even if we split up I did do that
Give her a better life ( at least many can say her life over the past ten years has been over all pretty good ).
I hope she found the right partner as sheās choosing to continue this affair
I never cheated in my first marriage nor did I in my second but I guess I pick the wrong girls or probably should not have married lol
Anyway the hurt takes time to deal with and change takes time to digest. Does this hurt ? Does a grenade going off in your face hurt? Was it expected ? No but not entirely surprised
But onwards to the future as the past is always the past the future unknown and make the present as good as possible
Her and I have been on different pages for years now the affair is a symptom of the malaise not the cause. I failed as her husband and she failed as my wife but sheās happy. The dumper is never the one sad.
But happiness should be our goal in life and she deserves happiness too
All is forgiven just need time to sort out the mechanicals
I had doubts going in and she had been the source of concern for me since day one
So if someone steps up to the plate and wants to take care of her that will set me free too
I am now at the age when my dad passed away and many people pass away . It has been a concern of mine what happens to her
Chief concern of mine actually. My dadās last wife had the same age gap and I watched her suffer when he passed away and I said to myself I am never going to want a wife 30 years younger but FATE was listening and he laughed at me. So having a wife 30 years younger had set me thinking from day one I needed to make sure she can survive in America without me as my dad made sure his could too at least economically .
I think I succeeded in getting her English up to scratch from not being able to put together more than a few sentences and the ability to work and she got her college degree
Only worry still was can she find a new partner and now we know she can !!
So really I have done a good job Not that she gets no credit . Credit where it is due as she didi the actual work but I was the architect .
I have a heart condition which may or may not affect my longevity but does give me a five times greater than the average guy of sudden mortality
So i have to keep this in mind
I want to die when itās time and not leave behind any person who will suffer from my passing nor any animals
I have spent many Sundays alone for years (I work Saturdays). So I need my own distractions to keep my sanity
This is an ongoing train wreck so more news will be available in due course
So sorry to hear about this. It sounds traumatic. Stay strong and optimistic and Iām sure youāll get through it with your trademark @tommy525 panache!
What me let a little thing like affairs and divorce get me down ?? Been through it once got my undergrad degree in run away wives now about to get my masters in the same subject
Like Gloria Gaynor sang. I WILL SURVIVE
Little after thought I need a person to blame so letās not blame Tommy letās blame
My first GF who was 21 when I was 17
And since then Iāve always like girls in their early twenties and most of my GFs I pretty much met when they were early twenties
Unfortunately as I get older this becomes
More and more inappropriate
But apparently I can only get girls in their twenties to talk to me as the older ones see through my shit
Even nowadays if I try to strike up a conversation with anyone in their 30s or 40s or older here in ahmerika I canāt get a complete sentence response from them
And only the twenty something girls will converse with me . They donāt mind I find them attractive after all they know they are young and they are hot so they expect it.
I failed as a human bean 
And I know I need to keep my distance because Iām not mick jagger or one of those Hollywood stars
Maybe I can get 30 something and 40 something ladies to talk to me in Taiwan ?
Older than that sorry Iām biased Iām fat
But I donāt get attracted
To fat chicks
Iām
Old and Iām not attracted to old ladies
Yes I failed as a human bean and continue to fail
Yes yes I do know how to spell BEING but HUMAN BEING sounds too formal I prefer
Human Bean
Dude, two things and Iām out of this threadā
Lawyer up now before you find yourself left with nothing. Read up on CA divorce laws. Youāre moving out? Good. Make sure she goes elsewhere-- NOT to your new place. Sheās been banging some guy for six months and living under your roof? Hell no.
Get a therapistā for the dad stuff and the divorce for starters, and then for your seriously appalling take on women and your relationship to them.
I rarely read your stuff anymore. Your follow up post is why. Good god, man-- the self-deprecating introspection is pathetic.
Thatās what everyone says I will lawyer up when needed
And I like to wear people out so donāt worry
There aināt no fast solution when a long one will do
And this is gonna be looong
I wear people
Out
Thatās my strategy
Donāt worry about my relationship to women
Itās working out fine
I just wonāt get married again
Marriage is outdated
Sounds like a pick up line to use in the pool when flirting with the ladies!
Whew reading that I need a psychoanalyst just to get through that paragraph
You do know self deprecating is the new passive aggressive ya?
Makes em think you may be one sandwhich from a picnic and that can help in your favor cuz it keeps em guessing what you gonna do
Keeping em guessing is an advantage