Top 10 expressions we foreigners no longer hear in Taipei:

  1. Children, go outside and play.
  2. Where’s grandma? I miss her.
  3. I want to be a policeman when I grow up.
  4. We need more Calgon!
  5. Do you like my tan?
  6. …and that’s the 2-second rule of driving…
  7. What a pretty view!
  8. There’s never a taxi when you want one.
  9. Who wants Chinese food?

…and the number 1 expression that we foreigners will no longer here in Taipei is…

  1. Rrrrrrrrrrrrroll down the window for some frrrresh air!

…(seriously) “top 10 lists” are not for open mics.

Birthdays?..Of course!
Sex shows?..Why not?

Open mics (like the one where you can win 1000nt cash which is starting at Bliss on August 31st at 10 pm)?..No way!

See another Top 10 List:

:bravo: funny shit mate, funny shit :bravo:

Try Maokong on a clear night like tonight. You’ll hear it!

Here’s something else you won’t hear around here:

“Which day is garbage day?”

I never heard one of the expressions.
Do i need to socialze more?

Better hurry up or you’ll miss the bus.

“I wish my mom babied me more…”

“I’m going to lie out in the sun for a while.”

“The skies are clear. I guess I won’t need my umbrella today.”

“Oops! My fault.”

“we better get in line”
“Lets take a walk”
“Children wait for the light to change”
“Please you first”
" Waiter, I dropped my fork may I have another"
" No problem they have plenty of parking"

I love you long, long time. :laughing:

Do you need a hand with that?

Have a nice day.

Thank you and please come back.

I’ll wait until you’re finished.

I understand and see what the manager can do.

Yes we have your shoe/dress/pants/shirt size.

“Do you know where I could find this at another store?” Oh certainly, I can find out for you…

I was glad to be of help.

Are you okay.

Do fries come with that shake, baby?!?!?

Can you spare a dime?

One thing I wish I’d hear is “Go ahead. I’ll wait till you walk past me before I move my scooter out of its parking space here on the sidewalk.”

I’m really sorry about that…

“Honey, wait until the people get off the train first.”

“Kids, staring is impolite.”

“Hey, some of my friends just happen to be black.”

“What a rude thing to ask!”

[holding up a finger, then swallows] “Sorry, my mouth was full of food.”

Pardon me, I didn’t mean to belch in your face.

Do you have a tissue?

Bless you.

Look here barista extraordinaire; I don’t give a shit about your view on U.S. foreign policy. All I want is my god damn tall latte without any lip. Can you handle that? :slight_smile:

LOL…15 minutes ago I stiff-armed a guy for this exact thing.
He was backing it out just as I was walking by and he looked right at me as he was doing it. He caught a stiff-arm right below his shoulder blade and gurgled a very weak…pai say…pai…say…:smiling_imp:

Take your time eating we have an hour for lunch

Could I ask you a personnal question?

What a well kept yard you have

Lets just sit outside in the garden

Children, pick it up we don’t throw garbage on the ground

What no homework?

I see you don’t have an up to date resume

I trust him

10 am? Ok I’ll be there 10 am sharp

it’s SNOWING!!! (I mean outside not in Hehuanshan…)



Something you won’t hear in Taiepi…

Im going down the social, think I can claim benefits for having Herpes. (Herpes being the name of her third son.)

you never hear Taiwanese parents say:

turn off the TV, dinner is ready