Try a little tenderness

Life Dating & Relationships
41

:slight_smile: Lots of interesting replies to this topic. A few random comments:

I talked to a friend yesterday, and he confirmed that I was ‘in a bit of a state’ when I had this conversation. It’s possible that I was a bit tired and emotional. If the girls were funking with me then they deserve to be ashamed of themselves for giving me such a hard time. I hope that if this happens again someone will make efforts to treat me a bit more kindly.

(For instance, you could reply with “How about if I give you a nice long blowjob, then you won’t want to kiss me anyway, so it won’t matter?”)

The lady in question has previously made it fairly clear that she doesn’t have a romantic interest in me, so her ‘invitation’ was almost definitely not serious. If I had thought it had been, and if I had been able to stand up unsupported, I may have given it less hypothetical weight and more actual consideration.

(Edit: D’uh, of course her interest is not romantic. That’s the whole point of the thread. I’m really not making much sense, am I?)

I like a nice impersonal rogering as much as the next person, possibly even more, but I was surprised at how enthusiastically the chorus of modern women shouted their demands for something they can (and apparently do) get without actually having to involve a man. Everyone needs orgasms. But everyone needs intimacy too, or at least I thought they did. All the best sex I’ve ever had has involved a degree of ‘surrender’, trust in the other person, and intimacy. This “OK, you have twenty minutes. Now get to work, sucker!” is a bit too business-like for my tastes.

It reminded me of an old sketch about someone who found out the hard way that Mr T was gay: “Now I want you to fuck me up the ass, give it to me real hard and don’t you go coming too fast or I’ll clench my buttocks and rip your cock off.”

But no problem, I have other friends. I guess I’ll just get my hugs and kisses from those that are less ‘urgent’, and make myself available to you-know-who-you-are the next time she needs it good and hard from behind. Babe, you have my number. All you have to do is call.

Hey, and a special note for all those smokers out there. Girls, cleaning your teeth, gargling with bleach, inviting me into the shower with you, it’s all a waste of time. When you smoke you draw nasty disgusting residue deep into your lungs and breathe it out again for hours after. You could wash your mouth out with bleach and a wire brush and it wouldn’t change the fact that your breath is foul. You may not notice it, but that’s because your sensory organs have been hardened to it by the abuse they’ve suffered. To the rest of us it is disgusting to have that carcinogenic blast ruin a good kiss.

But since you don’t want ‘loving’ I guess it doesn’t matter. I’ll just have to resign myself to being used as a sex object. (Sigh) This is presumably what we call ‘progress’?

42

I thought in the sketch Mr T. said "Hey Foo, you looking mighty-assed cute in 'dos jeans. Bend over and on the count of three – start fucking. Humala Humala Humala.

43

I thought in the sketch Mr T. said "Hey Foo, you looking mighty-assed cute in 'dos jeans. Bend over and on the count of three – start f***ing. Humala Humala Humala.[/quote]
Loretta was just translating it from Eddiebonics into the Queen’s English. Be gentle on her Chewy. She’s in the longest period of unrequited heat we’ve ever seen.

Hey, I smoke. My g/f hates it. Really hates it. Dumped me once because of it. I guess I must have other attributes that outweigh her complete distaste for my habit. She got over it.

Might I suggest “loretta” that you keep a packet of Air Waves Purple in your pocket. That way, when you wanna get busy, she could take the purple one and you could take your blue one.

Now, go get busy and don’t let a little thing like halitosis keep you from ending all this pestering of our boards with your endless whinging about not gittin’ any. You are getting as bad as the romanian/bulgarian guy whose been floundering about the last few days.

44

Hello everybody. My name is Richardm and it’s been two weeks since my last cigarette.

So kiss me you fool!

45

There are worse things than smelling like smoke:

[b]Something Doesn’t Smell Right About This Marriage

Wed Mar 2, 8:44 AM ET Reuters
[/b]

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian woman has requested a divorce from her husband on the grounds that he has not washed for more than a year.

“My husband says he does not like water and does not want to take a shower … He doesn’t even wash his face when he wakes up in the morning,” Mina, 36, was quoted as saying in court by the state-run Iran (news - web sites) newspaper.

When the couple first married eight years ago her husband was obsessively clean, she said.

“He spent hours taking showers three times a day and washed his hands every few minutes,” Mina said. “But he suddenly changed … Now nobody, including me, my children and his colleagues, can stand him.”

Divorce is a notoriously difficult process for women in Iran, who normally have to prove that their husband has neglected them financially or sexually, is a drug addict or physically abusive.

46

[quote=“Namahottie”]
Oh yea I saw that video, and think that Mini Me could have done a better job. He wasn’t doin anything special, but I guess if you say what is true for the local ladies, then I would think otherwise…
Loretta, you took yourself to seriously on this one. The ladies, like most of them have said here, were just messing with you. And like one poster put it, if you don’t like smokers,then don’t tell us straight out like you did. If you are verbally blunt but say you want romance, it seems a bit contradictory…[/quote]
Mini me?? … hehe

I remember the ladies in the office going ape over that video. They all thought he must be a magnificent lover simply for spending 45 minutes …

47

I like that one…I know you meant owned, but I think getting pawned is just as cool. Not only were you owned, but you just got dumped off in a sleazy shop for a few measly bucks. You are my hero now, Bee-Dub. :lovestruck:

You just got PWN3D.

48

And if you give head to a girl who smokes you can taste the nicotine.

It comes out of your body any way it can.

If I see a good looking girl and she lights up, I’m not interested.

I stay clear of smokers.

49

At the end of the day, I think Loretta just simply isn’t hard-up enough. And she also talks too much. :smiley:

50

Isn’t hard-up enough for what? To lower my standards? To shag people I don’t find attractive? To pretend to like people in order to get them into my bed? To put on an act designed to obtain sex by subterfuge? Two jerks and a squirt and then I don’t want to know you?

Like I said, there’s a shortage of romance in the world.

51

[quote=“Loretta”]Isn’t hard-up enough for what? To lower my standards? To shag people I don’t find attractive? To pretend to like people in order to get them into my bed? To put on an act designed to obtain sex by subterfuge? Two jerks and a squirt and then I don’t want to know you?

Like I said, there’s a shortage of romance in the world.[/quote]

How can you say that? With words like yours, I feel all swoony. Especially that last part. Makes me want to shag you.

Humina humina humina.

52

Just cut your hair Loretta. Spiff up a bit. You’re tall, thin. But the doo…brother, it’s got ta go!

Clearly you have a good sense of humor…as you appreciate mine…uh, right? :slight_smile:

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JD, I don’t want to shag you, or the gumper. He smokes, and you have appalling taste in hair. But thanks for the kind words.

I’ll be on the look out for your sense of humour. That’s what really turns a girl on.

54

[quote=“Loretta”]JD, I don’t want to shag you, or the gumper. He smokes, and you have appalling taste in hair. But thanks for the kind words.

I’ll be on the look out for your sense of humour. That’s what really turns a girl on.[/quote]

:taz: :wall: :flowers:

55

Hey! Tender! Where’s the tenderness?

Think about it man. Who what’s YOUR hair falling into her mouth? yuck…all frizzy and split ended?

MY hair?! You…you…you mock my hair?! :fume:

Never mock the hair!

That’s it, where’s Frost? I’m reporting you.

56

Full credit to Loretta for preferring romance and quality boning to quick rolls in the hay.

There are blokes who always seem to have a girlfriend, quickly getting a replacement should a relationship end, and there are other blokes who go without the evil pleasures of fornication for fair stretches of time. With my Zen-like mental composure and enlightment I fall into the latter category.

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[quote=“almas john”]Full credit to Loretta for preferring romance and quality boning to quick rolls in the hay.

There are blokes who always seem to have a girlfriend, quickly getting a replacement should a relationship end, and there are other blokes who go without the evil pleasures of fornication for fair stretches of time. With my Zen-like mental composure and enlightment I fall into the latter category.[/quote]

Are you suggesting that you and Loretta form a club? Sort of a “Boneless Meat Association”?

Oh , BTW “Quality boning?”…gosh, with romance like that…who needs a ONS? lol

58

I, for one, forbid Loretta to cut off her hair. It’s quite a lovely mane. It’s quite soft and perfumy.
From the back, she looks like quite a seductive girl swinging her hair like that.
From the front…er

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Yes, I do have a nice bum, don’t I?

I warmed the massage oil, btw.

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Ah, [url=http://tw.forumosa.com/t/who-is-that-girl/17779/1 prevails[/url]! A victory for the traditionalists, and a lesson for the clitorati - who showed up at the HH on Weds unaccompanied. :sunglasses: