Wassup with this girl - does she wanna be with me or not

Dear Agony Aunt…ha ha

I would appreciate a bitta guidance on this one. I should really know the answers - they’re staring me in the face, but I’ve lost my way a little here.

Have been interested in a local girl at work for about four months now, as has she been interested in me. She has a local boyfriend, they’ve been together a year, known each other for nine.

However she has sent all sorts of signals my way, indicating she fancies me - direct comments, shy smiles and giggles, little gifts. Pretty much everyone at work has said at one point or another that she likes me.

For the last couple of months we’ve texted each other up to 20 times in an evening, after we’ve knocked off work, chatting about this and that.

In the last month we’ve gone on a half-dozen dates and she invited me to her family’s new year eve dinner, met the parents etc etc.

We told another we like each other quite a lot, but not sure what to do next, as she has a bf.

Also, at work, she pretty much ignores me.

Am I being played for a fool. Best to walk away now? I think she’s either a great player or a confused woman. She keeps on harping on about how decisions should be made from the heart and not the head…

Cheers

Invite her over to dinner at your place
Seduce her
Hump her

They will ignore you at work so as not to be the target of gossip. Bf’s are extranious.

CYA and wear your latex leisure suit.
Okami

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Eat sushi off her bum. In other words, sack her womb! Make some horizontal love gravy.

Chewy

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Taiwanese girls aren’t supposed to openly flirt with foreigners in public (unless they’re in some meat-market bar or club). Don’t want to look like a slutty traitor to her race and lose face, y’know?

Get her alone.

Get her alone.

Get her alone.

You know - in private.

Let the fireworks begin!

um i concur with all of the above…she be wanting some hot love action or my names kevin phillips bong

confront her and tell her how you feel
be straight
no dicking around… unless… :sunglasses:

Um…I’ve been watching this kind of thing among my male friends in Taiwan for some years now, and usually this is what happens:

  1. Oh, but we’re really attracted to each other, she’s flirting with me, but she has a Taiwanese bf…

  2. OK, she’s going out with me and/or we’re engaged in various mutually pleasurable activities of a highly physical nature.

  3. Hurrah! She’s decided to break up with her Taiwanese bf. I am included in activities with the family, etc. etc.

  4. Oh sh*t, I thought she broke up with that guy. She didn’t tell him yet? C’mon!

  5. It’s been four months and she STILL hasn’t told her Taiwanese bf about us, plus she spends every [insert time] with him. What’s going on?

  6. She has just informed me via ICQ/text message/postcard that she won’t be seeing me anymore, she’s gotten engaged to the Taiwanese bf/her family has spoken/whatever.

As my mother often says, “If she will leave him for you, she’ll leave you for someone else.” Everyone wants to believe that s/he is so very special that it’s understandable that someone would break up with his/her bf/gf for them, which may well be true, but what happens when the next one comes along? Make very sure of what’s going on vis a vis the Taiwanese bf on this one. And remember that while CNY dinner might be a big one for Chinese, you’re foreign, so it COULD be big and it COULD just be “oh, the poor foreigner has nowhere to go and I kinda like him so I’ll invite him.” I wouldn’t buy the engagement cookies just yet.

Sorry to be so glum but I’ve watched my foreign male friends beat themselves up over women in similar situations so many times that the alarm bells just go off when I hear something like that.

And if you do succeed in netting the girl and making her well and truly yours, you’d better watch out for the Taiwanese boyfriend and his pals when they come after you with baseball bats or worse. Local lads tend not to take kindly to having “their” women lured out of their clutches, especially by interloping foreigners.

I had a similar experience with my current gf (the only Taiwanese girl I

ya sleeping with a girl from work… great idea…

but word life… she likes you, just have fun and enjoy the chase and the flirting… let her see you with other girls yano

Where - on Pluto? Man, that’s just Goofy… :laughing:

Where - on Pluto? Man, that’s just Goofy… :laughing:[/quote] er… uh… plutonic = platonic. :blush: :blush:

Once I went out with a girl who told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. I believed her, until the guy showed up with 3 friends and a knife. It turned out she was using me to make her boyfriend leave her (she tried, but he wouldn’t let go). BFs are hard to let go for Chinese girls, there are a lot of pressures. Imagine a nobel man/woman who marries for possition, then finds a true love and keeps a discrete afair. Sometimes that’s how it goes, only before they get married. She may want you just for fun and romance, but she may want you to liberate her.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I’ve heard it referred to as the 3x rule. I wish I’d known about this game-playing part of their culture before. I usually give up after one (or two at most) rejections, cause if you continue on pursuing after that it’s considered stalking back in my home culture. Here it seems like they don’t think you’re serious until you’ve asked her out half a dozen times.

:?: :?: :?:

Oh yes, we ladies just LOVE to be badgered into a relationship. :unamused:

Ironlady is 100% right.

Just consider the guy’s feelings. Do you want what happened to him to happen to you. There are plenty of single girls in Taiwan. It’s time to cut and run…

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[quote=“mod lang”][quote=“Danimal”]
After we started dating, I learned that she’s the type of girl who, as a matter of principle, has to say no to a guy 20 times before they start dating, even though she really means yes. (Is this common among Taiwanese women?)

[/quote]

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I’ve heard it referred to as the 3x rule. I wish I’d known about this game-playing part of their culture before. I usually give up after one (or two at most) rejections, cause if you continue on pursuing after that it’s considered stalking back in my home culture. Here it seems like they don’t think you’re serious until you’ve asked her out half a dozen times.

:?: :?: :?:[/quote] Ha!.. exactly. The first time I asked her out, she said she had to wash her hair (no kidding). In America, that’s a sure sign that she doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. No problem. I put it out of my mind, had completely forgotten about her. Three days later, she called me up and asked why I hadn

Thanx for the word, ladies and fellas…

Well, I decided to get a bit affirmative. The girl’s coming over for dinner this week, and we’re going to Kenting for the weekend.

Seems like thing’s are heading in the right direction.

Nonetheless, I’ve decided if she’s got a bf, I’m gonna hold onto to a couple of girls myself. Bit of a pig-headed way of doing things but it means not all my buns are in one oven, so to speak.

It’s her birthday on Friday, any suggestions for a gift (would chocolate body paint be a bit over the top?). BTW we haven’t, as yet, indulged in anything carnal. I can be a shy guy, from time to time (that all goes out the window after the 4th beer).

As for her bf coming over with a coupla mates and a baseball bat - words heeded. His daddy is a bamboo boy. I sure like to play with fire…

Peace y’all - I’m off to the prophylactic store…

[quote=“gregsoul”]As for her bf coming over with a coupla mates and a baseball bat - words heeded. His daddy is a bamboo boy. I sure like to play with fire…[/quote]Bamboo Union doesn’t mean BF or BF’s daddy is dangerous. He could just be a loser. (The gangs are full of them). You have to worry about how high up/connected he is, and how motivated he is. Strangely, losing a girl to a foreigner is sometimes easier for a local guy to stomach, since it suggests (to him and his buddies) that the girl probably wasn’t all there to begin with. It would be like the girl declaring her intention to be a Buddhist nun, or a lesbian. Okaaaaaay…

Another thing I have found in Taiwan is that many women will have a “default” BF - maybe there are no strong feelings there, but at least she’s got someone to take her out on the town (for free), and someone to take her to see movies.

When I first met the girl who is now my wife, I was immediately attracted, and of course asked if she had a BF. She said that she didn’t. (Now she claims to have never said that - I was a smitten male looking for even the smallest chance of an opportunity. Who ya gonna believe? :wink: ) Next time I met her, however she had BF in tow. I was pretty disappointed. Still, we managed to exchange phone numbers, and one day before our first “date” (working out at California Fitness), she called me to tell me that she had dumped him. She said that she had been planning on losing him for some time, and the proximity to our first date was just a coincidence. If I want to puff up my ego, I tell myself the version I prefer. :sunglasses:

Date the girl, and have fun. Sounds like she’s definitely interested in you. But keep an eye out for the BF, just in case. :wink:

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