If the guy you’ve been doing for three weeks suddenly asks you when you would start thinking about moving in together, what does he want?
Me=
Predator? You’ve so overwhelmed him with your sexual and intellectual power that he can not stand to be separated from you for even one nanosecond? Just remember to gag him next time. No weird questions.
Prey? His ex is probably in the process of kicking him out, his daddy doesn’t love him, he has no money, and sees you as a kind of sugarmommy who’s going to take care of his sorry ass. Run, run for your life!
I would be asking to move in so that I could lounge around the house all day in my tighty-whiteys, eating microwavable meals, watch tv, and to mooch as much of your hard earned cash as possible from you. I would also want you to do the dishes, clean the house and get rid of those mysterious marks on my underwear. I’d also like a beer and BJ as I watch Six Feet Under.
Maybe he has mommy issues? I just hope he doesn’t use the L-word, considering your phobia against it. If he does the dishes, takes out the trash and gives great massages, then consider marriage instead.
I’d try to determine division of labor and responsibilities before moving in, just like you would with any roommates. Make sure he has steady income. Violations of agreement should result in some sort of pre-determined course–move out for example. That way, you are neither predator nor prey.
Just ask if he is going to keep the lease on his old place when he first moves in with you. Seems just too sudden if he doesn’t even keep a place to store is crap before moving in with you.
Don’t say that, Okami! I’ve been stressing because he’s quite a bit younger than I am.
I just phoned him and he said that since I don’t really want to move in with him (told him on the phone!), he’s considering moving to Taipei. He lives in Keelung now.
This is too much for me!
But he’s so damn cute.
And he said “I love you.”, but in Chinese, so I pretended that I didn’t hear/understand it.
I don’t think that anybody could honestly say that they loved you after only 3 weeks so I’m completely suspicious of his motives now.
He just ruined a perfectly good relationship.
So, should I take braxtonhicks’ advice and run? Or should I wait and hope that he snaps out of it?
. And he said “I love you.”, but in Chinese, so I pretended that I didn’t hear/understand it.
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GIRL IS YOU CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY?/??? Send him overhere to me. I ain’t heard those words in I don’t know when…Girl, let him “stay” for a week, play house. If it work, then jump for it. Life is short, spend it lovin someone.
[quote=“twonavels”]And he said “I love you.”, but in Chinese, so I pretended that I didn’t hear/understand it.
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If he’s Taiwanese this is a bit abnormal.
He should have been telling you he loved you after the first week.
Seriously, he may be thinking that because you are having sex, you want some sort of commitment. Just tell him in clear terms that you’re interested mainly in the sex. He’ll probably be quite happy about that, after he’s had a chance to think on it.
Twonavels, you are certainly a “guy’s guy,” aren’t you ?
From my experience younger people tend to get more overwhelmed when they meet someone they like. I wouldn’t regard the motives as suspicious, but I definitely think three weeks is far too early to have someone move in. Three months is generally better. If you only want him for sex and there is not much more to the relationship than that (Personally I get bored with people that don’t stimulate me intellectually) then I would suggest letting him move in is a bad idea. Great sex with people can be ruined by routine and having someone always there…
I don’t know about this culture, but anyone who thinks they have fallen in love and are ready to cohabitate in just three weeks (or move to a different city to be closer) sounds wa-ay too scary to me. Lord knows I’m not a love advisor by any means (if I were, I wouldn’t be in the state, or lack thereof, that I’m in), but I would say “Let’s get to know each other better first”. If he insists, perhaps there’s some codependency thing going on…
Hey, its not like he is moving from “Faraway” to “yourplace”.
Some of us (me!) met our wife(s) just for a couple of days “abroad”, we kept contact, did what ever necessary just to get together, be together again, and that is now more than 11 years in Taiwan for me.
Make it romatic, make it special and make it clear that he is an equal partner with all the pros and cons coming with it. If he can’t live up to you in the long run…
-If you don’t try you’ll never now. Live to regret nothing!
Perhaps it would be prudent to let him discover you en flagrante with someone else on his arrival in Taipei. Let’s have a forumosa poll to determine which of us gets to rescue you!
But seriously, three weeks? Usually only lesbians move in together that fast. I’d put my foot down if I were you.
So I told him I don’t want to move in together and he says we should discuss it this weekend. He is staying for the weekend, which is really cool.
But he pitched up with a bag; not with clothes, but with all kinds of goodies. My room now has a new Slipknot poster, a drawing of Freddy vs. Jason, and a green glow-in-the-dark Leatherface mask that hangs right above my bed.
Oh yes, and a Crow doll.
Yeah, I think I need that poll.
But then, he’s so damn cuuuute…
So are small mammals, I still consider them lunch.
Enjoy it for the time being, but just don’t get overwhelmed. You might actually say, “wo ai ni” yourself. So do be careful, for I will harrass you mercilessly if I find out you said that to him.
I have been dating the same guy for a year now. We’ve never discussed his moving in. I think anything short of a year is premature. But then again, maybe I am wrong.
Have him rent his own apartment in the same building or one nearby. Then you’ll have him on tap whenever you need him, and can buzz off back to your own place or send him away at any time of day or night if and when you feel the need to be by yourself.
I’d also like a beer and BJ as I watch Six Feet Under. 
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