Your wolf like eyes, a greenish brown, fix me through the long tufts of grass. You raise your tail, I sniff your arse, you bound high, leaping and landing, leaping and landing, I bark, just once, then we run in a circle, you first, I follow, you first, I follow. Now it’s my turn.
There is a book published about funny personal ads.
Here is an example:
Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
Intelligent woman with great leg
al mind for conversation, outing
s and a love of extreme intense anal
ysis. You should live close to Es-
sex. I shall give you heaps of fuc
-hsias, lillies and treat you like a Queen. I will be your
king and will fill your warm tender
heart with joy and laughter.Send me your post
box. Alternately, if you want more discus-
sion. You can call me to chat about more exci-
ting stuff, I 'm all ears. Looking forward to hearing from you!
Please read lines 1, 3 5 7 9 11 only!
Remember that summer you spent with your parents in Hawaii and how mad you were that they made you go? And how you were hopelessly bored until you saw the most gorgeous man you’d ever encountered strolling down the beach looking at you, skillfully removing your skimpy bikini with his piercing eyes? And how you spent the last month imagining him taking you in every possible way, masturbating feverishly day and night, wishing he would reappear, but he never did because you were 15 and he would have gone to jail? That was me, and you just turned 18.