One terrible thing my lawyer said is if she was to have a child with someone else, it would be my child and I would have to pay to support it. If I wanted to sue her, I have to sue her and sue the baby… Wtf?
Also can’t help but feel I’m getting screwed a little. It’s been explained to me that sending a court notice is like spitting in her families face and giving them the finger (obviously not in those exact words). It’s expected they will retaliate. I asked my lawyer if she could help me compose a message to them that was diplomatic and might encourage them to agree to a peaceful solution but she said laf only is letting her go to court. Anyone know who I can go to to help me with this? Or do I really have no choice but a long bloody battle that I most likely can’t stay long enough to finish?
Did you ask her whether you should reply to the mail?
Did she say it is ok you send a reply by yourself?
The wife’s family would just ignore any mails as they have need doing, unless you propose to pay a big money. just my guess.
She said I could but she can’t help me with that because she was instructed by laf to only deal with the court (in other words she’s not getting paid for that)
Assuming your spouse reappears and does decide to make your life difficult in court, it would be worth finding a way to make her understand that if she forces you into leaving, you’ll be able to unilaterally get a divorce in the US and move on with your life much faster than her, because she’ll be hampered by the same stupid laws that have had you stuck for years. It would be much better for her if she sets herself free by simply signing the divorce agreement.
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How to do that exactly. I’m shocked that even the lawyers here know nothing of this.
If you see her, maybe you’ll be able to tell her. If her family is sharing your email with her, maybe you could point out in a carefully written message how sad you’ll be if you’re forced to head “home” and just simply get a divorce there where one can’t contest a divorce. Make sure they know that the US judgment will set you free but she’ll still be trapped as a “married” woman because Taiwan might not even recognize the divorce and since you have no contact with her how can you even serve her with papers?
if you are willing to pay, the lawyer introduced by Hsinchu laf would be good, because she already knew the background of the case.
If not, you can get a free legal counseling at laf, city government, or immigrants center, etc.
I think it is better you at least get an opinion or advice from a lawyer, before sending any reply.
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I have mentioned this before and they simply said that America wouldn’t let me. I’m guessing their lawyer told them despite not having a clue what he/she was talking about. The lawyer I met today also seemed clueless about this.
Actually I was more hoping a lawyer could help me to compose it. It would probably work a lot better than my efforts. Could I just ask my hsinchu lawyer to do that?
Either they’re really that ignorant or they’re actually trying to bullshit you. It might still be worth pushing the point. I’d tell them that you’re trying to what’s best for their daughter before you leave the country and just get it done by yourself in the states, leaving her in limbo here.
Does anyone have anything in Chinese (website) that points out that I can do this? It might help when I try to show them.
You mean my wife’s family or the lawyer I talked to (or both)?
The family. The lawyer’s job isn’t to get you divorced in the states.
The family think they can string you along and you’ll still be unable to get divorced in the states. You need to make them understand that you don’t need permission from the other party to get divorced in the states and that all the email from them over the years is proof enough for a US court to grant you a divorce. You’ll be able to set yourself free while their daughter will still be stuck in a Taiwanese marriage until she waits long enough to prove abandonment - which will be much harder now that you’ve gone to court first.
She should just sign the paperwork, avoid the court case, and set herself free first. Of course, you hope she will do this for her own sake because you have only her best interests at heart and that’s why you’re going to court now.
Manipulate these people the way they’ve been manipulating you for the last four years.
(Sorry if this is repetitive or not entirely coherent. I’m on a phone and it’s late where I am now).
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I would absolutely love to do this and I have tried with little to no success. My Chinese isn’t that great and I seem to fail at convincing them. If I could find a source in Mandarin explaining this as proof, that would be a life saver.
Amazing! This is golden. Let me check it out. Thank you so much.
But does this say a marriage in Taiwan can be terminated in USA? I didn’t see any part mentioning that but my mandarin isn’t great either. Especially reading.
All proper legal procedures require a wood chop with your name because of tradition. No biggie. Heck, it used to be no one accepted your signature, banks or post office, it was all chop chop. And heaven forbid you brought a new one, not the one you had used before. 
Times change for the better.
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I think so. You can ask her what is the cost. Or, you can ask to your current lawyer whether she can do it as a separate case if you pay for it by yourself.