What's the Point of Lap Dances?

An anecdote from my fascinating life:

Quite a few years ago, I was mates with a Taiwanese gangster. He was a nice bloke, had spent seven years in America (admittedly, most of them in prison), and could speak excellent English.
During the football World Cup in 2006, I would take him to my favorite pub ( a cool, underground place run by a Macedonian), to watch the games.
When my birthday rolled around, he had a guan xi moment, and called me up.
“Hey, jimi! I have a surprise birthday gift for you!”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Meet me at my place at seven.”
He lived in Yong He, so I took the 30-minute taxi there.
Dude’s put on his best clothes, and has a 1 liter bottle of Johnny Walker Blue in his hand.
“Tonight we’re going to party!”
I’m like “fuck, yeah!”
We get into a taxi and end up at a KTV joint.
I’m thinking "Yeah, okay. Not what I had in mind, but I do enjoy singing KTV as long as I’m not with a crowd of Taiwanese who enjoy those maudlin Mando-pop songs.
We’re in our little lounge, pumping in songs, chugging down the Scotch, and he makes a call on the in-house phone.
"Here comes your birthday gift!’, he says.
Through the door comes this really gorgeous woman, wearing nothing but a g-string and high heels.
Now, at the time, I didn’t have a girlfriend, and was horny as hell.
“Jumping Jesus on a crutch! This is the best birthday gift EVER!”
She takes my arms and places them firmly on the outside of my legs.
“You no touch!”
Then she starts rubbing my groin with her butt. Turns around and slaps her tits against my face. After about 15 minutes of this, she gets up and leaves.
So I say to my buddy “So where must I go to shag her?”
He looks astonished.
“No no no. This isn’t that type of place. It’s high-class”

I don’t want to say anything, because this was apparently a wonderful birthday gift, but I’m thinking “Seriously? What’s the point?”

Hence the title. I really don’t understand why men would pay women relatively large sums of money to make them frustrated. :thinking:

10 Likes

Point of lap dances with no happy ending?
Blue balls perhaps :idunno:

1 Like

I feel awkward when getting a lap dance. Idk what to do with my hands and where to look. It feels weird to make eye contact. And what do I do with my hands if I can’t touch?

I mostly go to these places to enjoy it with my friends acting stupid and getting drunk. Usually some drugs get involved as well as one of the strippers always sells stuff. Depending on the club and girl, they probably will do extra for the right price.

None of that sounds all that appealing to me anymore though.

Some folks are into sadistic behavior but afraid to admit it? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Or maybe it’s a Catholic upbringing.

1 Like

Cool story bro. :grin: That’s a good mate all the same.

3 Likes

:joy::joy::joy:

2 Likes

I honestly go to help the single mothers. It warms my heart to know those dollar bills I put in her g string will put food on the table for her kids. Or possibly feed her coke habit.

2 Likes

I would prefer to spend the money on a Michelin star restaurant or something. I love food more than any other pleasure in life.

I like licking fresh cream off them as well.

I had two long-term girlfriends who did stripping and lap dances (unbelievably, I used to be good-looking and relatively famous and attracted really hot women). :crazy_face: Understandably, I wasn’t particularly happy about their career choice, but the money was so good.
They would only work at night, and come home with R3000-R5000, which was a shitload of money at the time. More than my band would make in a month. Just one night would pay the rent and utilities for a month. The rest was party money.
They were both single mothers.

3 Likes

That’s gross.

What a way to live.

I dated a stripper once for about 2 weeks in my early 20s. Got scared off because she had a kid. She was nice and down to Earth though. This was 14 years ago so she’s probably not a stripper anymore. Any job with a built-in expiration date can be tough. Hope she’s doing okay.

Affection isn’t very validating when you’re paying for it.

Some people just like physical contact. It isn’t emotional. Now of course they get blue balls after because there’s no sex in the champagne room, but most people who go to strip clubs are drunk and aren’t thinking that far ahead.

image

1 Like

Strippers in general. My friends would ask me to go to a pub with strippers, and I’d say “let’s go someplace with a band and girls you can actually dance with”. As Bill Cosby used to say “when I’m hungry I don’t want to go out and look at a steak”.
(Turns out he was a little heavy on the spices.)

2 Likes

You gonna qoute Pill Bill Cosby? About sexual relations with women? :thinking::thinking::joy::joy::joy:

5 Likes

See following statement.

1 Like

It has to be a hard lifestyle to break or get out of. What will they do that pays nearly as much with no other skills?

1 Like