Jacked-up lifters not really the aesthetic TW women go for. So all this lifiting advice probably more fit for some US demographics.
But, yes agree that you need to project an active lifestyle, be doing stuff, having real interests other than shopping and sleeping. Which is not hard, with some many TW men AND women having rather boring lifestyles.
Stop looking and let them find you ā¦look for subtle signs of interest around you
Or look online most of us have too small social circles and we may not find a partner in our orbit
Gotta look outside the solar system so to speak
Who is TL? That makes three wankers you say?
Ah well we all have handicaps of one sort or another
His is not being in the USA
Mine is not being in Taiwan
(Plus I have another huge handicap to dating now ā¦.Iām married). And itās overall quite nice to be married to my wife
Plus I think TL interest is in men therefore
he may actually find more solace in the ladies
Forum ?
Overall the shape your wallet is in is more
Important than your own shape to most tw ladies
Maybe most ladies in general
Most girls have guys for fwb fun and another tpye of guys who sponsors them. Up to you in which group you want to be
I can swing both ways but honestly Iām finding men more emotionally attractive.
Most women I find out there are very boring, especially Taiwanese ones. Plus they seem to be control freaks (not all, but seems like a common thread among foreign men here). Iām sure Western women are like this too but honestly apart from looks I found it very hard to emotionally confide with most women for some reason. Perhaps because I have a sister who was a terrible control freak when I lived with her and it made me think most women are like that.
Problem is itās very hard for me to tell whoās gay or even swings both way, and most men in Taiwan are boring too, and 99% of foreign men here are not gay.
I think the major problem for me is being unable to find anything in common with 99.999% of the people both in Taiwan and in the US, but at least in the US there are the 0.001% who are relatively easy to find. In fact itās not hard to find sexual partners in the US for me but in Taiwan itās downright impossible. Taiwan is huge on conformity and so being āweirdā basically gets you excluded by the āleaderā of the pack. And Taiwanese people have a pack mentality.
I guess Iāve come to realize that many women uses sex as a weapon to force compliance out of men, and I refuse to give them that power.
I heard that joke many years ago on the radio, but it was only 5 years and it was the difference between a new job and a new wife. 
I would say most women in general, but of course everyone is unique. Success at what you do and confidence in how you carry yourself are a lot more attractive than looks.
I feel you man, but the issue is that most people are non-confrontational. They would rather die than tell you to your face that you have body odor problems or halitosis. Let alone something as abstract as āoverall demeanorā. It is often due to the fact that people (and iām not saying you, because I do not know you at all) that usually seek that advice (that I usually more than happily offer once I get to befriend the person) go insanely on the defensive, as if they werenāt the one asking for feedback in the first place. And I totally understand that. One of my closer relatives does that all the time to me, to which iām actually quite thankful, but it will always be as grating as the first time they did.
And you donāt even need to be an a-hole about it. You just need to look like the criticism youāve been given hurt you. Because people donāt wanna hurt people. It sucks to see someone blush in shame because they had that salad stuck in their mouth since lunch time but youāre the only one who pointed it out after a full day of work. So you donāt point it out and pretend itās alright. Which perpetuates the vicious cycle.
Maybe if you openly show to whatever friends you have that youāre not only open for criticism but will actually take it in a positive way, maybe that will help.
Sometimes (actually most of the time, but Iām guessing you donāt see it because most folks constantly act hostile with you so you assume something is wrong with you when itās not the case)people are just asses. They donāt want to hear your story, theyāre just here to borrow a ciggie (yet never happen to have one on them in a country where the packet costs 5 goddamn bucks), they donāt want to talk to you because of reasons as stupid as racism or they just donāt like your face. You canāt do anything about those people and neither should you. But Iām sure you have one or two pals, focus on them rather.
I think if you start with working on making one person like you you can work on more
That one person is you
You have to like you first
Work on that first
Lift yourself up rather than down
Take yourself out and feel good to be you
I was the opposite I thought I was the best thing since sliced bread
Gradually realized I aināt shit but I aināt the best at everything lol
Itās ok I still like me and you have to like you
Work on that
And honestly itās not that hard you donāt need to have six billion people or is that 8 billion now like you
Just the people who matter
And if they donāt like you
They donāt matter
Anytime someone asks about meeting a gf/bf, people talk about how you have to like yourself first, have hobbies, etc etc.
. It only attracts the ladies if you flaunt it, and then itās the wrong type of ladiesYet Iāve been actively trying to date for 4 years and have come up empty.
But I know I have weaknesses as well:
Not speaking the language is a major hurdle in Taiwan unless you are in school either teaching or a student where at least many around you can speak your language
I believe that real world meeting people will help you get more data and process data faster
Hope
I explain this right
Online you have to type usually to chat and that takes a lot of time and the info that you receive and put out is like using Morse code from
Ship to ship
While you continue to figure each other out online
And it literally can take years to be acquainted with each other at a more meaningful level
Whereas in person you receive a lot of data
About a person quickly at least physically
So first you both have to click physically and break the ice and talk
But a lot of data about the two of you can be exchanged not just in what you say but how you say it and body language
If this conversation keeps going the chances of it becoming more meaningful quickly is possible
Much harder to get to this same level of mutual understanding online as quicky
So you have to get out there and meet people in real life
If I was meeting someone online Iād likke to take it to the real world quickly if possible
Not possible if the person is far away though
You have actively tried to date for four years and have come up empty
this can happen for many reasons
There are many factors
Anyone of these or more could be the reason
You are among the wrong demographic
The people around you are not your peers either in age or ethnicity
You may be surrounded by people that wouldnāt easily choose to date you because of age difference or you are not a preferred ethnicity to that group
So age and ethnicity could be at play here
Or another reason may be you are not really trying
You are not putting out vibes that show you are open to approach and you also do not approach people enough or at all
You expect the ideal someone to just come and talk to you.
This is unrealistic
Body language is important and how you carry yourself snd dress . your appearance and posture can say a lot about whether you are approachable and whether you are worth approaching
Or you are just fishing at the wrong spots
I donāt approach strangers randomly.
Iām kinda socially awkward when thereās not some sort of established understanding that weāre gathering with the intent to meet people. Whether an arranged date from online or a social event like a Meetup
I do have higher standards than most guys I know
Online dating sucks but
Been on quite a few first dates, met some girls interested in me, but I didnāt feel the same way
Thereās been a couple I did like and seem to click with, but then they flaked / werenāt interested
As they say if you keep doing something one way itās not realistic to expect different results without something changing
Trying to help here .
You took online girls to real life fast but either they were not physically attracted to you or you to them
Not just physically but you didnāt vibe
And this may be you didnāt have a strong enough connection personality wise to overcome the lack of physical attraction before meeting
So you met too soon without the emotional connection firmly established
And you wonāt approach women out in the wild
I can say for sure that the ladies I approached in the wild would not have approached me if I didnāt approach them so that would have been a lost opportunity
If you donāt want to approach them you can only rely on being approached
This can happen but we are still in a society where men are expected to approach more so than women
At least in Taiwan
I actually had a beautiful girl approach me the other day, but I was hours from home, so it didnāt really matter. And thatās super rare.
With online dating, you canāt really build much attraction before meeting because most girls have too many messages and just donāt bother communicating worth a damn. So you have to ask them out fairly quick before they end up ghosting. And they put almost no effort into the conversation from their side.
But yeah I have tried different things, so as not to keep doing the same and expect different results. Previously I lived in a small town, had never dated ever, moved to a large city in the US, and had a gf within a few months. Met online, before online was as crappy as it is now.
After we broke up, I tried online again, then lots of social events (Meetup), then speed dating quite a few times, then sports leagues, then finally moving halfway around the world. Not all in the name of finding a gf of course - just enjoying my life - but that also came to mind.
I agree, not sure how much online dating Tommy has done in Taiwan lately, but I prefer to get them to meet ASAP for a variety of reasons including the ones you mentioned