Where to meet a girlfriend?

Yes! Jeeze! Don’t blame the environment for your own weak-mindedness. If you feel that way, how can you even consider getting married?

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Here’s a question to challenge you guys:
Imagine you’re an ABC new to Taiwan, staying in Zhongli Taoyuan (maybe not that many English-speakers around compared to Taipei), still trying to learn Mandarin (TOCFL novice level / HSK Lv.1), and Meetup.com is a no-go for you (since there’s nothing going on in Hsinchu that’s interesting & you’re just lazy to spend 2-hr+ roundtrip on a train to Taipei).
If you found a hot Taiwanese chick sitting alone at a table in Louisa Cafe seemingly focused reading/working on her laptop, how would you approach her?
Would you:
A. crash at her table and say “You’re interesting. Can I sit?” in English?
B. crash at her table and say “You’re interesting. Can I sit?” in broken chinese?
C. sit somewhere nearby & try to make eye-contact with her to signal an approach?
D. screw it, just go Taipei for meetup events.
E. <place your idea here. maybe you already had/had seen experiences like that before>

You don’t. Alone doesn’t necessarily mean single.

Lame

Lame

Lame

Maybe

I’d rather just focus on my own hobbies by joining a club and maybe meet someone with similar interests. You’ll have more to talk about than trying to force a relationship to happen if you’ve got nothing in common. Focusing only on outer appearances is a sure-fire way to end up in a bad relationship and leaving you jaded.

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A, B, and C would make you look like a weirdo. A coffee shop isn’t the right kind of place for that, especially when the girl is minding her own business working. C might be acceptable in a bar on a Friday night, but A and B would be a mistake anywhere.

D seems perfectly fine to me.

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Maybe find cute staff working and chat? I have done that and as result making a new friend.

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If she’s reading a book that you’ve read or are familiar with, you could try using that as a conversation starter. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re reading Fifty Shades of Grey…”

I don’t agree with the others who say that an approach is inherently lame or makes you look like a weirdo. Yes, the bar for approaching women here out of the blue in such environments is probably higher than in many other countries because of the culture, but it’s all situational. If you’re confident, calm, don’t have expectations, and are prepared to have a real conversation if your approach is successful, I don’t think you should overthink making an attempt. What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Of course, it might also help if you’re a regular at the coffee shop and consider such an approach with a woman you’ve seen before as perhaps she’ll have noticed you before too.

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Dude, he’s talking about trying to start a conversation, not proposing marriage. While cold approaches at a coffee shop almost certainly aren’t the best way to meet women in Taiwan, I think it’s a bit silly to avoid an attempt to start a conversation in an appropriate situation on the basis that the other person might not be single and your initial interest is sparked by their looks.

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Approach with a pen and paper in a confident manner.
Hi, excuse me, do you speak English?
A little.
I am doing some research on dating and wonder if I could ask you a few questions?
If she says no, be polite, say goodbye and leave the place.
If she says yes, ask if you can sit, ask some questions and make her laugh. A few minutes later ask for her number and if you get it, leave within 30 seconds. If you don’t or she says give me your number be polite, say goodbye and leave the place.

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Just no. This is the type of thing you’d expect from a wannabe/entry-level pickup artist. Very unlikely to go over well in Taiwan unless you’re the type of guy who doesn’t need to use an approach like this in the first place.

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Do the napkin strategy.
It’s just gotta work for someone.

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As a non local, sometimes it’s works to your advantage. Even though I have been here a long time (years at 60% of the year here), many people ask where I am from after a simple question in Chinese (I am mix Asian with Western roots non Taiwanese). As always, some do not care or want to bothered but a light question or comment is good and polite way to see any interest in yourself as directness is not so much the culture here.

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With one tiny exception: if her table is the only one with an empty seat. You can then consider to ask “Can I sit?” Don’t preface with “You’re interesting” because that sounds lame.

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And what qualifies that as an appropriate situation? She’s minding her own business. It’s rude to invade someone’s personal space, especially now with the coronavirus situation where strangers are expected to respect the 1.5m social distance. If I was the person, and there are bunch of empty tables and the person asks if he can sit with me, I’d think “WTF? Go sit at your own fucking table. Don’t bother me. Can’t you see I’m busy?”

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Has anyone else experienced the queue cut-in while observing distancing yet?

EDIT: possibly wrong thread. Although it could result in a date with a woman of a certain age.

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Yes. It sucks. But hey, that’s probably cause they are too thick to get it.

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I gave an example in my original comment:

If she’s reading a book that you’ve read or are familiar with, you could try using that as a conversation starter. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re reading Fifty Shades of Grey…”

A good friend of mine has met numerous women in Taiwan this way. Of course, this doesn’t always lead to an exchange of contact information or a date, but that’s fine. He’s had plenty of pleasant conversations.

I didn’t say anything about asking to sit down with someone. You can ask a question or invite a conversation without invading personal space. It’s especially easy if the person is sitting at a table next/close to you.

Obviously, the temporary coronavirus situation might change things a bit, but that seems like a convenient excuse in this hypothetical discussion and frankly, there are plenty of cafes in Taipei where it’s business as usual, for better or worse.

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Oh yeah, start with a lie.
Class :roll:

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wow, many tips. much appreciated.
Seems like there’s both arguments to this, especially since it does seem kinda weird to do A/B/C in this particular setting and environment (at worst they get offended) but at the same time other methods might work.
I guess there’s just one way to find out: Suck up balls & give this social experiment a try! (& make a run when it gets awkward & then report back to you guys for laughs… haha wish me luck)

maybe skip the sucking balls bit

God forbid a male speak to a strange woman in public without permission. . .

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