Funk500 just started a thread and in it he says people think he’s moody (read “mean”) but really he’s just shy.
Now I can attest that Funky is a bit on the shy side to people he doesn’t really know…me for instance, having met him a good half dozen times and I can also attest that he does look grouchy too.
I’m the same way sometimes.
But really how the f*&#! are shy people supposed to look? Chipper?
I also look mean/angry when I think (and read) and not just because I’m thinking about strangling Tom Hill.
People ask me, “Why are you so angry?” (When I’m reading no less.)
“I’m not angry,” I protest. “I’m reading…now fuck off.”
Seriously, wtf?
And do the rest of you shy people swear as much as I do?
[quote=“jdsmith”] I can also attest that he does look grouchy too.
[/quote]
Seriously, I’m grateful for the constructive criticism. Too many people are telling me this and I don’t wanna end up bitter and twisted like my old man.
Now how does one go about changing the “fuck you all” face (when I’m not talking) which is completely unintended, to the acceptable one? I could never be the over the top smiley sort of person nor do I want to be.
[quote=“Funk500”][quote=“jdsmith”] I can also attest that he does look grouchy too.
[/quote]
Seriously, I’m grateful for the constructive criticism. Too many people are telling me this and I don’t wanna end up bitter and twisted like my old man.
Now how does one go about changing the “fuck you all” face (when I’m not talking) which is completely unintended, to the acceptable one? I could never be the over the top smiley sort of person nor do I want to be.[/quote]
People don’t believe me when I tell them that at heart I am a VERY shy person. I had to teach myself to not be so (to avoid like becoming a serial killer).
Eye contact is the best way to disarm people; eye contact followed by a bit of a smile is good for all involved. No shit.
Eye contact followed by a moody/mean look is met with well, “Li kwa sha shiao?”
I like smiling now, but in my teens and twenties it was a rare thing to see. Not that I was mad or anything, but just that I was terribly shy.
Same applies to animals. Let a bear roam freely and he willl rarely come after you. Corner him and he’ll come out looking mean. They’re really just shy. Bears, the most misunderstood animal in the wild kingdom. :uhhuh:
Strangers make me very nervous. I always do one of two things.
I talk and talk and talk because I talk when I’m nervous or
I look like a bitch in hopes of keeping people from talking to me.
Usually 2. I can shoot the meanest dirties looks. If looks could kill I would be what western duels were all about.
So that might be why some shy people look mean. Because they want to. So people won’t try to make them talk.
[quote=“bobepine”][quote=“citizen k”]Short answer: Because they’re scared.
[/quote]Scared of what? Anticipating an answer from you, or anyone who agrees with you.[/quote]
[quote=“citizen k”][quote=“bobepine”][quote=“citizen k”]Short answer: Because they’re scared.
[/quote]Scared of what? Anticipating an answer from you, or anyone who agrees with you.[/quote]
No, silly. Scared of people. [/quote]I suppose that’s one way to look at it. Either you’re not a shy person, or you’re not very introspected because that’s over simplifying in a big way, IMO.
Being scared of people is one thing, and in some cases it can be what causes someone to be shy. It certainly is not how I would describe shy people in a nutshell, though. Just on top of my head, diffidence, distrust, suspicion and of course bashfulness are, among other things, pretty good grounds to shyness.
I sure don’t deal with shy people as if they are scared of me. If anything, I tend to think they just don’t want to give too much of themselves for a variety of reasons. I find shy people often make the best, and most loyal friends. Too bad they are overlooked, and often deemed grouchy, snobby, anti-social or whatever else.
People shit on each other from a very young age, and I can’t blame anyone for become distrustful, or bashful. Nor would I blame diffidence in this fucked up place we live in. Funk is a good example that intentions mean very little around this place. If the guy means well, but is thought of as being grouchy, that alone is a telling tale about the way humans interact with each other. Not a pretty tale at that, and enough to think twice before opening up to strangers.
Well, isn’t diffidence simply not caring or ambivalence, so not really grounds for shyness; reclusiveness or introversion maybe. Distrust and suspicion just sound like different degrees/instances of fear. And bashfulness is just a synonym of shyness, to one degree or another. Thinking about it, besides fear of others, self-esteem, or lack thereof, would also factor in; fear of compromising/asserting oneself in the face of others.
Well, isn’t diffidence simply not caring or ambivalence, so not really grounds for shyness; reclusiveness or introversion maybe.[/quote]Not at all. It’s lacking confidence in one’s own ability. [quote]Distrust and suspicion just sound like different degrees/instances of fear.[/quote]Fear of what others are capable of doing to you. I suppose it’s fear, yes. [quote]And bashfulness is just a synonym of shyness, to one degree or another. [/quote]Yes, my mistake.[quote] Thinking about it,[/quote]I’m thinking about it. [quote] besides fear of others, self-esteem, or lack thereof, would also factor in; fear of compromising/asserting oneself in the face of others.[/quote]Yeah, OK, you win. But I still think it’s over simplifying. Being shy can be a lot more than being scared of people. I’m convinced. It’s a gut feeling I have that not all shy people are scared.
Don’t know. Could be that they feel they shouldn’t be a burden to others by monopolizing attention. But that wouldn’t exacly be shyness; more like being demur or soft-spoken, maybe even selfless to a degree in that respect…Ever notice how someone who is a good listener and pays deep attention to others feelings is often the person who says the least? I do agree with you that they often turn out to be very loyal and good friends. This might be the key to unravelling this puzzle.
Most people think I’m shy, not true; most of the time I just don’t have anything to say.
Well, “mean” might not be the best choice of word; it was taken from “moody” which to me means “sulky” or “mean.” How about “unfriendly” or “unapproachable?”
[quote] besides fear of others, self-esteem, or lack thereof, would also factor in; fear of compromising/asserting oneself in the face of others.[/quote]Yeah, OK, you win. But I still think it’s over simplifying. Being shy can be a lot more than being scared of people. I’m convinced. It’s a gut feeling I have that not all shy people are scared.