He may think she has a hymen and care about it. Not the same thing as expecting that she has one. He may indeed expect her to have one, but obviously as you know, not having one doesn’t mean anything. That can be easily remedied with basic education. But it doesn’t change the fact that he at least for himself, he believes in being a virgin until marriage. She isn’t one, hymen or non hymen.
Most guys will probably get over it. Some guys are a bit naive. But there is certainly a possibility thats a deal breaker for him.
It makes some sense to me that, as a virgin, you’d like to have your first time be with another virgin. If that’s the case with him then I’d kind of understand, because I felt that way when I was a teenager. It’s just a bit childish, obviously.
Ok, i remember my first gf was 22 and i was 17 and when i “discovered” (that is she told me) that she was not a virgin i was upset because honestly i was not grown up in the head and everything was Romeo and Juliet. “Love” and all that (basically) BS.
I even went to the school counselor so I had someone to talk to.
It was pretty ridiculous.
After six months we broke up (she left me and that HURT, but i survived) and we never went “all the way” because I too at that time was deeply religious and believed in the one true love and love should be “pure” and all that (basically) BS.
So it was tough. But in the end it was good for me. I was NOT grown up (it was my first crush) and I was ultimately not ready for anything as serious as marriage.
And if i had ended up with her for years and ended up married at such a young age i would definitely have strayed and not been “true” to her.
You need to tell him. The problem is not so much you are not a virgin the problem is that he is immature and this is his first relationship and things are all “Romeo and Juliet” and very possibly emotional. And people do stupid shit when they are full of emotions (up to jumping off roofs or pushing others off roofs).
You need to tell him to tone the shit down and you are just “friends”.
Before it all gets too serious . And make sure that he has some sort of counselor available.
Everyone wants to marry a virgin (although they shouldn’t) but wants to bang everyone else. The concept is asinine.
And you don’t need to disclose your sexual history. Simply refuse.
My ex wife never disclosed hers and my present wife never disclosed hers. And i sure as heck don’t disclose mine (forgot most of it anyway).
He’s not necessarily a weirdo but completely inexperienced in the ladies department (we all had a first time). So it’s hard to be with a virgin really. Especially should you decide you want to get rid of him / her (as the case may be).
Back in the 50s/60s they say the average woman had 3 or so sexual partners before getting married (these stats are probably on the low end) while the average guy had maybe ten?
I don’t know what the stats are today but I would say they may be higher.
So you have a few more to go.
Are YOU sure you want a deeply connected and long lasting relationship with a virgin (who may when he gets more mature dump your ass).
my mom didn’t think it was “FINE” she definitely did NOT. She wanted me to get a gf my own age.
I thought it was fine because OH my GOD i have a GF ! And that was cool. Plus she was old enough to take me all over town and experience going out to eat in a lot of cool places , plus i never had to pay (her family was rich and her allowance was a LOT bigger than mine).
So of course I was upset and cried when she broke up with me, what was I to do? Where was I go? I would have to pay for all them fancy meals I cant afford??
Sigh…that ole hymen myth. Just had a bit of controversy in the US about that. I’m going to post this link here for you to read and maybe you could educate him about it.
the boyfriend maybe sounds a bit precious of you. If you lost it to someone that you were in a serious relationship with for a while, it would be worth explaining that too if you do tell him, so he doesn’t automatically think that you lost it in some anonymous encounter like that big dude and the white hair dragon girl from game of thrones.
But if you did lose it in something like that, I would not tell him, and say you used to do horse riding when you were younger and it broke during that. Or blame the dothraki
