Advice on financial aspects in dating a taiwanese woman

[flatlandr]

@DKaoshuing

So did brother say “OK”

I forewent on future opportunities.

[jimbob132]

I think you need to do some international tax structuring

Allocate only minimum wage to Taiwan, and get the rest of your income through an offshore bank and keep it hidden from your taiwanese girlfriend

Did she say how she is going to spend the money? If she invests it or plans to buy a home with it then maybe she is a keeper. If she spends it on handbags, then keep the extra income hidden from her.

[Flakman]

Is she a lawyer? Just wondering if might be a gold digger I know. She might say she is 40 and even might look around that age but is 50. One of her boyfriends broke up with her so she is distraught at the major impact on her finances…so will be on the hunt for a new stooge…oh, sorry…I mean boyfriend.

[keoni]

@katana

Shortly after our first official date, my partner laid down a number of conditions to continue dating with the goal of developing a serious long term relation, which is what I am interested.

One of the conditions was a bit surprising. She asks me to give her every month half of my salary as tangible proof that I care about her. I have no control where the money goes. I can still live conformably with half of my salary. The amount transferred could easily sustain a family! She also works in the same company and she earns close what I earn.

Only a few dates and she is already attempting to manipulate and control you?
Regardless of her age, don’t get further involved.

[cake]

The first error is dating a colleague.
Because when it goes wrong, you will see them 5 days a week.
The rest has been addressed by others here.

[Icon]

Question: would you accept this deal from a woman in your own country? Why then are you willing to even entertain this proposal?

I ask these same questions of newcomers. Yes, the laws and customs are different. You should be aware of them as a foreigner. That is OK. And it is very good of you to ask before, well, making a mistake by bring too compliant.

First of all, Taiwan is comprised of different ethnic groups. Each area has its own customs. Each family a diverse and varied background. Hence, there is no fixed “that’s the way it’s done” carved in the stone of a monolithic culture, followed as the Word of God. So you are not breaking any rules by not feeling this plan is kosher.

Second, every family deals with money in its own way. But as a foreigner, you have to be extra careful of finances. Putting all your assets in your wife’s name usually results with you eventually losing all should there be a divorce.

Third, you cannot change this person’s view or even the society’s view of foreigners. Some very deep racist concepts have deep roots. So your “sacrifice” by investing half your salary to prove yourself worthy and reliable will fall on deaf ears. She will always see you through those lenses, as “the other”, and find an excuse to prove herself right.

[jdsmith]

@katana

Can I also ask what is the practice in married couples? She keeps telling me that men would turn all of their earnings over to their wife, so I am lucky she is only asking for half.

Is she hot? Like really hot? Or like librarian and sexy cat at Halloween hot?

OK, but anyway, no. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I like you but that is a 20 years of marriage request before our first overseas vacation.”

[jdsmith]

@TT

Yeah, one of my younger hotter tinder dates (mid-20s) basically said I didn’t shell out enough money on our first few dates and that is obviously why she isn’t interested in me.

And wut, you believed her? Ah, the male ego.

@TT

only met the girl 3-4 times

How did her clothing change over the four dates? What other signals did she give you?

I mean, hilarious, but I’m genuinely curious. Dating! At 40! Wow. Whoosh, right over my head. I’m sure I’d be so bad at it. But I would laugh, like loudly out loud over the appetizers if I heard some shit like that.

[afterspivak]

@jdsmith

I would laugh, like loudly out loud over the appetizers if I heard some shit like that

Yeah better to be up front and honest about things. Saves trouble that would pop up later.

Guy

[jdsmith]

@afterspivak

Yeah better to be up front and honest about things. Saves trouble that would pop up later.

Or show up with a younger gal you took to McDonalds and did standing up in the alley.

[afterspivak]

@jdsmith

did standing up in the alley

Please Mr Smith, this is a family friendly site!

Guy

[jdsmith]

Not me! I’d never be able to keep my foot up on the crate. Just making a point.

[tango42]

Greedy woman has no care about you. Nothing to do with being Taiwanese. And don’t think it as a Taiwan culture issue.

Anyway Taiwan is not one homogeneous culture. There are races, religions, subcultures.

After marriage or leading right up to it if you’re close to it then one or the other may take more control and help manage the money just like in the West.

[jdsmith]

@tango42

And don’t think it as a Taiwan culture issue.

My wife says Taiwan has crazy people too.

[Taiwan_Luthiers]

Gay sauna costs anywhere from 350 - 1000nt per 24 hours. All the sex you want if you’re into that sort of thing.

For straights hookers are a lot less than half your salary.

How long have you dated her? On the first date this sounds like a scam.

Married, maybe, but even then that just sounds like a scam.

[Marco]

@Taiwan_Luthiers

Gay sauna costs anywhere from 350 - 1000nt per 24 hours

He’s talking about dating a woman.

[TT]

@jdsmith

And wut, you believed her? Ah, the male ego.

no, that’s what she said. she said that i should know that she wouldn’t be interested in me because i didn’t shell out. not my ego saying ‘obviously’, i understand maybe she wouldn’t be interested for lots of reasons (i’m older, fatter, not really a good time kinda guy). I’m reporting what she said. Ah, the @jdsmith

@jdsmith

How did her clothing change over the four dates?

first and last dates were no makeup, clothing varied depending on our activities.

@jdsmith

What other signals did she give you?

it’s been a while and i can’t recall everything. she definitely didn’t give any signals that she was interested, aside from agreeing to go out with me and being generally pleasant when we went out.

@jdsmith

I mean, hilarious, but I’m genuinely curious. Dating! At 40! Wow. Whoosh, right over my head. I’m sure I’d be so bad at it.

I find it is easier now than it was when i was younger. For one thing, the range of possible dates has gotten much larger now that i am older and have a little cash in my pocket. Also, i don’t really care so much.

@jdsmith

But I would laugh, like loudly out loud over the appetizers if I heard some shit like that.

This was via text message, and recently I was cleaning out my LINE and deleted the contact and chat, so sadly I can’t share it with you (it’s fun!)

[Taiwan_Luthiers]

Even dating a woman, or finding a hooker doesn’t cost half your salary.

Actually, for that cost you could just get a mail order bride.

[mad_masala]

@Icon

Why then are you willing to even entertain this proposal?

I came to the conclusion that she’s way hotter than him.

[Marco]

@Taiwan_Luthiers

Even dating a woman, or finding a hooker doesn’t cost half your salary.

Yes. I said that, but it’s also safe to assume that suggesting a gay sauna is unlikely to be helpful.