Anthony Bourdain dead at 61


#21

11 years old. Alone. My burden becomes her burden.

Nope, sorry, don’t buy it.


#22

I didn’t use to buy it. I still don’t get it.

Perhaps thinking about why someone would make such a decision may help you buy it. If it’s difficult to find a reason that may be part of the answer.


#23

I was never a fan of Bourdain, but I wouldn’t presume to judge him. None of us can get inside his head and know what he was going though. I definitely commiserate with the people he left behind though, especially his young daughter. I feel bad about trashing him a few weeks ago on this forum, so I’m going to atone by binge watching his shows.


#24

Thanks anyway, I don’t need help “buying it.” I’m not seeking a way to understand or make peace with what’s happened. I’m afraid I have just lost all respect for the guy.

And yes, this is judgmental and I agree, who am I to forgive Anthony Bourdain, a fellow traveller.

Afraid that willfully abandoning 11-year old daughters to the whims of fate is not something I will ever buy.


#25

I pity the daughter and his loved ones but I also sympathize with him. The whole thing is bound to stir up mixed feelings for everyone.

My close friend took his life a couple months ago. I always knew in my heart he was going to looking back. The guy was abandoned and abused by alcoholic parents and later adopted by his adopted father who who rape him and got his friends to rape and molest him as a kid. This followed by years fo struggles of alcohol and drug abuse and losing his brother in his arm who was his only caretaker. I can’t even say I blame him for taking drugs to get out himself. If anything the drugs made things better for him for a while before it spiral out of control and he ended up in rehab over and over again. I was so sad, angry and all these emotions flooded in. All I know is I think he is finally at peace. You just never know a persons pain they are holding inside. I think what he went through was too much for one person to go through.


#26

I didn’t mean to be rude using the phrase “buy it”. It was a phrase used in your earlier post and I thought it was a normal expression for you.


#27

No problem. (And I didn’t think you were being rude.)


#28

Good article

People at the very edge of suicide often don’t have things under control mentally. They are not at that moment thinking straight.

Good read


#29

In my early twenties I approached the edge of suicide - I was not mentally in a good place. Looking back at that phase, there is no way that my thought processes were rational or logical. All I wanted to do was to get out of ‘here’ (this reality). To just check-out and die.

So I think it’s unfair to cast Bourdain as having ‘wilfully abandonned’ his daughter. It might even have made sense to him, at the time he took his life. Unless you were there in his final hours, talking to him and hearing his own thoughts, there is no possible way you can judge the man.


#30

Disagree. Life is often, very often, unfair. As a father it is simply unforgivably selfish to throw off a burden so heavy that you would rather die than bear it onto the thin shoulders of your eleven-year old, newly orphaned daughter.

The guy was rational enough to wait until everybody was away and to hang himself quietly (as far as we know). He quit on his daughter and he quit on himself. No sympathy from me.

Everything else is just excuses, sorry. Afraid that in this case I stand behind ‘suck it up, buttercup.’


#31

Unfortunately it’s not uncommon for suicidal people to rationalize that people are better off without them alive. I can def empathize with feeling that way at some low points in my life. It’s hard to imagine the feeling if you’ve never felt that way where you think taking your life is the only way and I hope you don’t. I do however have to disagree with you on it being a issue on toughness as it might discourage people from seeking help. I can say that it is at least a choice to speak up and seek help however hard it might be.

Sad what happened all around. Regardless of how you feel. I do hope his death continues to bring more people to seek help. I think suicide rates are on the rise. And I’ve said it before, males make up predominantly the percentage of suicides.


#32

In practical terms this advice has been proven not to work for ever.

However, it still remains good advice, IMO, when combined with other methods. As a standalone it has zero efficacy.

Either Bourdain tried to suck it up and therefore sucking it up didn’t work, or he didn’t try to suck it up. Doesn’t make logical sense to me.


#33

He was able to suck it up right up until he made a conscious decision to quit. He decided to forfeit everything he had, everything he ever would have, and he placed a huge burden on his daughter.

As an adult we can all choose to quit anytime we want to, and he did that. Fine. He doesn’t get to keep his respectability, though. Not from me, anyway.


#34

He had mental illness and severe addictions, I’d say stop bashing the guy at this stage. His brain was damaged just like if your heart was damaged or your liver or whatever . If your brain isn’t working properly you can’t think straight. Fact.


#35

VIs the child’s mother dead?

He may have made monetary provisions for her at least. And she is not an orphan if her mom is alive.

No, he should not hAve left her without a dad. He should not have killed himself.

What can we say? Most of us were we there would’ve said to him…don’t do it. If his lifestyle on the show was killing him…retire. Surely he had enough beans saved up?

But we don’t know what the story is . Thus we can’t judge.

Ps just read that he hanged himself in his room , are we sure someone did not do him in ?


#36

Would you also say that to a suicidal mother suffering from post-partum depression? The brain is a mysterious and complex organ that we don’t fully understand. I think heaping blame on the recently deceased in a bid to show how selfish they were doesn’t achieve much. What I do know is I liked his books, loved his shows, and will miss him, and I feel terrible for his family and loved ones. He wouldn’t kill himself unless he truly wanted to die. That’s hard to understand, but we should reserve some sympathy. We should also reach out to others we personally know who seem depressed instead of just blasting the suicide hotline number all over social media and thinking that’s enough.


#37

So someone snuck in his hotel and killed him, and also the police covered it up? Dude, not everything is a conspiracy. Occam’s razor suggest this is no more than a depressed guy killing himself.


#38

The word now is that a few days before his suicide, Tony found out that Asia Argento was cheating on him, and he was in a very dark mood.


#39

Where’s that from? Reddit?

Could be true, but my money would be on an MRA/incel/I just don’t like women attempt to attack #metoo. OMG! The lying bitch killed Tony!

EDIT: Hate to link to the Daily Mail, but I have to admit it doesn’t look good:


#40

It is going around the Interwebs since Bourdain interviewed a Putin opponent just a month before the guy was gunned down.