Butchered English and funny pics

This is a new blog of funny uses of the English language


If you come across any more pictures of this sort in your travels, and I’m sure you will, email them to me at butcheredenglish@yahoo.com and I will add them.


Ha ha ha! Funny hobby! I guess you can actually take at least one picture a day with Taiwan’s bad English. (Are foreign teachers to blame? :wink: )

After reading this thread (Shocking Taiwanese T-shirts) I was wondering what are some of the hilarious things you have heard co-workers, students, acquaintances, media personalities, or just general Taiwanese, say in English that weren’t meant how they came out?

A few months ago, one of my co-workers asked the students to “please give the English teachers the clap”.

Some of my classes (children) have a hard time pronouncing “six.” Often, when playing a game that requires a roll of the dice, the students begin loudly chanting what sounds like, “Sex! Sex! Sex!”

At a wedding I went to last month, the bride’s boss got up on stage and gave a speech in English. One of the things he said was “Jane is a really valuable employee. Before she sells our products to customers, she sells herself to them”.

Sex is actually Swedish for six… it’s not a dirty word in all languages…

My favorite was the young lady who informed me that her mother loves to eat penis-garlic penis, salty penis, penis in a shell, roasted penis.

My response? Your father must be a very happy man.

Maybe not, but it is an English class.

So it is a good instance of what the title of this thread announces. Saying “sex” instead of “six” in English is both funny and incorrect.

I’ve had maybe a couple instances of people telling me to “take a shit” instead of a “sheet”.

But then again, speaking Mandarin, I inadvertently called someone a monkey and noted that a room was moist (instead of noisy). And I told someone “I do not need what I need”. (No wonder she had a puzzled look on her face.)

One of my friends told me her co worker mad her made and she wanted to kick him in the asshole :astonished:

It sometimes strikes me as funny when locals misinterpret “until”. Such as “The Neihu line of the MRT will be open until 2009.” (And then they’ll just close down a perfectly working system?)

Or when they use “since” with an act that takes an instant: “I entered college since September 2005.” (Wow, an awfully long and dragged out admissions process, eh?)

Usually these just frustrate me, though.

The funniest incident was when a student had a necklace with an interesting shaped jade object on it. I asked her what it was. She said, “It’s penis. It’s means fertility.”

Turns out she meant “peanuts”.

We were talking about favorite foods today and one of my student said he “loved Japanese boob” very much!

Yes, it’s the ‘T’ that is not or unclearly pronounced… hilarious.

Don’t know which thread it is, but there’s this story of a teacher who understood a student saying she has big tit while the student meant to say she has big teeth.

The one I heard many times was the word sheet being pronounced as shit. I couldn’t help laughing in the beginning (wanted to ignore it but just couldn’t… that’s stupid but ok) but later I became a bit tired with it… they just cannot say it correctly… can not!!

I was listening to TOEFL practice speaking tests, and there was a student who I could have sworn said “fuck us”. Turns out she was trying to say “focus”.


Of course, there’s always, “The Itchy Bitchy Spider.” Found out the hard way the reason why folks in Taiwan sing it, “The teensy Weensy Spider,” but man, I died laughing!

Reminds me of a classmate in school that would always sing very lewd versions of old nursery rhymes. Teacher would always kick him out of class, but he had the rest of the class in stitches. My favourite was the rude version of I’m a Little Teapot.

Isn’t funny unless you share the lyrics.

My CT constantly tells me that she is “boring”. She means “bored”, but she is boring so I don’t correct her. Oh, and I had a 6-year old girl come to school the other day with a t-shirt on saying: “Please Don’t Rape Me”. :eh:

[quote=“Tomas”]My favorite was the young lady who informed me that her mother loves to eat penis-garlic penis, salty penis, penis in a shell, roasted penis.

My response? Your father must be a very happy man.[/quote]

Having my penis roasted would not make me a happy man.