Bye bye wife (2012-2022), bye bye Taiwan (2015-2022) - it feels awful Oki

What’s with the double underscore thing? At least that’s how it looks on my browser.

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Just it looks cool in my opinion)

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That and I keep reading your name as Diablo. :japanese_ogre:

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You are a Taiwanese man.
If you marrying a foreign woman, likely she considered as trophy wife by all your family and relatives. Trophy wife gets a lot of passes.
A TW woman marrying a male foreigner, the dude definitely not a trophy, neither a wife. Not a trophy wife won’t get a lot of pass.
I am just stating the obvious as OP dealing with Taiwanese woman, not a TW man.
Diablo telling it in more details below.
If you are different, you cannot be the same with the others, you must be better.

Sad truth for immigrants. The loser back home and unqualified English teacher stereotypes don’t help.

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Yes this does seem to be catchy doesn’t it.

Guy

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Except South East Asians they don’t want to marry into Taiwanese family. And let’s leave behind how many marry by their will.

Japanese girls : no, To them Taiwan is dirty

Western girls : no, Most of girls prefer modest life in West rather than life in rich Taiwanese family. Micromanagement , control of kids and husband by inlaws is not a typically drem life western girl is up to.

Korean girls : they like stylish guys and modern architecture.

Wife said she likes me, cause I am humorous, laid back, direct and fearless. She could marry richer Taiwanese and have easy life. But she fall in love. Maybe we were just young & dump. I was smart to take her out. But yea otherwise I would live 250 km from in-laws. As a man you need set up boundaries in relation from beginning. Just don’t play their games.

This is why this marriage has been over long time ago. First time a women comes to me with such demands and talk about possible break up up I have always moved on. You don’t negotiate attractions. Women has to be crazy about you, or there is no point to be in relation. Than you have fwb

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There’s a difference between “my wife looks at other people and compares our life” and “I make just the average salary in my city, probably without benefits, and call it excellent.” That sounds like the kind of guy who’s content with living with a mattress, a chair, a TV and a playstation for sole furniture.

Is there a lot of effort though? The guy doesn’t talk about his job between 2016-2019, so we can assume it was petty jobs at best, no job at worst. Taking three years to find in a shady and unstable position (by the time he’s 35, so not quite “early”) seems hardly like “lots of efforts” and “trying his best.” Hell in that amount of time the guy could have earned a master’s from his own country (doable remotely, France has an extensive system to that effect) and gotten a stable, decently-paying office job by 2022!

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Must’ve been a good dump

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OP, you seem like a decent man. Some advice, hopefully constructive…

A woman generally wants her man to have a certain value, which often consists of these factors:

  • Having an interesting profession/hobby, and earning more than she does.
  • Maintaining frame. He is calm. When she’s upset, he is the steady hand.
  • Being physically attractive and/or takes care of himself, and satisfies her sexually.

You didn’t meet her standard unfortunately.
Best of luck to you.

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Now I feel like a hunk of meat.

Thanks! :banana:

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Not even going this far, if the guy just had:

  • a real job
  • a contribution to his couple life equal to that of his wife, rather than relying on her about everything

you can bet there’s a chance his wife wouldn’t have left him.

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You will get a pension aslong as you pay labour insurance. I have plenty of money waiting for me.

I realise the OP probably wasn’t paying any labour insurance or health insurance , which isn’t great.

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Overall I like your comment and you are spot on. I don’t know why guys put themselves in such a nasty spots. People change, reality changes. Be always ready to divorce. With cryptos around every fool can hide money today.

What about us, what guys want? Curious to read your opinion

Nobody cares what guys want

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It’s actually simple, don’t chose someone that is a class above your standing.

It’s usually girls getting this wrong. Beautiful girls marrying a more wealthy dude not realising that they will be exchanged if they cannot maintain their beauty.

For men beauty is less important, status and wealth matter more. Make sure her friends and family care about the same features as she does in you so you won’t be replaced.
But place the same standards on her so you keep finding her attractive.

Make a score sheet. One for yourself in her opinion, and one for her in your opinion.

Taiwanese aren’t as materialistic as Chinese, but being up front about materialistic things is usually considered very sexy by girls. It shows them you take them seriously and are a good manager.
I always tell women my demands up front. It scares many away but is a great filter (being education, body fat, sportiveness, healthy lifestyle and so on). I tell them I keep the same standards for myself as I can only like myself if I’m in good shape myself, live healthy, be ambitious… Yes you could see that as objectification of a person. But I don’t believe in love out of emotions. I believe in shared goals, complimenting each other and attraction through exactly this.
It’s only fair to each other. Love out of the blue is bullshit and will fail, it’s that scorecard that counts, plus the human inability to understand sunk costs. It takes se more to get together than to separate, but being on equal footing helps a lot.

But yeah, being in good shape, clean, good looking can rank you up. But only do what you can keep up. You can maybe make a woman change her preferences, change her social circles, but that is a lot of work not always worth it.

Choosing a girl that is considered attractive in the West, but not so attractive in Taiwan is a good idea of upgrading your points Vs hers.
And of course learning Chinese is an absolute must if you intend to keep living in Taiwan. There are actually many many girl’s who would love to move to Europe or US. For them you speaking Chinese is actually unattractive. But if you want to live in Taiwan for longer, and don’t earn amongst the top 1% better learn Chinese for yourself and your relationship. A foreigner speaking fluent Chinese is improving your scorecard a lot in the long run.

But you lose out on all those girls that see you as free ticket to learn English (and amongst the Taiwanese girls with foreign boyfriends I think over half are just in it for that, at least in the beginning.). Actually I tell all girls up front that I don’t want to live in Taiwan for long, and if their English and education isn’t too notch, we won’t have a long run because she could not fit into my circles back home.

But of course everyone has a bit of a different importance on his scoresheet. Western people usually are too stupid to not up front consider materialistic facts.

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Lot of stereotypes there. I don’t think stereotypes are good for evaluating individuals. You always meet individuals, so even if stereotypes were accurate for a large part of a population, they are not useful because you are not dealing with a large part of a population but individuals.

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Done.

A lot of people get annoyed with stereotypes but a lot of stereotypes are based off at least a kernel of truth if not more. Like locals thinking westerners are all players… While we all aren’t obviously, a significant amount of field playing foreigners messed with local lasses and fled home to give us that title

For example one thing I’ve noticed with Taiwanese women from my experience is they are very very interested in a guys wealth and position way more than what I’ve seen with western women. Not that they are different from western women but they are more up front and willing to ask on a first date how much money you bring to the table. And much more willing to give a suitor the boot if you don’t meet that standard. It’s a stereotype but it occurs often enough to make a blanket statement.

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Yep, otherwise you will be in her frame, most girls will fall out of love and get annoyed. There is a lot of social pressure in Taiwan and Taiwanese prefer collective mindset. Not many individuals can go behind it, but they exist. It helps when girl has western experience

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