Perhaps some of you have noticed this or are perpetrators of it. It’s something I call “foreigner syndrome” in which, when a foreigner meets another foreigner, s/he will go to ANY length to avoid making eye contact, saying hello/ ni hao, or whatever. My friend says that yesterday she met one who got out of an adjacent line at a shop and went to the back just to avoid talking to him, and I believe it; so many of us are just snobs.
You have to wonder how wrapped up these people are in their own “exotic adventure” that they can’t even acknowledge a friendly face. Or are they just too good to associate with other foreigners at all?
Has anyone else had this experience? Or if you’re one of these people, would you care to explain why you do this?
If I don’t know you, why should I go out of my way to greet you on the street? I don’t smile and say hi to most of the Taiwanese I pass by; why should I vary that practice just because of someone’s race?
Then again, I live in Taipei. If I lived in a small town I might behave differently, depending on my mood.
What you call “The Foreigner Syndrome” I would just call being normal. What I call the “Foreigner Syndrome” would be more akin to the petty Alpha-individual showdown many foreigners do when meeting each other, e.g. trying to speak Mandarin or Taiwanese as loudly as possible, flashing their scooter helmets, asking how long the other’s been here, etc., all to establish some sort of pecking order. It’s quite amusing, actually.
the other-foreigner aversion is somewhat common…maybe it’s because as whities, we stick out anyway,and just when we start to feel settled in, along comes joe blow from Idaho waving and smiling at us on a public street, making us stick out again…
or it could be the “ugly foreigner” who doesnt seem able to talk about anything but how much scratch he’s making teaching rugrats, or how many babes he’s bedded since he got here 3 months ago…mainly, this is the reason i dont go out to the bars anymore (been here 8 years…and yes, I know, joe it’s all new to you, but i really HAVE heard it all before)
however, on the street, locals and foreigners alike, you smile, i smile, you say hi, i say hi, we make eye contact, i smile…even when the mormons smile and wave like maniacs from across an intersection!
Many Taiwanese seriously expect all western foreigners to stick together most of the time and to know each other. Perhaps this has a little bit to do with the chinese custom to build a little China in cities abroad, where all Chinese can gather and feel at home. I had been asked by local friends:
“Hey, there was a foreigner, why didn’t you say hello?”
“Because I don’t know him.”
“But you are both foreigners!”
“So what?”
If the other guy is an Italian and we meet in Italy, then I am still a foreigner but he is not - so am I still supposed to greet him or better not? Should I perhaps instead approach every Taiwanese (Could you show me your passport please…?) I meet in Milano and hug him (Well, if it were a “she”…), glad to meet another foreigner?
Imagine Computex: Taiwan would experience a sharp drop in overseas trade because all foreigners at the WTC had to spend an incredible amount of time to wave at each other each time they meet.
If I want to make someone’s acquaintance (foreigner or local), I will go and talk to him/her and I suppose the other one will do the same. But I am not used to the habit of greeting every stranger I meet on the street…
I remember a few years ago when I drove an old VW beetle and you’d always get these beetle-driving retards that’d flash their lights, parp their horn, wave, etc. if they saw anyone else driving the same kind of car.
Yeah, I guess I can understand that some foreigners are an embarrassment, but you can spot them from far enough to move inconspicuously (just like our local betel-boyz). I refuse to believe that I greet people (foreign or otherwise) because I’m lonely, but perhaps you hit it on the head; others are lonely and want to live in the illusion of being Taiwanese.
I have to clarify what I meant to begin with; I don’t mean stopping a total stranger on the street and starting a conversation; I mean being in close quarters with someone in a bookstore and needing to say SOMETHING (as we would at home) to avoid looking like a total nerd. I guess if I’m looking in the English section, I make the horrific mistake of saying “excuse me,” or they might think I was trying to cozy up secretly. If I’m in the Chinese section, a “dui bu chi” will do just fine, and I’ll say it to anyone. The Taiwanese people smile or nod or even speak. Many of the expats turn on their heel and run away. I don’t think I smell or anything, and it’s not just me; I’ve discussed this with many friends from Taipei and Tainan, and they agree with me. They seem like normal enough people (albeit with an unpleasant habit of acknowledging other people…eeeeewwww…)
I maintain that in such a situation, it’s just common courtesy to smile, nod, or at least acknowledge the other person, and not move to the back of the bookstore to avoid him/her. If someone smiles, smile back. It’s not rocket science and it’s not a huge effort.
"maintain that in such a situation, it’s just common courtesy to smile, nod, or at least acknowledge the other person, and not move to the back of the bookstore to avoid him/her. If someone smiles, smile back. It’s not rocket science and it’s not a huge effort. "
agreed, and any such foreigner guilty of such rudeness should be dealt with accordingly! Point at him.her and say in a loud commanding voice, “Thou art a poopiehead!”
Relax guy, I wouldn’t talk to you here in the States either. My stepfather is a hardcore lifetime saleman. His actual title is more prestigious but it boils down to sales imo. He constantly embarrased me as a kid by becoming an instant buddy to EVERYBODY. Seriously you could not avoid him if you started running. He’s 6’4" and constantly looks like this icon --> His expression wouldn’t even change if you ran I’d guess but he’d catch up to you eventually. Is that what you are hoping for? Actually if I visit Taiwan for a 1 year work visa dealie I’ll ask him to visit. You’ll then post “Why do foreigners never, ever leave me alone to do what I came to the store to do”?
I remember one of the girls working at the T.L.I. once told me there were other students from Germany, too. She then asked me if she should introduce me to them. I replied it was more fun pretending not to understand what they were talking about… No, seriously, I just said I would rather spend my very limited time in Taiwan talking to locals, since I have the chance of talking to “foreigners” back home every day (and then I continued reading the newspaper).
Of course this doesn’t mean I won’t smile, nod, say “hi”, etc. in reply to a foreigner, but if I see some foreign guy entering a 7-Eleven just because he saw me walking in, I don’t really feel obliged to start a conversation.
I believe that you have been in Taiwan too long. From the point of view of a German national, in the above posting you have referred to Germans living in Germany as “foreigners”.
I’ve experienced what nemesis is talking about. And, I’m not expecting people to make an effort to say hi. However, I’ve noticed people who clearly (at least from my perception) see me or make I contact with me. However, they seem to go out of their way to avoid looking at me, turning their heads, etc…
I WILL (here or in the states) at least nod at someone or smile at them if we make eye contact. So, I guess I’m surprised when others don’t. Maybe, like was said, I’m feeling lonely for other English speakers, so in a sea of Taiwanese faces, I notice the odd one out. Who knows.
However, I think what is worse is when you get ignored by the Taiwanese. I’ve had many people walk in front of or push past me… ME (at 6’6") without saying doi bu che (or however you spell it), excuse me, or anything.
A few times, people have cut in front of me in line. No indication that they saw you or care that you were there first. I want to spin them around and say, “HELLO! I was waiting here first…”
I’ve also had the situation where I’ve had to walk past them, I’ve said doi bu che and they don’t move. So, I have to squeeze by them.
Jonathan
I know, I know… they don’t realize they are doing it. But, I think it is worse than being ignored by other foreigners.
Hello? You mean you’ve been in Taiwan just one month and this annoys you? Wait til you’ve been here for ten years. It becomes a never-ending battle with your ingrained cultural mores.
What I do, and don’t tell anyone, is elbow them right back. A few days ago this cow on the MRT backed up (forcefully) into the whole crowd therefore shoving about ten people off balance. You really don’t want to know how I handled that one. Of course, I was the ONLY one who handled it, and the fantasies I had of handling it with even more venom linger even now.
Maybe it’s because I’ve only been here 7 months, but I do feel like I have more in common with the average white face I see, or at least American face… In some ways it just seems like Taiwanese people don’t understand “where I’m coming from.” Which makes sense as they aren’t coming from the same place, literally. At least an American, and at a basic level a Brit, Aussie, Canadian, what have you, probably listened to the same music growing up. Did the same drugs. Had the same kind of peer relationships. And so on.
I share dbbowman’s suspicion that many westerners here aren’t worth much time. yet they do have that certain je ne sais qois… because culturally we are related. I was in San Francisco 2 weeks ago and I want to cry when I see the clothes people are wearing here. I am trying to look beyond it and I have met a few Taiwanese who show a different side to the culture and we can recognize some commonalities in each other, so I try to milk that. But I do feel a deep pull to at least smile at other westerners, because I do feel something in common with them I don’t have with the Taiwanese. Those who don’t smile back I assume the same thing about as I would of someone doing it in the States: they are having a bad day, or are not friendly.
Maybe some feel they have to be snobbish to defend against people who like me are only smiling because of this “fictional” cultural connection… when they were back in the States they could attach less significance to the action. Here it means something they want to avoid.
There is simply no way to deal with people who cut in front of you in line. Either you sacrifice your faith in politeness and become like the enemy, or keep it and get trampled on because you’re the only one. Argh. What do they teach their children? I solace myself with the fact that I have talked about it with my Taiwanese friends and they’ve told me they notice it too and don’t like it either; apparently in their eyes it is a habit of the older generation particularly.
I once had a friend who told me when she was little that her mother would say to her, “Push in first to get a seat. When your in there don’t stand up for anybody. You’ll be OK. Now off with you.”
She said she hated it. Her mother whom I have met many times and come to like very much is a great host and something of a charmer. She’d always greet me with a “Sit downa, pleasy.You wanta a beer. No sweat.You wanta a beer.” I always wondered where she picked up the expression “NO Sweat” from which is a real ockerism. Later, in a drunken confession from my friend I found out that she’d spent most of her life as a hooker in Keelung.
I say hi to the snobby foreigners anyway, just to get under their skin. I couldn’t give a rat’s hairy scrotum if they say hi back. Their attitude is their problem, not mine.
I like the mormons too. As long as they don’t talk about God, we’re all good. I just don’t get why their fuzzy-chinned boys are “elders” and the girls are “sisters.” Can’t the girls be “elders” too or did Brigham Young have a theory on that? And how come you never see a “sister” peddling around on her bike? Not that these things keep awake at night, it’s just the mormons I’ve talked too don’t really know how to answer my questions without bringing God into it.
Poagao made a mormon cry once when we were at McDonalds. You’d think someone who looks like a koala stoned on eucalyptus would be Mostly Harmless, but ho-ho, not even. He scared the piss out of Elder Roberts, made him cry like a baby.
Hi!
My name is Ben, and I live in a small town called Putz, near Chiayi.
I, too, have encountered frequently the bizarre
behaviour that has been dubbed the Foreigner Syndrome. Even in Chiayi, a small city, other foreigners seem to go to great lengths to avoid contact.
At first it was rather disheartening. Downturned eyes, averted gazes, the selective hearing in bookstores. . .
Now it’s all rather amusing. I’ve tried to figure out why this disorder has appeared in so many people. I’ve decided that it is because many foreigners here believe they are the main characters in some wondrous exotic adventure, and don’t like to be reminded that there are many, many others in exactly the same situation.
The most interesting specimens are the individuals who have been here for a long time. I’ve worked with a few of these, and I see others quite often. They remind me of the people I knew in high school who bragged about the fact they had Doc Martens “BEFORE they were cool.”
Goodness gracious, a pleasant greeting or a polite nod is scarcely an invitation to establish the phantom “pecking order” mentioned earlier. Nor is it an ice-breaker for tales of late night, booze-fueled antics.
Three cheers for those who acknowledge a friendly face.
You might become like that too after you’ve been here a while and been burned many times by other foreigners who won’t even look at you.
I think it might be the stress that we feel from being in such a completely alien culture.
But the worst are the “Chinese only” nazis. I came here to learn Chinese too but give me a break! If you INSIST on speaking chinese with other foreigners I think you are mentally ill.
No, seriously, I just said I would rather spend my very limited time in Taiwan talking to locals, since I have the chance of talking to “foreigners” back home every day (and then I continued reading the newspaper). 
