Horrible dating experiences in Taiwan

Life Dating & Relationships
41

[quote=“tina109”][quote=“petrarch1603”]Wasn’t there a post awhile ago that said “Where the white women at?” Or something to that effect. Maybe the OP should find him.

That said, I think its pretty annoying when a girl’s baseline requirement is that a man be tall. I’m actually taller than her qualifications, so its no sour grapes to me, but that is a pretty dumb requirement. I think if any dude went around saying he’d only date a girl with large breasts he’d rightly be ridiculed as a pig.[/quote]

Really? I think life is way too short for not getting exactly what I want. I have male friends that never dates a girl with smaller breasts than a d-cup and I think it’s great! (no, I’m definitely not d) but I think people would be much happier if they weren’t satisfied so easily, never settle with less than what you REALLY want! I am not going to date short guys when there’s a world full of long handsome men! Never ever![/quote]

Sometimes, life itself can feel less than 175cm. Nevermind.

Doing the health check for my working visa I got measured up: 182.7cm. And I’m kinda good lookin. And your avatar looks kinda cute so if you’re better looking than that . . .

I’d ask you out on a date meself but I can tell we’re not really compatible; I like shy, retiring, spectacle wearing little bookworms who need to be prised out of the library isles (eh?) for a damn good rogering - at least, after ten hours of heated debate regarding the merits of Postmodernism and, at a minimum, a further four hours on ontology. If all goes according to plan I win the argument in the style of Samuel Johnson refuting Bishop Berkely only, “I refute it” THRUST!

If you know what I mean.

But, then again, I’m often a little misunderstood.

42

[quote=“Thelonlieste”][quote=“tina109”][quote=“petrarch1603”]Wasn’t there a post awhile ago that said “Where the white women at?” Or something to that effect. Maybe the OP should find him.

That said, I think its pretty annoying when a girl’s baseline requirement is that a man be tall. I’m actually taller than her qualifications, so its no sour grapes to me, but that is a pretty dumb requirement. I think if any dude went around saying he’d only date a girl with large breasts he’d rightly be ridiculed as a pig.[/quote]

Really? I think life is way too short for not getting exactly what I want. I have male friends that never dates a girl with smaller breasts than a d-cup and I think it’s great! (no, I’m definitely not d) but I think people would be much happier if they weren’t satisfied so easily, never settle with less than what you REALLY want! I am not going to date short guys when there’s a world full of long handsome men! Never ever![/quote]

Sometimes, life itself can feel less than 175cm. Nevermind.

Doing the health check for my working visa I got measured up: 182.7cm. And I’m kinda good lookin. And your avatar looks kinda cute so if you’re better looking than that . . .

I’d ask you out on a date meself but I can tell we’re not really compatible; I like shy, retiring, spectacle wearing little bookworms who need to be prised out of the library isles (eh?) for a damn good rogering - at least, after ten hours of heated debate regarding the merits of Postmodernism and, at a minimum, a further four hours on ontology. If all goes according to plan I win the argument in the style of Samuel Johnson refuting Bishop Berkely only, “I refute it” THRUST!

If you know what I mean.

But, then again, I’m often a little misunderstood.[/quote]

like

43

You must also accept that your criteria, whilst not unreasonable at any level, makes it harder for you. You have a large pond, with a few fish, and a net full of holes. You will eventually boat that bass, but not without a struggle. I dont blame you for not wanting what you dont want. I have a phd in not liking a lot of girls sexually. (NOT GAY. NOT GAY.)
But you have to understand that you are looking for some hens teeth in a pile of rocking horse shit. Its gonna be tough.

Learn some Chinese. Thats bloody good advice. Your rocking body wont be enough. Taiwanese girls have the market on nubile-yet-firm well cornered. (They also have the large and squidgy market covered too, but thats another story.) Plus you will be seen by the locals as temporary meat.
In your case: Chase the competiton NOT the dream.

Oh yeah, and most of us on this site post before we have time to think. Dont take it personally. We have trigger fingers.

44

I just can’t believe that you actually consider “above 175, fluent in english and clean” as way too high requirements… :ponder:

well, I’m still giving up though.

45

[quote=“tina109”]I just can’t believe that you actually consider “above 175, fluent in english and clean” as way too high requirements… :ponder:

well, I’m still giving up though.[/quote]

Ok, I am 177 and I dont stink (too much) and I may be available as my GF has the parachute out of our relationship in her closet (she will have to be as saintly as MO Teresa to stand me too long) . So why not get yourself a ticket to SF? And we can take care of some of your problems? And maybe even give you some new ones. And even if not me, there are tons of guys around here that would be more then ok with a hot swedish blond. Lots of tall , not too stinky , nerdy dudes here in SF. And not all of em are gay either. Some of us even kinda sorta speak english too.

46

If someone is trying to give something valuable away, there must be something wrong with it–especially a girl trying to give herself away.

I’m confused as to why you say that you don’t like one night stands, would rather make love than fuck, and don’t want a boyfriend, but do want a sex life.

Buy yourself a battery opperated cock and quit dating until you grow up some.

I would have put all this a bit more nicely, but Buttercup already did that and you didn’t take it very well. I’m a mom and I’ve also dated quite a few Taiwanese guys, even married and divorced one, so I know what I’m talking about.

47

[quote=“housecat”]If someone is trying to give something valuable away, there must be something wrong with it–especially a girl trying to give herself away.

I’m confused as to why you say that you don’t like one night stands, would rather make love than fuck, and don’t want a boyfriend, but do want a sex life.

Buy yourself a battery opperated cock and quit dating until you grow up some.

I would have put all this a bit more nicely, but Buttercup already did that and you didn’t take it very well. I’m a mom and I’ve also dated quite a few Taiwanese guys, even married and divorced one, so I know what I’m talking about.[/quote]

No one is giving anything away here. Man people are evil in this thread, but it’s ok. Go on hate me.

48

well, ya. For swedish guys (and probably for a lot of SF guys) it wouldn’t be too hard to find someone that meets my criteria. Usually everyone is above 175 to start with and everyone brushes their teeth and showers so my requirements in sweden are usually a lot more extensive. I can add 20 more things and still don’t have any problems finding a guy there (and there’s only ~4 million!!) but this is Taiwan = different rules.

49

well, ya. For swedish guys (and probably for a lot of SF guys) it wouldn’t be too hard to find someone that meets my criteria. Usually everyone is above 175 to start with and everyone brushes their teeth and showers so my requirements in sweden are usually a lot more extensive. I can add 20 more things and still don’t have any problems finding a guy there (and there’s only ~4 million!!) but this is Taiwan = different rules.[/quote]

Well you could wait till you are back in your normal haunts to date?

And just give the TW boys a miss. Or you could find some nice western guys on the island. I bet there are a few that are suitable?

50

well, ya. For swedish guys (and probably for a lot of SF guys) it wouldn’t be too hard to find someone that meets my criteria. Usually everyone is above 175 to start with and everyone brushes their teeth and showers so my requirements in sweden are usually a lot more extensive. I can add 20 more things and still don’t have any problems finding a guy there (and there’s only ~4 million!!) but this is Taiwan = different rules.[/quote]

I highlighted your last 6 words because I think you’re finally getting it. Dating in Taiwan is much, much, different than in Sweden because you are an outsider here but an insider there. When you’re inside your own culture you are going to have different criteria than when you date someone outside your culture. It may seem harsh, but you’ll either have to reevaluate your criteria, go without dating or try to find a new way to approach guys. The culture here doesn’t really allow for the direct approach method outside of clubs, and even then it’s not common from what I’ve seen. This just isn’t a casual dating culture.

You may think your criteria aren’t that demanding, but as other posters like Feiren have pointed out, they are and your methods of meeting guys isn’t working. Tall guys are in demand here. Hopefully so are guys with clean hygiene. Finding someone with real fluency in English is difficult. If you’re studying Chinese, then why not accept someone who isn’t fluent in English but could help your Chinese through dating? That or try to meet and date an ABC/CBC guy.

51

Dating is only the tip of the iceberg.

As some have pointed out and you have recognized, Taiwan = new rules. Your idea of dating, finding someone attractive and fun to share time I imagine, doesn’t fit well with traditional dating patterns here. Western guys often run into this problem with Taiwanese women. “Dating” is often perceived as a waste of time. Relationships are supposed to be “serious.” This leaves little room for casual dates or what you as a Westerner consider a normal sex life.

Options? You can bring it up with guys, saying you are learning about dating here and give your views on what dating means. You might find someone open to dating in a new way. It works sometimes. You can also try to adapt, go native, try or pretend to date in the traditional way, learn the language, etc. Between the two, you may find more success.

But even if you manage to find someone to “date,” I doubt it will be easy. Your understandings and expectations of gender roles, rights, and responsibilities will be challenged over and over again. Even if you get what you wish for, expect some shocks to come along with it. Living in Taiwan is this way. Just when you think you have it all figured out, things happen that just shock you. I enjoy the whole thing, and even if you aren’t enjoying it now, I think one day you will find yourself fondly remembering it all.

52

i still think you should just drop the criteria like, hang out with people, make friends, friends introduce you to friends. when you forget you desprate to have a man around to satisfy you in whatever way you need you might then start to meet people, you never know might even like one.

also if this was a guy saying i want a girl. tall, long legs, big tits, want her to fuck like a rabbit when i demand it etc etc would people still be saying it was harsh on her?

just hang out with people man. join some groups. i get the feeling it sounds like an auroa of desperate sorry to say it like.
and the whole self pity thing a bit higher up in this thread is a turn off to most men. ahh well. my advice could be shit i reckon you will just ignore it anyway :raspberry:

53

I wish my list was this short. I’m too damn picky. English speaker and good hygiene make perfect sense. And although we don’t all admit it, we all seek certain physical characteristics don’t we? I have met a couple girls that were in the 150-153cm range, I simply wasn’t attracted to them.

54

I think we all have our preferences, whether we want to state it or not.

Me i prefer 25 to 35, female, good looking figure and face, charming and sweet personality,
34.24.34 ish , under 120 pounds, loyal, good morals, healthy, wise. what else?
oh yeah dont forget great in bed, soft skin. OH yeah, preferably listens to me.

small things like that. :slight_smile:

55

[quote=“tommy525”][quote=“tina109”][quote=“tommy525”]Err if I was a girl I would probably not advertise too much about my “one night stands” . Just sayin.

We all want those girls but maybe not to err “date” ?

Maybe sometimes its good to be like madonna and be “like” a virgin?[/quote]

Oh that sucked. It’s not that I “advertise about my one-night-stands” sorry granpa - I want a sexlife! :astonished: Don’t worry, I don’t walk around with a big sign that says “HEY I am actually NOT a virgin!”[/quote]

Granpa? Hey those are pearls from the wolf himself ok? :slight_smile:

Well what I mean is that if its one night stands you are after, that shouldnt be difficult. Even Tommy can do that. But I think, especially in todays world where you can get AIDS and other very gross diseases, it really doesnt pay to sleep around. And its not the same, fucking and making love. I think making love is much much nicer then just the sex act with someone you picked up at a bar/club, who you really dont respect or have affection for?

Therefore why not value yourself a bit more and not rent yourself out or sell yourself cheap. IF you go to bed with someone who buys you a drink at a bar/club, thats selling yourself cheap. And then look carefully at the prospects that come your way?

Then when you have a BOYFRIEND, it will be a lot more awesome?

Just sayin.[/quote]

Tommy that’s a really good point.

Diseases are definitely my biggest deterrent to having reckless sex/one night stands. The opportunity cost/risk of getting a serious disease like Aids is definitely not worth the 20-30 minutes of sex. But, the odds of getting such diseases especially if protection is used is quite low.

I agree with you Tommy, I think that making love with your significant partner is much more meaningful and enjoyable than one night stands.

However, the OP can do whatever she wishes and I hope the best for her in her search for a nice Taiwanese man.

56

Yes I guess we all need to get some one nite stands out of the way it seems. I know I enjoyed mine. But I cant tell you how many times the rubber broke so there goes the safety aspect right there. You have just slept with every person that girl has slept with at that moment in time, doesnt matter how fast you can draw your gun out and its russian roulette you have just played and you wont know if you got that bullet in the head till months later.

The safety aspect was what kept me relatively low mileaged in my younger days. But in todays world…WOW. SCARY SHIT OUT THERE FOLKS. If you aint scared NOW, you had better be… I predict in the near future everyone planning on having sex with someone will first go together to a clinic (and they may become very much more common, like in your local Safeway) and check each other out for diseases first. I know I will. I am not going to go to bed with someone not checked out first. And that means relationships should come first. And actually thats the way it shouldve been in the first place. If you have a relationship based on sex, it will eventually crumble even if you marry her. I know, I speak from first hand experience on that !!

Beyond sex with a stranger, its so much more satisfying when you are pleasing someone you respect and care for and especially love. Thats what making love is about. Its beyond sex.

Sex is sex but making love to someone you love is on a different plateau. I think all who have been there can agree.

Aids, herpes, and other STDs are here to remind us. Fall in love, dont fall in sex.

guardian.co.uk/world/2009/ap … d-noangels

Bet you would figure you scored if you slept with that girl huh? I would have felt I scored, but …it aint worth it folks.

Most of my one nite stands I was wishing she would go home right after, I didnt even want to keep her all nite long!!

Why have that when you can be sleeping with the girl you love and what a difference that makes.

57

to the opposite of you i always hated my one night stands, totally hated them. and always thought it was better in a relationship.

and like you stds scare the shit out of me. they really do scare the shit out of me so fucking much.

58

To be honest… I had quite some fun reading this post that I have decided to register.
As a Taiwanese guy who grew up in the US, let me give you my take.

From the profile picture, I have to admit, you are a gorgeous looking girl.
However, your appearance and make up would attract mostly “players” here in Taiwan.
From what you have described… you aren’t interested in those who goes clubbing and all that.
In that case, for you to show your interest to those so called “home-boy” or “Otaku” or “Jai Nan”
they would totally be scared as you are not the type they are looking for!
They usually like the home-girl type… this is just from my observation and my opinion.

I actually know a few guys that falls into your category including myself… so I can’t imagine it being too hard…
Don’t give up on Taiwanese guys yet!

59

[quote=“nalayu”]I actually know a few guys that falls into your category including myself… so I can’t imagine it being too hard…
Don’t give up on Taiwanese guys yet![/quote]
First post and swinging for the fences! Well done, sir. :bravo:

Welcome aboard… and good luck with that. :smiley:

60

[quote=“Jaboney”][quote=“nalayu”]I actually know a few guys that falls into your category including myself… so I can’t imagine it being too hard…
Don’t give up on Taiwanese guys yet![/quote]
First post and swinging for the fences! Well done, sir. :bravo:

Welcome aboard… and good luck with that. :smiley:[/quote]

pastie smashing time hurrah :bravo: