Income disparity in dating

Life Dating & Relationships
41

Did she finally “Move out of parents place”?

Like food? @10K USD/year, and everything is expensive.

800K USD/yr, and a $100/day car rental, standard rate in US, is breaking your bank.

Why not have 8 ridiculously spoiled girlfriends, trade them all in at the end of the year, and still put away a king’s ransom for retirement. Or fuck, hire somebody to find your unicorn.

It’s a movie script that writes itself:

Lonely and unlucky in love coding-maestro hires local gal with solid head on shoulders, but she wears glasses and dresses like she rides a god blessed moped everywhere she goes. There are the expected comedic ups&downs, and they develop an unexpected rapport…

Our cheap-ass hero seems to be on the verge of pulling his head out, and lo, the perfectly beautiful prize female is discovered, who is likewise moneyed, and championed by her own nerdhunk-but-poor-accountant-cum-matchmaker dude.

He snaps out of the realistic perspective he was beginning to develop and courting proceeds apace. Combat is waged, who is the cheapest, which of them is gold-digging the other? blah blah blah, until the matchmaker moped underdog puts on a pair of contact lenses, and dénouement.

Flash forward to our underdog xiaojie, and she is in white and lace. The usual hectic cut scenes of teary moms and the ribbing of our story’s hero by groomsmen. cut to the aisle, where he waits nervously, and she takes her father’s arm, cue the march from Midsummer’s Night Dream. A shot of them grasping hands, and as she looks up we see the nerd-hunk accountant. And our hero marries the other myopic insecure rich person.

Because until the universe tells you no, you are going to do both what you want, and what you think you should.

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42

They hire foreign workers for manufacturing job because they can pay peanuts and treat them like dogs. They can have dangerous working conditions and if they complain, they are dealt with.

Has nothing to do with entitlement.

Just think about how hot it is in Taiwan, and 90% of all factories are not climate controlled! Think about how hard it is to just sit still and think without AC in the middle of july, and imagine actually doing work.

Yea most Taiwanese rather work retail than do that, especially when the pay is exactly the same.

43

Aspiring screenwriter? :thinking:

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44

Richard Gere / Pretty Woman ?

45

No, I’m just a bot, scraping the bottom of the internet’s shoe for the tasty bits.

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46

I think he’s talking about not supporting those with out of control spending habits.
A friend of mine will pay for a lot of things for his wife but when it comes to her designer handbag purchasing addiction, he insists she use her own money to fund that. Same when she decides she wants to take a two week all inclusive Tokyo tour.

47

I always figured income should come out a little later in the relationship. That way you know they love you for you.

48

I do completely agree with you. But what i am adding to that is that taiwanese younger generations are extremely entitled. not just my opinion, but the opinion.of many companies, families, friends and etc we deal with. Ask someone you know to sweep the floor and see how poorly they understand the simple logic of a clean floor. This goes beyond labour, but also education and societal failures. To be fair, it isnt just taiwan, its often a result of countries that experience extreme wealth and future generations juat accepting rather than giving. There are good arguments on both sides.

But in absolute fact, younger taiwanese are lazy and entitled as the best of them. This is insanely obvious, and to avoid the conversation is outrageous. I am more loyal to my long term home in in tiwan, so dont take it as a us vs you thing. Take it as an I am you thing as most of m life is in taiwan and am commited as anyone to improve it. Patriotic people call out bs. And taiwanese younger folk are absurdly lazy and entitled, patriotic duty to make that known. On the flip side, patriotic duty to point out the insane abuse against humanity tiwan plays in labour. I am not shy on those points either :wink: all are true, but still wrong.

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49

She’ll drop them all like a hot potato soon once her parents set her up with that rich guy in his 50s they know.

When I was a lot younger I was chatting with a girl from Taipei (friends only) that had tons of pictures of her at the brass monkey all the time with a new guy on her arm each time. She told me of all the escapades. A year ago I wondered what ever happened to her so I did a fb search. Married to a manager in his 50s and now has two kids, former life on fb scrubbed clean.

50

This thread is funny. Half of the responses are ripping on the OP for being good with money? As long as he is comfortable with his standard of living - that is what matters. This isn’t being untruthful about what he makes, it is being responsible (within his lifestyle comfort zone) , and saving for the future/ retirement. Haters gonna hate.

As for the actual question at hand, there has been some good advice. I don’t think moving away from Taiwan will change any of the issues that the OP is facing, mind you.

The only advantage is that prospective partners (in Western countries) are more likely to be OK with not taking about income etc, and if it comes to it, separate bank accounts and /or a pre-nup. Western women in general seem to be more accepting when it comes to keeping finances separate, but imho, it comes to a point in your relationship where that doesn’t really work, aside from discretionary spending accounts.

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51

Not read all the posts but op says gf would lose all motivation to earn /keep a job if she sound out he earns a lot… so… wrong person … no matter what the culture…

If income disparity is a big deal, why not just date someone who is is used to having $$.

52

Used to having money and used to making money are two different things. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be with a trust fund baby.

53

The most laughable part about your ridiculous problem is that you actually believe income disparity (in this case, broke women) doesn’t exist in Canada or the US.

Apparently offensive sweeping generalisations about millions of people are acceptable in 2020 on Forumosa.

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54

No, but discussions about general trends are. Especially given the dire situation with finding employees. employers are not much better, if you dont mind one more generalization.

When talking about whole countries, generalizations are common. Be it taiwan or otherwise.

55

You need an ironclad prenuptial agreement, which means you and your woman each need your own attorneys to represent you in the negotiation of the prenuptial agreement.

The prenuptial should give her a set allowance/alimony for some period of time, as well as some reasonable retirement money. But you don’t need to give away half your assets.

If she objects, and says “No! When we divorce I get half of everything!” Well, she just played her hand (Don’t marry).

Edit to add: I know how prenups work in the U.S., I have no idea how they work in Taiwan. Talk with a respected Taiwan attorney who has a reputation for negotiating and litigating such issues.

56

There’s a screenplay within a screenplay here. Bot scraping the bottom of the internet’s shoe for the tasty bits writes screenplay for Hollywood blockbuster Oscar-winning movie, but nobody knows it’s a bot.

Because OP’s self-described lifestyle of “living like a local” isn’t likely to attract well-to-do partners.

Per @Leggat, a quick glance at the OP’s post history reveals someone who is either exaggerating his income or extraordinarily obsessively frugal or less generously, miserly. I mean, someone making $840,000 USD per year but trying to see if he’s eligible for the $800 NTD/day quarantine subsidy? Complaining that a $100 USD/day car rental is expensive and calling the $150 NT cost of a bottle of apple cider vinegar “insane”?!

If OP isn’t exaggerating his income, this isn’t really about a fear of an income disparity. This is a classic case of money hoarding disorder, which is probably OCPD.

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57

I dunno, though. I’ve met a lot of rich people who are rich because they’re skinflints. I’m thinking of a particular old lady who owns millions of US$ worth of land bringing in a couple of hundred thousand a year, but still eats pauper food.

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58

Hey, he could probably retire in 10 years or less if he invested all that money and lived off fixed income and dividend stocks he owns for the next 50.

59

You can look on youtube of people who lived penny pinching off middle class salaries for like 10-15 years to retire and live off their investments. They still live very frugally and minimalistic when they retire, but some people are happy to not have to keep working. I totally get it.

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60

There’s a difference between being reasonably frugal and being miserly.

Someone who makes $840,000 USD per year posting online for advice about where to buy bulk apple cider vinegar because $150 NT/bottle ($5.25 US) is “insane”? This goes way beyond frugality.

You’re in the top 1% in the US with a salary above around $550,000/year. The OP says he’s well beyond that. He’s not “rich” because he’s shaving a buck off a few bottles of apple cider vinegar. He’s losing money spending 5 minutes of his very valuable time on this.

Also, the OP had also posted “I need to find an accountant for this year” and apparently moved here before he knew how to deal with income sourcing.

$840,000/year and you don’t have an accountant and don’t know how to protect your foreign-sourced income from improper taxation?

I’m going out on a very short limb here and saying this is either a really bad case of OCD or an exaggeration. It’s not about an income disparity.

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