A husband comes home to his wife after being fired from the pickle factory.
His wife asks him “So what happened?”
The husband explains “I often get bored at work and today my mind was wandering and I thought to myself ‘what would happen if I stuck my penis inside the pickle slicer?’”
The wife is clearly blindsided by this confession and doesn’t know what to say next. Eventually she says to him “That was an incredibly stupid and unsafe thing to do but at least you’re all in one piece.”
The husband appreciates his wife’s response and says “I suppose you’re right.”
To lighten the mood the wife asks cheerfully “So what happened to the pickle slicer?”
The husband takes a moment and says “Oh, she was fired too.”
Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without aers.
When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said, ‟What a beautiful baby.” The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny.‟ Johnny said, ”He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?‟
”Yes‟, the mother replied, ”we’re so thankful; the Doctor said he’ll have 20/20 vision.‟
”That’s great‟, said Little Johnny, ”cause he’d be fucked if he needed glasses!‟
