Ok guys calm down. Relationships break down. Bad matches are made . People are at different stages of their lives. Give and take is all in there too.
But yeah better not to get married if you aren’t 1000% sure.
Harsh but I got that feeling too over the years. Maybe not disrespect but let’s say she was getting a lot of benefits for minimal contribution.
It sucks that it takes some people that long to figure out they don’t actually want kids.
As a parent, FOMO is being afraid of miss out on spending time with my child.
that is at least one too many on paper 
there are more sheilas in the world get back on the horse when you fall off one they say
oh yes i pamper my kitties wayyyyyyyyyyy too much . oh well, its ok though
hear hear, i go one step further and raise you how about DONT get married at all. There ya go. Fixed !
Marriage wouldn’t be bad if the marriage contract was available in writing with all its terms negotiable and clearly spelled out like any other contract. The problem is when a man finds out what’s really in the marriage contract it’s too late.
me dad had it right, he said marriage license should be like a drivers license , automatically up for renewal every five years. And each party can agree or not agree so its automatically nulled if they dont sign up for another five. Reasonable i say.
Kids get their own contract, their parents are tied up with them till they reach 20 (the asian age of becoming an adult) rather than 18. YOu breed em you pay for em.
Affirmative consent. It’s easy. Not a big deal. Don’t play the no means yes game. Don’t know why this is a complaint, still. This was a big thing starting in the 90s.
You’re willing to risk a 15 year jail sentence for non-consensual sex on the basis of a verbal agreement? Brave man.
How do u get a woman to contribute though when they are raised to believe the man should do everything and pay for everything? But the current cultural evolution is at the point where they can’t even cook.
In Tommy’s situation, let’s not forget there was an imbalance on countries of origin and income. She came from a much poorer country, so perhaps she never really had the time in her teens to rebel, play the field, etc. Not that what she did to Tommy was necessarily ethical, but in her 30s seems to be yearning for the freedom of late teen/early 20s years…but in doing so, may find the quest is sad, particularly as she enters menopause years.
Probably became Americanized too. If she went there at such a young age she basically would have grown up there to an extent.
Some foriegners who come here in their early 20s pick up the language and adopt quite well, even getting into the music. As opposed to me who came in my thirties and wouldn’t listen to Asian pop music if you paid me.
Yes, I remember when I brought my Taiwan wife to Canada for a visit (long before we returned to Canada for many years). My shoelace was untied and my wife tied it for me out of kindness.
My mother, the matriarch of our family, a feminist/union president/prof, said to her “This is Canada–we don’t do that shit”.
I cut her off and said, don’t preach culture, especially the Simone De Beauvoir shit! 
In my opinion you can take the role of a provider and pamper a girl but as long as she respects you, it’s fine.
What I got out of the relationship from what you told us is she doesn’t respect you and you barely respect yourself. Which is why I quoted where you have to ask permission to drive a car you bought. No way. You have to be the leader in the relationship.
Sorry if I’m piling on in a bad situation. I mean it with the best intentions.
The money quote. If that’s your escape plan though, tommy, I wouldn’t get my hopes up.
I have found the best medicine for acceptance, healing and moving on is forgiveness and empathy. Once I forgave her, and myself, day to day life became much easier. We keep in touch and she sees the boys once or twice a week. She will leave the island soon which will be another issue i’ll just have to accept and move on from. On the bright side my boys are happy, its been 5 months since she left and they haven’t shown any depression or even asked where she is or she isn’t living here anymore. Like I said, they’ve always spent most of the time with me anyway. As for dating and apps, I find real life encounters are much better. In Penghu I benefit from supply and demand. Very few single foreign males so I get a lot of matches and have met many women. It has been great to do so after being loyal to one person for so long. I am currently a man whore and am just letting myself have fun. The girls I speak to know about the boys, bring them treats and toys, and we wait until the boys are asleep to have fun Try approaching women and asking them “How do you say…in Chinese?” or whatever ice breaker you want. Get LINES, chat with them, then set up dates. I’ve found it to be a snowball effect and my love life couldn’t be any better. I wish you luck man.
No brainwashing, she doesn;t see them enough to brainwash them haha. My dad was not around when I grew up, so I told myself I would be a great father to them. So I was the one who always did play time and dinners and shower time and story time and bed time, it has not been a difficult transition for the children at all.
This was my situation exactly. I paid for everything, did most things for the children, gave her all the free time she could ever want, and financed her solo travels for years. I thought I was doing it out of love, but maybe I thought if I took care of here she would never leave, it backfired completely LOL Turned her into a spoiled princess who didn’t appreciate anything and easily abandoned her children because she wasn’t responsible for them anyway.
at least they left us the kids haha (Drew and Brian)