The situation is the following: foreign spouse can communicate in Chinese well, Taiwanese spouse can’t communicate in English well, how does it affect a serious relationship such as marriage? (Being able to just greet or ask the price of things, or say you are sick etc is not being able to communicate in a foreign language ‘marriage level’.
Because of the high rate of marital problems and divorce among friends that can’t speak a common language with their spouse I decided to open this thread and discussion. Maybe the people who are dating in such situation can benefit from this discussion.
What I think is this (as I have posted in another marriage problems thread):
On another note, how do you guys marry someone with whom you can’t communicate fully and throughly?
If one is not fluent in Chinese the other should be fluent in English, or the other way around, as long as there is a common ground language.
Marriages are already hard, intercultural marriages even harder, without a language where you can express everything (or at least deep enough stuff) I don’t see as a marriage.
To me it something is going on above the marriage thing in these relationships. Either they are in love with appearance, sex, or just infatuated with someone, to which all will vanish in time.
To marry you need to have communication. The friends I have that we’re married in this situation (foreigner barely know Chinese Taiwanese spouse also can’t communicate well in English) divorced, are in terrible marriages, or are heading for divorce.
I have a few friends infatuated with their Taiwanese love bird and they are very intelligent communicate people. We can talk deeply about so many things, it is already in their personality to be very well articulated communicators and not shallow people. So, I started asking a few of them (very close friends) ‘can you discuss this that we just discussed with Mr/Mrs girl/boyfriend?’ And their answer is ‘I don’t need to, you just know when someone has a good heart’.