Is it because I gif’ed you with Michael Scott?
You know it’s just for fun , as they say on the casting couch 
I believe it. Guys and girls are just as interested in movies. And most people don’t come across someone like you who would know first hand possibly. I’ve never talk about celebrities life outside of major events, but I’ll see my sister in a picture with someone that I’m a fan of in films and ask about that. But I’ve honestly rarely hear guys talk about celebrities much. Some do, some are big gossipers for sure. But you can see most of these celebritiy gossip stuff marketed towards women. Some women don’t like it, not saying all do. I’ve met plenty who are even less clued in than me.
Yes, I’m not saying women can be supportive and always back stab. Certainly not the case. And some support groups I’ve seen do wonders. My mom is part of a breast cancer survivor group and they’re pretty good. I suppose the nature of the group has a lot to do with it. Although it’s not technically a women’s group. (Yes, men can get breast cancer if you’re wondering)
But I think if you look at the male and female demographics and ratio on forumosa. It’s sort of clear in general most women won’t be interested in this type of thing. And even within forumosa, women participate in some forums way more and some almost not at all compared to the men. Everyone is of course different, but in general I think men and women are different and for the better in most part. It wouldn’t be nice for me to date someone who acted, behaved and thought just like me.
I can believe that.
Agree
Agree… Unfortunately. I do think marketing needs to keep up with human evolution if they’re smart enough to know how to expand their market and make more dollars (so much untapped potential going to waste!).
I believe this.
Sympathies, Andrew. Hope your mom is hoppin’ now.
Haha. Yet we gossip so much on here! I’m inclined to agree on the demo, but I my instinct is that it might be the male skewing population here that scares a lot (not all, obviously) of them away. Think of all the unpleasant flame wars and petty smack talks that have happened on Forumosa.
I… am not sure we truly know the precise demo of all the members here. I did a moderators lunch a few years ago, and not gonna out anyone specifically since it’s up to them to reveal personal info. But suffice it to say, quite a couple of 'em were not who I pictured them to be. I was wrong on more than one account (even thought to myself, “but I was so confident”).
That’s because, as you said:
Basically, here’s what’s up: People are people. Having a certain organ between your legs instead of another doesn’t exempt or immune you from any type of behavior. If you’re an asshole, swapping out your testicles for a pair of ovaries doesn’t cure the fact that you’re still an asshole.
Here’s another thought exercise:
Have you ever felt misunderstood, or prejudged because of your appearance? Have people ever made snap assumptions about you before that you’ve proved them wrong on?
Yes, it’s easy for us to assume and generalize. And it’s convenient to assume and to generalize. But people are individuals. Perhaps *sometimes * they also choose to do things a certain way, because that’s what they’ve been taught by society– as babies, as toddlers, as kids, and maybe in some scenarios it isn’t a hassle to provide strangers what they expect to receive.
But what good did it do the people who have misjudged or prejudged you, to make those snap judgments? How did they benefit from that, as opposed to letting you, Andrew, show them who you are first? Because I’m guessing it certainly didn’t make you feel like a birthday boy, being treated that way. It’s a lose-lose situation that way.
And especially in the workplace, where efficiency is key, it would be to the detriment of companies to waste time (and by extension, money) on having to course correct from their initial errors.
Obviously, this is how I roll. Everyone operates differently. And in the context of this discussion, I’ve definitely met some serious douchebags and morons who were female (shitheads of all forms are out there, and they’re-a-plenty). But I don’t go around seriously saying “oh, you’re black, this must mean you’re xyz, because generally, black people are totally ___” or “oh, you’ve got a vagina, for sure you’re this or that, because generally broads are ___” or (god forbid) “oh, you’re asian, I’m so sorry for your girlfriend (if you even have one), because [insert your choice of reductive generalization]” <– All those wide-casting assumptions are easy, convenient, dumb as all hell, often completely off-base, and most of all, don’t help me in any way, shape or form.
By the way, even first impressions can often be deceptive (I’m sure you know this). Humans are weird.
are we living in different worlds?
The ratio of men doing gossiping/back talking/backstabbing is similar to the ratio of women around me.
And, on this forum, I read threads on relationships created by men from time to time.
I’m 6’2". I’m constantly ducking and hunching over to avoid bumping my head in a world designed for people who are shorter than me, which messes with my posture. Looking at many ATMs, the buttons to the side align with the wrong words on the screen unless I hunch over. People assume I must know how to play basketball, and I’m always being asked to get things down from the high shelf. And don’t get me started on airplane seats. Short people don’t know how good they’ve got it.
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Because generalizing from past experiences and information available is useful. and helps you make decisions. I think it’s not possible to say you or anyone else do no look at someone and make instant judgments, our brain is evolved to to do this for survival. If you found a way to turn this off, let me know. The only problem is if you do not make adjustments to new information given.
Consider the following scenarios.
I am the captain picking players for my basketball team. For my first pick I see three guys of which i’ve never seen play. One is a 6’8 black guy who has giant python arms with veins popping out wearing michael jordan shoes. 2nd is a 5’8 man of hispanic background with a Cristiano Rolando jersey on. 3rd is a 5’10 white guy with skater shoes. Are you going to really not make prejudgments based on their physical appearance, clothes they picked to wear or the sake of possibly making them not feel like a birthday boy. Maybe the 6’8 black is terrible at basketball and likes to play pokemon card games and the mexican man actually hates soccer but his grandma gave him that shirt today for his brithday and he wore it to make her happy. But all the previous experiences tell me the 6’8 black guy wearing Jordan basketball shoes is probably going to be good at basketball. Now if I watch all 3 play and see it’s actually the skater guy thats the best and I still won’t believe at the 6’8 black guy is bad at basketball and a white guy can play, yeah that would be stupid.
What if i’m a police officer looking for a chinese triad group who recently robbed a bank in my area. Do I somehow find a way to turn off all my pre judgements and not spend most of my time looking for people who might be in the Chinese triad…which would be chinese people because of the fear of prejudgments and making the person not feel great? I don’t think so. It would only be stupid to gather new evidence like the guy is actually korean and still be convince he is a Chinese triad member.
We are developed evolutionary to make judgements consciously and subconsciously. Animals make themselves big to make themselves seem more of a threat, we do the same. We read body language, facial expressions really well. We take in visual information and process them faster than any computer, and i doubt you are able to not do this.
So if i’ve gathered from my entire life that men and women generally are different in many ways from relationships, communication, temperament, behaviors, interests, personality, etc. And I don’t use this information along with the long list of psychological studies from men and women which can been observed as young as infants. I think that’s stupid. But people vary, it’s not like all men are exactly like one way and all women are exactly like one way. There are degrees of personality that everyone score differently on, but in general there is a difference between men and women and how their relationships are.
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Yeah, even thinking back to when I taught. Boys and girls behaved very differently than the girls. All girls classes were particularly troublesome, the bullying was very passive aggressive like shunning one girl who was a bit more “weird” Not sitting next to her, whispering, no talking to her. The boys would occasionally fight directly with words or even sometimes physical. Very different. If you have not noticed the differences in male and female relationships, idk where you have been.
I didn’t like my high school so much, but I must have been lucky that classes at the school was not like you describe.
Strange. So in your schools, girls and boys did not show any difference in behaviors? They evenly took the same interest in subjects, behaved the same in class rooms, took interest in the same extra curricular activity. I’ve never seen this, and i’ve changed maybe 10+ different schools in different countries, states and cities.
If I had children, I would send them to single sex schools. More than one study has shown they do better in single sex education.
http://www.singlesexschools.org/research-singlesexvscoed.htm
from which parts of my posts, did you get the impression that I was saying so?
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From you saying you don’t notice a difference in relationships between men and women. which would entail interests, communication styles, behaviors, temperament, personalities since these are the basis of how relationships are formed.
You call being, as you described, “backstabbed” — useful? Yeesh.
Your example 1: Clothes and attire are choices. Which organ you are born with isn’t. Doesn’t work.
Your example 2: You just said the cop is looking for someone who is in the Chinese triad. Why would they look for Korean triads… What? This example makes no sense. That, or you’ll need to explain it again in different words.
Yes of course I do it. But that’s taking in ALL the visual information, cues, and in context. I don’t blind myself to and reduce an individual to “walking vaj” and extrapolate a whole carnival of judgment on that person based SOLELY on one single piece of item.
You just said everyone is different. So, are you now saying these two things are mutually exclusive? Or does this quoted statement basically fall under “everyone is different”.
Agree. Further, I have zero belief that gender rules exist on the personality spectrum. For example, on the asshole side of the spectrum – just because a person is male or female, doesn’t make them more or less of an asshole. If you’re a grade A asshole, you’re a muthahumpin’ grade A asshole. What’s grown between your legs ain’t gonna lessen your shitty personality. If you’re a backstabbing douchenozzle, you’re in my book not gonna be able to use your gender to excuse yourself from your actions (“oh no, I’m a saintly woman, I can’t possibly be a backstabbing douchenozzle!” — Shut up, Ashley.). Regardless of gender, if you’re a backstabbing douchenozzle, you best own your sh*t or coward’s gonna be another fun label added to your reputation.
More links! 
https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2015/11/brains-men-and-women-aren-t-really-different-study-finds
https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-019-00677-x
This one’s even from the same website with one of yours 
Perhaps the point here is that female assholes are not the same as male assholes (there’s probably a prison-related joke in there somewhere).
The bitchy, backstabbing phenomenon in girl groups that Andrew refers to absolutely is a thing. Men are much more direct and physical when it comes to bullying. Both behaviours are dysfunctional.
It must be awful . Is there a helpline you can call ?
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You ask for interest and consent for one, you look out for soap dropping for the other? Me drank much whiskey. Me no great at making them jokes at dis here juncture.
Still, I think that’s an everyone thing. Like, I would agree that there may be an actual, noticeable difference maybe, if you said NYC a-holes are not the same as Parisian a-holes. Or LA douchebags VS Italian douchebags. Geographical nurturing honestly is way, way more glaring in a personality than the personality “differences” a pair of ovaries/testicles can ever make.
Sure.
You’ve never visited NY, New Jersey, Boston, Texas, Louisiana, Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, or the California Orange County? And that’s just the ones I’ve personally witnessed (although if you haven’t seen women rage-brawl, it’s probably for the best (it’s scary AF). I am also now somewhat low key questioning the bars, clubs, music events that I’ve chosen to attend or found myself pulled to).
I think yeah, the “phenomenon” could very well be “a thing”, I can’t super argue with this and neither do I want to. I am however, confident that it’s been marketed as “a thing” because of what the media (including my industry — not letting ourselves completely off the hook here) chooses to publicize. It’s dramatic, it’s enticing, it draws eyeballs and viewership, which of course translates to $$$. Whether or not when you see it “in real life” is a self-propagating prophecy… Is another discussion for another day.
No, you seem to caught up with back stabbing also. Let’s say ways of communication. Generalizations help because we have to use the limited information given sometimes. And changing out opinions of people upon new information is how our brain works or should work. But anyways, behavioral differences can be noticed in infants before any outside factors, they exist. We even notice the differences in chimps who are so similar to us. One of them is differences in communication and conflict resolution.
Male chimpanzees also participate in more direct physical aggression than females, both within communities during competition for dominance status and between communities during cooperative territorial defense
Of course it works. We are talking about generalizations of people and if they’re useful. If a person wears a Yankees hat, I’m guessing he’s a Yankees fan.
The cop looks for a Chinese man, sees a Korean and can’t differentiate. But finds out he is Korean so obviously he is probably not in the Chinese mafia.
A piece of information. I think you’re getting to caught up with the idea of me saying gender results in definitive traits. This is not what I’m saying. I’m saying it does have impact and it’s perfectly ok for me to see a man I’m trying to makes friends without knowing much to guess some topics males usually like. I’m unlikely going to ask him what he thinks about the Kardashian’s first like I’m unlikely to ask the girl who she thinks should be MVP this year, James Harden or Giannis, under normal circumstances unless the guy is holding a gossip magazine and the girl is wearing a harden jersey. Then I use this information to formulate ways to communicate with them. Is is basically how people learn to figure each other out.
I’m not saying all women are back stabbing asshole which seem to be what you objecting to. I’m not saying only women can be assholes. But that I’m general, in a large sample size of human being. The differences result in more of one type of asshole behavior than other. I’ve lived in a fraternity house, membership to men’s only clubs. Men just behave differently than women when in large groups.
I think it’s important to understand what I mean. The differences may be small to much larger than we have found. There has been some back and forward on how much difference is there. But no one denies that there are some differences basically. These things usually come in at a bell curve. Everyone one comes in at a different place on the bell curve, but in a large enough sample size we began to really see the differences.
So for example, Ashkenazi Jews are 2 standard deviations higher on average IQ to the rest of the population. Which is pretty significant if you are statistically literate. It does not mean all ashkenazi Jews are 2 standard deviations higher in IQ, it does not mean if you’re a ashkenazi Jew that you’re also high in IQ, it does not mean all Ashkenazi Jews are high in IQ. You can be the retarded outlier that pulls down the overall average or the other side of the bell curve like Einstein. But in a large enough sample size, it’s more evident to see the differences.
This was horrible. Wow, idk if he’s willingfully ignorant or what.
Our hormones are the same. They function the same ways and we all have the same hormones … there are no “male” or “female” hormones. There is some important variation in hormone levels and patterns, and there are some differences in how the hormones interact with male and female bodies. On average, men tend to have a higher resting levels of some androgens (like testosterone), and females may have higher levels of certain reproductive hormones like Follicle Stimulating Hormone or Estradiol at certain times in their menstrual cycles. However, these same reproductive hormones also work in men and are involved in the process of sperm production.
This is completely off based. Yes, males and females have testosterone and estrogen. But the levels are completely different and there’s evidence to suggest there are more receptors in males and the sensitivity of the receptors to androgens like testosterone and DHT is different. Androgens cause aggression and is shown to cause people to work together better in studies. It makes a huge difference. Ask any man how he feels when he’s 21 and 50 with lower testosterone level, there’s a reason why so many go on hormone replacement therapy. It is literally also the reason for our different body structures from bone and gentital formation. To simply underplay this is insane, I guess he is a anthropologist so maybe I give him a pass. But there’s a reason why people who get sex changes take hormones and block hormones. They are powerful. He also down plays estradiol changes for women during their cycles like it’s nothing, it’s powerful causing changes mentally, emotionally and physically.
Our brains are also hardwire to rewire from past behaviors. If testosterone is known to cause more aggressive behaviors, it would be perfectly reasonable to see repeated behaviors of rewired after a long period of time.
This means that physiologically, male and female genitals are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways.
Is this guy for real? Yes same “stuff”, it’s true but they function very differently. It’s like saying our hands and feet are made of the same stuff and work in similar ways. But it’s not the same is it?
He than goes on to say men and women have the same amount of sex but many studies show men on average have more. However many show that a minority percentage of men are having the majority of sex. While women are more equally distributed. We see that in animals like the chimps also.
The guy basically says we have a lot of similarities, which is common sense. We are humans but completely down plays how even minor differences can result in major differences after multiple factors and large enough scale. Terrible. And I notice the comments had many objections to the article as well.
Not when you generalize someone in a way that not only doesn’t help you, but likely hurt you.
Perhaps in the basic stuff. But do you toss your feces at people?
Negative generalizations of human personalities.
I have done that before. MANY a times been proven wrong. Lot’s of bandwagon sheep in this world, sadly.
Ok.
It might surprise you, but I think it does affect people. But I do think it’s minuscule and negligible, especially considering and compared to (as I’ve stated with Finley) geographical nurturing of that person. I’d use that as consideration way up top of the checklist when I’m expecting and/or generalizing a person’s behavior before what they have between their legs.
Sure. I’m definitely a bit more likely to bring up the UFC with men than women. That’s besides the point. Again, the root discussion was negative generalizations of human personalities based on sexual organ.
I will ask, though, do you think it’s predominantly because of societal nurturing/conditioning from birth? Undeniably there was a structure set up from the cave man times, and though I think we’ve largely evolved past that in terms of neurology, I still think there’s a fraction of the previous generation’s influence that gets passed down, and diluted just a bit each time. Basically, human behavior hasn’t caught up with nature’s evolution of our physiology quite yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever live to 100, or even 50. But I’ll admit I’m quite curious what the future would look like for humans.
So now we’re talking about hive mentality? I wouldn’t necessarily disagree on a very face value, but it’s a different topic altogether.
Btw, I’ve also spent a notable amount of time and had membership in a couple of men’s clubs. I’ve since left (not because it wasn’t pleasant — my impression still remains that they’re very supportive, honest and helpful environments. It just wasn’t useful to me past a certain point).
One thing I have observed is that by and large with these men’s or women’s oriented clubs, there seems to be an outsized number of women’s clubs that promote that they are for women, +queer and gay folk (so you could be a gay man and still be admitted and allowed membership). I haven’t seen a single men’s club market themselves that way. Perhaps Italy is different. Have you? Why do you think that is?
—
Originally I was short on time so I had only planned to leave this comment, but I will just tag it here:
Consider why tando, hanna149, myself, etc question your reality. And then consider why you are puzzled by ours. The world can feel small at times, but there are 7 billion people, and billions of communities among them, which all work differently. Live more, meet more people. Which leads me to…
Generally (see what I did there?) I’ve consistently found that when you expect the best of someone, they’ll step up to the plate (and even often times even surpass your expectations). It’s not even really a conscious thing. People sense it. When they sense that you see the good in them, they’ll let that good shine. Trust is a fragile thing, I know, and it’s tough to give. Sometimes I have doubts from my preconceived notions about someone, but then I cross my fingers and hand them my trust. On a few occasions they’d fall short, or disappoint. But most of the time people don’t shoulder that trust you’ve given them lightly, and when they live up to it, it’s the best thing ever. On the largest of scales, I truly believe people want to do good and make good IF they are given the choice. But of course, life often just gets in the way and you get blinded by and/or caught up with the million little things. I’ve been guilty of being trapped in that blinded survival mode in more ways than one.
On the flip side, if you meet a person and right off the bat expect them to burn you, bracing for asshole behavior, then it’s honestly too easy for them to sniff that fear and that doubt, and oblige you with their worst tendencies. “If you go looking for trouble, you’ll find it.” —Right? Life can be a series of confirmation biases and self-propagating prophecies. Perhaps society and passed-down conventions have taught us one way, but if you can consciously pin point that out, and life hack your way into a scenario that’s to your advantage, that benefits you, that draws good people into your life (or encourages good behavior from the people who are caught up in survival), then you can not only let those good experiences and new friends enrich you and benefit you, but it’ll also be a win-win for them, too.
*Steps off soap box *