The Really Chaps My Ass Thread

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41

MM:

Perhaps this should be in its own thread, but how long did you spend on the hike? Was the bus waiting to pick you up as soon as you hit a surfaced road on the other side?

And I’m a bit puzzled by those references to the swimming holes. I count the trail to Ilan as starting only after you get to the end of the asphalt road, where there’s a suspension bridge on the left. There’s a good place for swimming by the bridge, and several quite good places for swimming fairly close to it upstream, but after about ten minutes, once you’ve crossed a largish stream flowing in from the right, the river is very shallow and there are no more swimmable places that I’ve ever found. (I’ve swum in every swimmable place along the whole 18-km length of the Tonghou Stream between there and Wulai, and think I know it like the back of my hand, though I’ve not been up there very often in the last couple of years or so.)

Anyway, I’m glad to hear it was a good hike in company with good people. I’d love to have been free to go with you, but I’d have been feeling mightily ass-chapped by the others’ unpunctuality and the dilly-dallying up to noon.

Oh, and one more question: Were there any pretty xiaojies among the reporters, and did they join you on the hike?

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[quote=“Omniloquacious”]MM:

Perhaps this should be in its own thread, but how long did you spend on the hike? Was the bus waiting to pick you up as soon as you hit a surfaced road on the other side?

And I’m a bit puzzled by those references to the swimming holes. I count the trail to Yilan as starting only after you get to the end of the asphalt road, where there’s a suspension bridge on the left. There’s a good place for swimming by the bridge, and several quite good places for swimming fairly close to it upstream, but after about ten minutes, once you’ve crossed a largish stream flowing in from the right, the river is very shallow and there are no more swimmable places that I’ve ever found. (I’ve swum in every swimmable place along the whole 18-km length of the Tonghou Stream between there and Wulai, and think I know it like the back of my hand, though I’ve not been up there very often in the last couple of years or so.)

Anyway, I’m glad to hear it was a good hike in company with good people. I’d love to have been free to go with you, but I’d have been feeling mightily ass-chapped by the others’ unpunctuality and the dilly-dallying up to noon.

Oh, and one more question: Were there any pretty xiaojies among the reporters, and did they join you on the hike?[/quote]

The swimming holes I am talking about are all within an hour (maybe less) of the suspension bridge so we may be talking about the same places. The group was moving slowly and we had lunch a few minutes after starting. The holes may have seemed further up than they were if you walked to them straight and at your usual pace.

Anyway, the trail is as I said, widended a bit, 1-2 metres wide in most places, very clean for the most part, and of course highly scenic. There are km posts, and signposts along the way to direct you to other trails, including 3-4 small mountains. The trail up to Ho something sounds interesting as trailhacker says there is a large pristine river you must cross with deep pools and an abundance of fish. It may even be the Gupuliao.

It takes 3 hours from the suspension bridge to the end where the jeep track starts (we took about 4 hours). About 15 minutes down the jeep track the locals have put up a sign with a telephone number you can call if you want a ride down to Jiaoshi. We called and were picked up in 10 minutes.

There was one pretty girl in the group.

43

The fact that my boss has included a daily 60 minute private english class with her 2 spoilt, obnoxious children Monday to Friday in my weekly roster, without mentioning it in the interview or the 70 subsequent phone calls before I moved here…

Oh - and the ignorant, dumbarse fucks that use the empty lot underneath my bedroom window as a dumping ground/public toilet…

Cant wait till summer…

44

When a great big bunch of water falls out of the sky. At least it falls in small pieces. Otherwise we’d be buggered.

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Amen! :imp: Makes me want to shoulder-ram the person passing by…I refuse to acquiesce.[/quote]

I usually do.

What chaps my ass is 3AM and my upstairs neighbor is still keeping me awake. Sadly, they will wake me up again at 8. The son keeps me up all night, the mother wakes me up in the morning.

What else: Girls who have to be taken to the hospital when something bad happens. I’ve met 4 of these in the past 3 years. Husband cheats on you, go to the hospital. Boyfriend breaks up with you, go to the hospital. Man who you broke up with 3 years prior wants his stuff back, go to the hospital.
What the fuck are they going to do for you at the hospital anyways? Is there some sort of “Life doesn’t suck” pill that is magically going to make people who don’t love you love you, people who aren’t loyal loyal, and you not responsible for your decisions?
I knew a girl who got stressed out when going to English classes in Dallas and had herself put in the hospital there. She got angry and threw bitch fits all over the place that they charged her THAT MUCH to not do anything except tell her she was okay.

46

Walking down the 1km white sand beach and back in wet surf shorts without an application of Desitin.

Outch!

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Two more from last night:

  1. this internet connection that I pay full time for but only seem to have connectivity about 1/4th of the time.
  2. 5:30 AM firecrackers.
48

When I buy a DVD of a major movie and there are no director’s commentaries. :raspberry:

49

People that pronounce the letter /h/ as “Haitch,” including (but not limited to) the current HBO Central presenter ("Next week on Haitch-B-O. . . ") and various English teachers from England I’ve had the misfortune to do recording work with in Taiwan. Someone make them stop! :fume: :wink:

50

Yes! Simone Heng. (Or is it actually Simone Eng?) I can’t stand her: “haitch” B O indeed…

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Good one! Wish I’d thought of that! I can’t stand her either, and just had to email HBO Asia and tell them why (very slow day today). If I get a reply, I’ll let you know! :laughing:

52

My neighbor just complained that my gf is playing the piano too loud at 1:00pm.

The windows are closed.

She is playing Rachmoninov.

Sweet beautiful music.

Poor lady.

53

The asswipe 2 floors down who has been jackhammering who knows what for 3 weeks is starting to really chap my ass. That and the f-ing miserable non stop shit garbage weather. It’s really pissing me off.

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And as soon as one neighbor stops jackhammering, another starts! :fume:

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People that take a crap, wipe their butt, and throw the toilet paper in the garbage right beside the toilet. :fume:
When the revolution comes, they will be first against the wall.

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[quote=“Josefus”]People that take a crap, wipe their butt, and throw the toilet paper in the garbage right beside the toilet. :fume:
When the revolution comes, they will be first against the wall.[/quote]

Surely there is a more creative and appropriate death for the pushers of such a filthy tradition. (But the toilet wont flush with a piece of disposable paper in it!)

I say they get pushed into the bog of eternal stench.

I used to let Taiwanese guests use my toilet and then ask them if they’d pissed in a bag. If they said no I’d tell them, ‘Mine is the kind of toilet you can’t piss in.’ Just to wind them up like!

I once thought of gluing my picture to all the paper money I ever used, just to see if I ever got one of ‘my’ notes back one day. But apparently it’s illegal.

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[quote=“TomHill”]
I used to let Taiwanese guests use my toilet and then ask them if they’d pissed in a bag. If they said no I’d tell them, ‘Mine is the kind of toilet you can’t piss in.’ Just to wind them up like! [/quote]
Did you ever find shoeprints on the seat? :roflmao:

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Or people who don’t pronounce the /h/ at all. Like “erbs” instead of “herbs”.

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This guy (許博允) really chaps my ass. He is the (most likely) insane :loco: boss of a company called New Aspect. They bring various lame or has-been performing artists to Taiwan. He makes his employees ( read: indentured slaves) work 7 days a week, and at least 15 hours a day. He doesn’t pay them overtime. It’s people like this that make me want to kill. The DNS has been working at least this much since CNY. I haven’t seen her for more than an hour since I got back from Koh Chang. I don’t neccessarily want kids, but I am seriously considering planting a seed just so she’ll quit. :smiling_imp:

On the upside, she is finally realizing what dicks this family are. I swear, when she leaves, I am going to do lots of mischevious things to attempt to bring about their ruin. I fucking hate them!!! :fume: :fume: :fume:

Otherwise, I am completely happy and chap-free. I don’t even get upset when a whaleblubber of a person is taking up two seats on the MRT or completely blocking out the sun. :laughing:

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Young people sitting in MRT “priority seats” pretending to be asleep so that they cannot see the pregnant, old or handicapped person right in front of them.