Thinking of separating

Alright, your husband wants a modern slave. Please do you a favour and go back to your country and finish your studies, or do it here, but take again control over your life and self. AT least you have to separate temporarily. You are YOUNG, which is something that can’t be said about many people here, and you have enough time to plan and get the best out of your life. Just take control of it NOW. Please listen to this advice.


Don’t look for it. The reason for breaking up though is that you are likely to feel like this or worse the rest of your life. Love happens, especially when you are young. Let it happen again while you’re young.


As an adult that now knows more about life. And as a responsible one who looks after her future, studying a fuckin’ masters.


don’t hesitate to talk with them on your current situation and ask for their help if needed, if you think your parents’ loving you.

@Hana find some time to phone home. Talk to your parents. You need support from family and friends. You are not alone.


Love is not enough to hold a marriage together, especially when it is one-sided.

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I’m of the opinion that divorce should be the last resort but I know I’m in a minority here.

My guess is that your husband doesn’t know how you feel and have no idea what you are going through. If you want to save your marriage, you need to know that he’s willing to put the effort as well. And if he doesn’t know what’s happening, how can he do that?

Divorce is one option, but not necessarily the best.


If you and your husband cannot just sit and talk about the life plan, better not have baby with him because raising kids will bring you guys MORE troubles!


What about your visa status? If say you did get a divorce, could you remain in Taiwan if you wanted? What about money? Bank account? Friends who could assist with a room, etc. if need be?

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Sounds like you need a marriage counselor, not advice from a bunch of randos.


Information where she could find an affordable counselor would be helpful.


How do you post something like this and not realise your husband is trash and has no respect for you?

How did you marry him in the first place? you really picked a winner…


it seems he hasn’t cared about your life from the first place, so you should care about and be responsible to your life. He is much older than you, and I guess you were still a student when you met him. He should have been the one who cares about your life, but what he cares is just his age and a baby for his mother, isn’t it?

You say you love him, but what of him do you love? Is it something he showed you on screen before you got married? How long time did you spend with him in person before the marriage? How is the time with him after the marriage? Do you really love the man in front of you? You should know this by yourself.

If separation could be a choice, and you should have decided if you want to stay in Taiwan after the divorce, or want to go back to your country. You should decide this by yourself too with a help of people you trust, maybe with your parents.

If you want to stay in Taiwan, you should know some legal things. This part, you may be able to get some information on this forum.

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If it takes you more than a few seconds to find this reason, you don’t have a good enough reason to sacrifice yourself for your husband (and his mama).

You deserve better. And you will have the possibility of finding better if you accept that love is not enough for a healthy marriage.

@tando, please…!

You can’t expect him to change.

He and his mother are already showing you that they don’t want to change, and they expect YOU to change.

All the warning signs are there. You should make plans to pursue your education with or without your husband.

Go get some legal advice. If you divorce can you stay in Taiwan, or will you lose residency?

Can you separate from your husband, maintain residency and work rights, and attend school?

Can you get an education in your home country?

Counseling may be an option, but counseling isn’t magic. Either person can use counseling to try to manipulate the other into changing behavior. You still have to stay strong.

And he lives with his mommy and daddy? And he has brought you to live with his mommy and daddy?

If this is the case, then you’re really outnumbered and I believe you’ll give in to their pressure. Once you do, you’ll be trapped forever.

The best course of action is to continue to refuse having a baby and explain your feelings to your husband and MIL. If they don’t respect your choice, then get out before you get pregnant.

If you are living with your husband’s mommy and daddy, tell your husband that you want to live in your own place. If money is the issue, then your husband is too much of a little boy to get married and he should probably stay with his mommy and daddy by himself.

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@Hana perhaps you need to ask yourself some questions. Why do you love him? What do you love about him? How long did you know him before you married him? How does he show love to you? What are your love languages and how do they differ?

Do you love him because it’s just how you feel? Feelings are not accurate. Love is more than feelings.

Yeah, this is where she does something called GOOGLE and look up “marriage counselor Taiwan” and start calling for rates.

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