UK grandparents denied custody of their murdered son’s child. He must stay with his killer mother’s parents in NW China


#41

Marrying a foreigner is not all that glorious. Here in Taiwan, a pal’s family bribed her mother who married an atoga because she brought shame to the family by not marrying a local. He died unexpectedly and they treated her as a shameful single mother, aside from no support, she had to pay for their debts and her children, including my pal, were always shamed as half breds. This was at the time when children of foreign fathers could not be considered ROC citizens, so they when they grew up they lost their residence here along with the family inheritance.

The boy being the prize leads to girls being treated as burdens. They must marry well and bring more money to pay off what was invested in them. That is tradition. The boy is useful as a farmland, a worker, a male heir, hence, they won’t let him go for all the money in the world. One just hopes they do not poison his mind so he forgets his family abroad and that his environment does not turn him into a psycho himself from bullying and shame due to his background.

In China, a single mother cannot register her child, for example. A divorcee has limited work prospects, especially with her social status. Even if he was paying her support, her burden and shame to the family , the social pressure in addition from getting on with a foreigner then divorcing him must have been too much. Hence, the explosion. Too many contradictions, no space to grow or release from pressure.

As to the guys, I hope you always use condoms and hope that someday you will also have access to other safer forms of birth control so that a one night stand, a psycho take me to America cling on type, or any other unsuitable partners can be avoided by getting on a plane, without leaving children behind.


#42

I call bullshit.


#43

Eh remember the Russian bride sales? Oh, mixed babies, so cute. Maybe the word I am looking for is fortunate. For both partners.

There must be flexibility and communication and understanding to bridge the gaps in any marriage. Painting an intercultural marriage as cute, an advantage or any other b.s. we have heard before is problematic. There are way too many lies and deceit and myths wrapped around marriage between people of two different cultures. Selling it as advantageous is dangerous, and we know there are some really weird ideas out there.

I am saying that for a Chinese woman, marrying a foreigner may not be received with applause and awe and envy from friends and family. The society will not react with joy, that is for sure. Abroad, Chinese marry Chinese for a reason, especially the lower classes. Brides are imported for a reason. The more enlightened are opening up, but overall, especially with the latest China is powerful again motto, interactions between cultures tend to go sour fast.


#44

Just joking :slight_smile: Indeed, it does not always seem to be a walk in the park. But then, marriage isn’t always anywhere.


#45

I think you make sense with what you say, the general scenario regarding the social pressures on a woman in that kind of situation. Although some of it may or may not apply depending on the exact situation. On thing that I don’t think would apply in most situations is social shame for getting together with a foreigner.

By the way my reference to the patriarchal escape goats was a tongue in cheek comment.

Anyway, one thing is for sure that story is a terrible tragedy for all involved.


#46

WTF is an “escape goat”?


#47

That’s when you refuse to take responsibility for your own missteaks.

(Cant believe my lame joke worked twice! @the_bear)


#48

if your family is racist and backwards as the one in your story then sure it ain’t gonna be bad but in general theres some positive treatment to mixed kids here and china.


#49

Like any legal binding contracts, both parties can really fuck over each other. I don’t think people get married to the right person and for the right reason. And fail to properly set up protections like having separate assets for themselves and for their children in certain circumstances.


#50

"Fu arrived at Mr Simpson’s apartment armed with a knife "

“He had no defensive wounds, suggesting Fu attacked him suddenly with a concealed knife when the argument turned violent.”

“Mr Simpson, who was an operations manager for Next and was overseeing the retailer’s expansion in the Far East, died moments later from the 2ins wound to the neck.”

“It had been previously been reported that Fu had tried to blackmail Mr Simpson and Ms Lin over embarrassing material she had of her.”

she brought the knife with her, killed him swiftly with a knife to the neck. doesn’t sound like a fit of rage to me, sounds calculated. and she tried to blackmail him before, she is a psycho.
a crime of passion is when people cheat is it not? this guy had already split up with her and moved on 2 years previously. total scary psycho bitch!


#51

If that’s not a psycho, then what is?


#52

That poor kid, he’s going to have a challenging life with all of this.


#53

There are two kids
They will both be scarred by this
They lost their Dad to their moms violence and will lose their mom through her being jailed or possibly executed

And now they will lose each other through being separated

It’s a tragedy of a great proportion


#54

Yes, of course. But as Andrew0409 points out the lad is going to have one hell of a more challenging life. His grandfather is an illiterate bicycle repair man who brings home around 200US a month. Plus there are signs of mental health issues in that family. Fingers crossed the grandparents in the UK manage to buy the kid’s custody.


#55

Yes the boy should be allowed to go to the UK as well
That will be much better for him
And at least he will have his sister as well
Hope as you say the grandparents in he UK can buy his freedom


#56

What mental issues?

And are there any reports on why the Chinese authorities decided(assuming there has been some custody battle as they said they spendt 100k on this already) the kids should stay in the China countryside


#57

If stabbing your husband to death isn’t a sign of a mental issue, then what is?


#58

Sure, but I was asking about the mental issues of the grandparents


#59

True, there’s no proof. But mental health issues like bi-polar disorder, manic depression and paranoid schizophrenia often run in families. It’s a gamble I certainly wouldn’t want to take.


#60

Well if that’s the case then these two poor kids may have that going for them too in addition to their already tragic and tumultuous turn of events that is mind blurring