This COVID19, for something made in China it seems to be lasting too long!
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From Twitter:
Well, China did finish the NBA after all.
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It finally happened! The flight attendant asked “Is there a doctor on this flight?” and I leapt up and said yes!
Did a tracheotomy at 30,000 ft with a razor blade and a ballpoint pen.
He didn’t make it, but the thrill was undeniable. Thinking of going to medical school now.
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The World Health Organization has confirmed that pets cannot transmit the novel coronavirus, and there is no need to keep them inside or in quarantine.
WHO let the dogs out!
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Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He’d have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community…
If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they’d have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.
However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a ‘silent’ debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and the Rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The Rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever.
The Jews could stay in Italy!
Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. Finally, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue!”
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had won.
“I don’t have a clue!!!” the Rabbi said.
“First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews, so I told him that we were staying right here.”
“And then what?” asked a woman.
“Who knows!!” said the Rabbi. “He took out his lunch, so I took out mine!”
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Looks like it’s time to pull out the big guns…
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Sorry, where’s the guns?
You most decidedly are…
What do flowers wear under their petals?
“Underplants”
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A limbo champion walked into a bar
… he was immediately disqualified.
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Essentially, he just gave him a New Zealand accent.
Works for some.
What are baby pickles made from?
Cute cumbers
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What letter would twins like the most?
W
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Why the coffee tasted like mud?
Because it was ground few minutes ago!
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