Honestly, this sounds like culture shock more than anything else. Are there any Taiwanese restaurants in town?
Probably I could find one, I know what you think, search someone for him to speak with him, that comes from Taiwan so knows more about their mindset?
I dont know if this is culture shock, he said something about his parents, but no idea what that could be.
He must be in big need, he cried even hes normally such shy, and it didnt look like he cried voluntary, it looked more like he couldnt hold his emotions back anymore.
Hello folks,
I come from Germany and have to do with a employee from a taiwanese software company that makes firmware for self driving forklift.
I dont want to bother you by writing all what already happened again, if you are interested, read here: Do Taiwanese have this keeping face thing the same way as Japanese?
Now is the problem that it seems he is lonely and searches for conatct (I wonder why hes so young, hes alone here and first 20 years old, thats a little bit strange for me)
It has become that he is now with me at home, and I want to help him because it seems he has some more or less seroius problems. The last night for example he stood in the middle of the night crying in front of me and asked to cuddle, normally he sleeps on the sofa in the living room, he has a hotel room paid by his comapny too here, but refuses to go back to the hotel sience has was the first time by me at home. I really dont get smart out of this guy. I have the theory that he is in love with me, but the first time as I met him (the time before he was at home by me) he was extremely shy against me and avoided me, than in the first night he was in my home he cried and telled that he has problems with his parents and fear against mainland china and has problems with his job, I really dont get smart out of that, would be really nice if someone who is taiwanese by himself can tell me a little bit how their mindset in focus of problems and this thing with keeping face works. I even asked him if he want to speak tih another taiwanese for example from a taiwanese restaurant here in Germany (A hint from another forumosa user) but he said that thats not necessary.
My actually opinion is that he did not get so much love from his parants in childhood (Dont know how strict the Taiwanese parents are with eduaction, probobly this hurted him)?
Iam 20 by myself, so at the same age as he, but not in a job position in my company that allow me to fly orund the world. He has not such a hard job here (Initilaizing software, no coding or such) and I want to help him if I can, but its hard because I dont know how to speak with him even hes now much more open than before, he stays shy, and I think someone or something has hurted him in the past so much that he is now afraid that another person could hurt him too, if he allows too much psychical contact.
Hope soemone can help me a little bit.
Not unlike how people in germany but depends on a persons coping mechanisms which can differ.
Alcohol, drugs, hanging with friends, entertainment like movies, parties, video games, sports and recreation, sex.
Sounds like the gentleman does not have the proper coping mechanism in place or the proper social network for him and is coming to you.
What does âsmart outâ mean? Perhaps itâs a german term that doesnât make sense in English.
Has he gone through conscription? Normally thatâs where he gets straightened out, although they baby you much more these days.
It means âdonât get itâ, was a try by my brain to use german language system in english language, google translator said me now that that was wrong.
Do you know a way to get him even a little bit comfortable? The only thing he relaxes I noticed, is if he can cuddle with me, he did that the half last night and sleeped well. I think he has gotten overstressed in his childhood or such, that would explain why he searches my near, or he is simply in love with me, but I really dont know it, he doesnt speak so much, and is a little shy. I will try to speak with him again and hope to find the background of his behavior out.
But another question: Do you think it would be a good idea to tell my boss about the story, or would it be better to do not to that until I know more? I had the hipe that my boss can speak with the taiwanese company and they can help him?
I dont know if hes already conscripted in taiwan, at what age they conscript their people normally? (We have no force for conscription in Germany, dont know if this is the same in Taiwan?)
Is the boss the only option? Our company has a help line where we can anonymously discuss situations, and that would be my first step in a similar situation. Going straight to the boss could lead to negative career consequences for him and possibly you, depending on how they interpret the situation. For me, I would alert the boss to specifics only if I thought there was potential for the colleague to harm himself or others.
Warning: donât take my advice too seriously. I am just an older guy who is not German or Taiwanese, and I have absolutely no training in psychology. Just mandatory HR training at work every year 
Good luck!
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This is weird. A grown man asking to cuddle with another one. Why would you agree to this?
I am very sensitive in this regard, trust me, Iâve already had my experiences in life, even when Iâm only 20 by myself, I know well how lonelyness and sadness feels and how it hurts⌠If I can help him with that and heâs lonely, why not. Well I think heâs cute, but I donât know if itâs mutual. As long as I donât know, Iâll wait and see what he does.
It also worries me a little that he finds the courage to ask me about cuddling, he must be very lonely, usually he is much too shy to ask such things so I think he has to be very desperate/sad or lonely inside that he did even ask.
Our company is ways too small to have such things, we are called in German Mittelstand, that means small company, not such small that it has only one employee, but not a big company like VW or Siemens. The next question is, if he would allow speaking with a stranger, he speaks with me, but only very limited, and he is still shy.
I have experienced Sadness and lonelyness in my life already, I know how it feels, and I think he must have big inner pain, but hes not able to speak with another one about it, because (I assume) he has fear to get more hurted.
I will speak tomorrow probably with him careful, he is nice and not this sort of idiotic boss, so we can see what we can do.
We have asked him as he came if he needs something, if he feels well all, we even made the offer to pay for his internet and such things in the hotel and such but he said always the all is fine. I have only noticed that he has problems because he looked so sad (And had this strange behavior first) and cried in this night at home by me. I think he has much pain inside (He cried in the first night he was by me because he couldnt hide it anymore I think)
What kind of hotel doesnât offer free Internet access?
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Maybe just ask him straight up whatâs going on and if he has feelings for you for something.
The hotels in Germany are not that friendly, you have to pay for everything (But luckyly the warm water in the shower is included in the room price) There are in the most cases two sorts of hotels here: Those who have a free internet with a limit of 500mb data, and these who have no free internet. (If you find a free internet offer in Germany somewhere (Hotel, restaurant, and further) be careful, the most of them have time or data (Or both) limitation) some expensive hotels have unlimited free internet and all service you want, but the problem on those is, that you will have offers they not clearly say that this costs extra money (Very very small written in the offer for example) but after your visit you will see all that very clearly on your bill.
Itâs around 10 years since last time I stayed at a hotel without free Internet and I will probably never do it again. Had some trips to Germany in recent years but canât remember not having Internet included.
Anyway Taiwanese people are connected to fast and reliable Internet 247. 500mb is not enough for a fetus to survive half a day. Maybe he is having some serious withdrawal symptoms?
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Hard to believe one of the most developed nations would have hotels that arenât with the international standards of having free WiFi now.
In some countries hotels still routinely charge for the internet . Japan is a good example.
HAHAHA most developed? You call Germany most developed? Really?
Probably it was sometime, but if it was, since I can think theres nothing leftâŚ
I would say Taiwan is ten times more developed than Germany, we have not even a working Notwork for chargers for E Vehicles, smart city? Forget it, some other future technologies? Not with Germany, too unsecure, too unsafe, even E kickscooters need to have a number plate, and are only allowed to drive 20kmhâŚ
Numberplate and speed limits is what makes Germany too unsecure and too unsafe?
Hm Iâve been to many Japanese hotels in the past years but no paid Internet. Maybe I have stayed in hotels without free Internet without realising as I mostly use my mobile and tethering.